Dinner With The Angry Family

16 Apr

YOU BURNT THE ROAST AGAIN! THIS IS THE SIMPLEST DISH IN THE WORLD TO MAKE…THROW IT IN THE CROCK POT, PRESS A BUTTON, AND YOUR DONE! HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO BURN IT EVERY TIME?!

IF YOUR SUCH A MASTER CHEF, MR. BALD-GORDON-RAMSEY, THEN YOU COOK DINNER!

I WOULD STILL HAVE MY HAIR IF I WASN’T MARRIED TO YOU!

CAN’T WE, FOR ONCE, HAVE A PLEASANT MEAL WITHOUT ALL THE FIGHTING?!

I JUST WANT TO EAT MY PEAS IN PEACE!

CAN SOMEONE FEED THE BABY, PLEASE?!

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO SELFISH?! MY GIRLFRIEND JUST DUMPED ME AND YOU PEOPLE CARE ABOUT IS SOME CHEAP BURNT MEAT?!

DID YOU SAY YOUR GIRLFRIEND DUMPED YOU?! ARE YOU SAYING YOU’RE A LESBIAN?!

DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT MEAT IS CHEAP! 

ARE YOU LISTENING?! OUR DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN!

WHY DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW HOT THAT IS DAD?!

WHY CAN’T YOU PEOPLE EXCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?!

CAN SOMEONE FEED THE BABY, PLEASE?!

WOOF!

MEOW!

If one of you don’t mind…can somebody change my litter please? It’s been like four months…

I’M GOING TO EAT THE HAMSTER IF SOMEONE DOESN’T FEED ME SOON!

*gulp*

And scene.

Advertisements

48 Responses to “Dinner With The Angry Family”

  1. Dotty Headbanger April 16, 2012 at 12:28 PM #

    Dear Chris,

    Brilliant, made me laugh out loud (and that’s not easy, I’m a miserable git today).
    🙂

    Love Dotty xxx

    • chrisdevoss April 16, 2012 at 12:50 PM #

      I’m glad I could be there for you. 🙂

  2. BrainRants April 16, 2012 at 1:35 PM #

    Epic. Truly Epic. The baby’s comments puncuating the flow of this was brilliant… no zombies? Well, at least there was a lesbian.

    • chrisdevoss April 16, 2012 at 3:22 PM #

      Zombie lesbians….hmmm.

  3. Maggie O'C May 14, 2012 at 1:57 PM #

    Oh, I see that you do have a cooking blog, please disregard earlier comment.

    • chrisdevoss May 14, 2012 at 3:18 PM #

      I think the only thing this proves is that I have had dinner with relatives before.

  4. sigough June 8, 2012 at 3:10 AM #

    Chris, Zombie Poker could work…

  5. Dugutigui June 10, 2012 at 10:17 AM #

    Brilliant mind!

  6. Ink. [Anette] June 11, 2012 at 7:52 AM #

    Fabulous crazy. He ate the hamster!!!

  7. boomiebol August 30, 2012 at 4:54 PM #

    I see you met my family :)…a wonderful bunch they are when the booze stops flowing. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog.

  8. dinnerversions September 1, 2012 at 3:45 PM #

    Hilarious! I’m going to have to reference this post in a future one of mine.

  9. Jim Wheeler September 16, 2012 at 10:55 AM #

    Your humor connects with me, Christopher. Excellent. Soooo, what the hell are we?

    Idea #1: Humans cursed with seeing life without blinders.

    • Christopher De Voss September 16, 2012 at 11:02 AM #

      I was going with idiot savants, but I like how you put it better.

  10. peachyteachy November 4, 2012 at 7:28 PM #

    Wait. I was just browsing through the only non-Sandy related blogpost on Freshly Pressed (yours) and writing a comment, but before I had submitted that comment, there was a like from you on my random Sloth post. As far as I am concerned, that is tantamount to lightning strike on the follow button. Just mine, following yours. Because my follower community can fit in a Wendy’s and is pretty claustrophobic. . .Although they are funny.

  11. Ned's Blog February 22, 2013 at 6:48 PM #

    Truly excellent, Chris! By the time I got to the brother’s “Dad, don’t you see how HOT that is?!” I was rolling! I have to admit, though: I’m still questioning the hamster’s sexual orientation…

  12. pleisbilongtumi March 20, 2013 at 9:09 AM #

    That is brilliant idea for the tittle. 🙂

  13. ohlidia March 25, 2013 at 9:01 PM #

    Too funny!! Thanks for visiting!

  14. tarnishedsophia May 13, 2013 at 4:45 PM #

    I just scared my cockatiel into going back into his cage from laughing so hard. I hope you’re happy…

    Also, why are you stalking my family? 😛

  15. ksbeth May 19, 2013 at 3:54 PM #

    the pissed off baby is my fav!

    • Christopher De Voss May 19, 2013 at 4:16 PM #

      I think pissed off baby is everyone’s favorite. Haha!

      • ksbeth May 19, 2013 at 4:19 PM #

        yeh, i think it’s something about what they are expected to be: the sweetest little dumplings on earth, contrasted with seeing one who is pissed off and looking for a fight )

      • Christopher De Voss May 19, 2013 at 4:41 PM #

        True!

  16. kayuk May 24, 2013 at 4:35 PM #

    OMG! I was gasping for breath at the end. Absolutely love the hamster and baby.

  17. generaliregi June 6, 2013 at 7:34 AM #

    THE COMEDY IS WONDERFUL

  18. lazylauramaisey June 17, 2013 at 3:09 PM #

    Fabulous! I loved this!

  19. Kev September 17, 2013 at 7:37 AM #

    Brilliant! Absolutely love it! The baby is definitely the best character. 😉 lmao

  20. sothislife October 26, 2013 at 12:03 PM #

    Brilliant, loved it………reminds me a bit of my childhood, but we had alot of being stuck with a fork, thanks mom.

    • Christopher De Voss October 26, 2013 at 3:53 PM #

      I guess that’s better than a knife.

      • sothislife October 26, 2013 at 4:03 PM #

        Those were for other fun times

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: