Cleaning Out The Fridge

Just recently I was asked by The Fridge Peepers for a picture of the inside of my refrigerator, but the inside was so disgusting I had to submit the freezer instead.

So I decided (a couple weeks later) to clean out the bottom of the fridge.

Inside the refrigerator I found this:

I believe it's a pink toy hedgehog.It belongs to the Toddler.

That prompted me to do this:

Butter was on sale by the way, you don't have to pray for our arteries.

Side Note:

Those who know me well would assume that I made the Barbies topless. I did not. I found them that way. (I did make the one touch the other one's boob though.)

Then I waited. First the Toddler:

The Toddler thought this was the greatest thing ever! Daddy is so funny. Give him money for being so funny!

Then unfortunately the Teenager:

Doesn't care what's in there...opens the door, pushes everything aside for a can of Dr. Pepper, and goes about his business. (This is why I can't bring my friends to the house, Dad!)

The Fridge Peeper

Just recently had the honor of my refrigerator being featured on The Fridge Peepers blog. Check it out here:

http://thefridgepeepshow.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/the-zombie-lovers-fridge/

Side Note: I submitted the freezer because with 4 children in the house…the bottom half is disgusting. There is usually something spilled, something sticky, some toy, and quite possibly something alive in there at all times.

It brings up two very, very important questions:

1) Why is there a “D” in Fridge and not in Refrigerator? Shouldn’t it either be Frige or Refridgerator?

and

2) Are there other blogs interested in what I have to offer in various cupboards, drawers, and crawlspaces in my house?

I might be hooked on sharing them now. Thanks a lot Fridge Peeper!

I don’t have time to seek these people out, so I am hoping they find me.

For the Junk Drawer Peeper:

Is that duct tape for everyday household fixes...or for kinky sex games?

For the Hallway Closet Peeper:

Do you know what this says about my personality? Yup, I like to wear jackets when it's cold.

For the Garage Peeper:

Before you judge me too much, there are no basements in Florida. You are almost forced to use your garage as a storage unit. Oh, and Merry Christmas.

For the Pantry Peeper:

Spaghettios and Vodka. Does a pantry need anything else?

Things Found Around The House

Here are a few things found around the house that caught my eye today:

I think this proves the Toddler is not a racist...or that she might be color blind.

This is my favorite brand of cheap poptarts because in the title it tells you how to cook them, then it tells you what to expect when they are done. No surprises here.

I'm afraid to try this coffee. I have never eaten caribou before, and I am not a big venison person anyway.

Hair product or porno advert?

The toddler's bedroom. Notice all the pink girly stuff...and the scary Halloween pumpkin! (Might explain why she sometimes gets scarred in the middle of night...that's what they teach you in good parenting 101.)

The Teenage Girl sometimes hides for days in her room...never to be seen. Now I know how she survives...secret stash of Nutella.

The boy's bathroom. Very scary. Never go here! However I do notice 4 or 5 deodorants, shaving cream, 2 combs, a manicure kit...yet they are never bathed, shaved, or have combed hair...and always smell bad. Hmmm...

The fire alarms and I like to fight...usually around 3 am in the morning. This one lost.

See picture below

This is my collection of real food based on fake foods. These are from the Simpson's and True Blood TV shows.

Updating Some Classic Books

I have updated some books for my never ending campaign to get kids and adults to read more:

Are You There God, It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss

It by Stephen King

The Little Engine That Could

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

And my very popular Time Life Books series of How To Books: How To (Blank) With A Naked Lady Wearing Nothing But Cowboy Boots And Hat.

Facebook Friday Pt 1

My favorite Facebook posts this week:

Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 25

Everyone needs one.

One of the dangers of not protecting the environment.

Good story...not enough pictures

If it comes down to it...

Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 24

No...everyone loves pictures of water.

 

Cats have very addictive personalities.

 

Drop me off!

 

CDs are becoming outdated anyway....

Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 23

His name is my name too.

Just. Like. Life.

Instructions for Bachelors and Teenagers

Can't decide which way is hotter...

Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 22

Poor Mr. Octopus

Just giving the lady a helping hand...full

As long as he doesn't tell that watch story from Pulp Fiction, I'm good with that.

It's the faces that makes this funny. Trust me. Keep looking at the picture awhile.

Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 21

The Last Friday of 2011, and according to the Mayans, we are going to be short Friday’s in 2012…and there will be none in 2013…oh well!

Sounded like fun at first, then I thought it might hurt certain parts of my male anatomy a lot.

 

My neighbor is the same way.

 

Dude, the other door is so far away, dude.

 

Poor T-Rex. No clapping, no masturbating, no rock and roll flute playing.