What WordPress Recommends I Read Pt 1:

23 Nov

I was combing WordPress looking for some new stuff to read. I usually hit the humor section because…hey I like to laugh. I don’t know if your into that, but that’s cool, we are have are thing man. When suddenly WordPress decided to make some suggestions of stuff that I might like to read.

Thanks WordPress, that’s really cool of you, except….you used the thing I hate most:

Robots.

I am not talking about those big shiny metal things that are suppose to do our housework for us and make our lives easier, then take over the world and either in-slave us until we invent time travel or keep us as pets in pod like things while inventing a reality we think is real…yet is not! Take the blue pill dammit!

I am talking about computer programs that look for key words in things and then make suggestions off of these words. Twitter has robots on it. Sometimes I like to try to see how many robot responses I can get by just Tweeting random words. If you have a Twitter account, and you should, try tweeting the words: Call Of Duty, and you will see what I mean.

In building my reading list below, the robots took key words from my posts. It looks like from the titles of my posts, but I’m not quite sure. It made for a very interesting reading list.

Posts I Like  – Thanks WordPress for suggesting I read about things I like, because like an idiot I was reading about things I don’t like! Such as: lugnut wrenches, high school required reading assignments, and Ed Asner’s biography. I was getting no enjoyment from reading at all. Now, thanks to WordPress I read about the things that interest me. (This almost sounds like an infomercial.)

P2s – I’m not sure what this is…but I’m sure what whatever it is, it’s very important…more important than P1s.

<Toddlers – I have written about my toddler. I may want to read about other people’s toddlers, but I don’t want to read about less than toddlers. I might want to read about greater than toddlers, or algebraic toddlers, but less than toddlers do not interest me at all. You know…they are less than a toddler. Who wants to read about that? Wrong again WordPress robot!

// True + – //False –

4 Year Old – That is the age of my toddler a few months back. Now she is five. Keep up WordPress robot. You were at the birthday party. You ate four pieces of cake you pig!

Advil – Trying to rack my brain if I ever wrote about Advil, but it’s giving me a headache.

Africa – Now there is a fun place! Can’t see myself writing about, although I read a great book once called: The Hot Zone about diseases in Africa.

Aliens – Love aliens…the kind from outer space, not the kind from other countries.

Apps – I’m addicted to apps. Amazon.com gives a free paid app away everyday if you have an Android phone.

Back Pain – I have back pain, but I don’t ever remember writing about it, nor do I want to read about it.

Bacon – If you don’t write about bacon at least once, your blog is not worth reading.

Bad Dad – That’s me. I only had children so that I could legally mentally torture them. I could go to jail if I did that to someone else’s children.

Bad Teeth – Don’t think I would want to read about anyone’s bad teeth. That would not fall under Posts I Like.

Barney The Dinosaur – Although a hero to us all, Barney scares me. Luckily I only had one child out of four into Barney, and I still tease him to this day about it. You know who you are teenager!

Bears – I wrote about Zombie Bears once, however Robert Kirkman (Walking Dead) said there could not be zombie animals. I disagree, animals catch viruses too.

Beatles – I heard Ringo is a fan of my blog. 

Bigfoot – Hide and Seek Champion Of The World

Cable Tv – If I choose to pursue this topic, I’m sure every blog will be about how it’s over-priced and under-serviced, including the Cable TV company’s own blog. No thanks.

Chant – Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read…

Chap-stick – Another exciting suggestion. Let’s see what could we say about chap-stick? It’s round, you’ll lose it before you finish it, it doesn’t fix video games like YouTube says it does…

Chicken – My favorite subject…how did you know? I talk and read about chickens all the time. I’m like chicken this and chicken that…I’m plucky like that.

Chicken Nuggets – These are like crack cocaine to Toddlers.

Children – Got ’em. Too many of them. Don’t want to read about them. I don’t even read what I write about my own.

Chuck Berry – All I know of this dude is that he wrote a song called: My Ding-A-Ling. And really that’s all you ever need to know of Chuck Berry.

I have more, but I’m going to save them for another day.

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