Sleazy The 8th Dwarf

23 Jan

The Inspiration:

Dear Mr. Sleazy,

We regret to inform you that due to certain…creative directions…we have decided to go with seven dwarfs not eight. Although our decision was a hard one, since we have to redo several weeks of footage for our movie, we feel that you were just not a right fit for us. Our goal is to provide good wholesome family entertainment. Your goal seems to be to demoralize and objectify women, children, and small woodland creatures. On that note, you might want to take in consideration that you are a dwarf, and lifting your tunic above your head does not seem to be impressing Snow White, The Evil Queen, or any other lady on the set. Also, we will be sending you a bill for all the psychological help we have given to the extras on the set, mainly the squirrels and the rabbits.

It really is a shame that we have to let you go in such a manner. When the auditions came down to you and Shifty Dwarf, you showed so much talent…except when you puked all over the Mirror, Mirror On The Wall…and peed on the poison apples…Oh, and gambled away all of the dwarf’s gems from the mine. So I guess in hind sight, you were just cheaper to hire. My fault, I will never make that mistake again.

You have 10 minutes to collect your things, then Security will be escorting you off the lot.

Sincerely,

Walt

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4 Responses to “Sleazy The 8th Dwarf”

  1. Christine Smith-Johnson January 24, 2012 at 10:13 AM #

    lol That is too funny! Bad sleazy…

    i just found out recently that my children’s uncle on their father’s side, is the one who design’s the Disney designs and their other uncle is the Family Circus cartoonist. How about that for not knowing who your family is?! It is a private joke between my children…”I have a what, who? I swear, we meet a new family member every month! Why did we not know?” I guess I am obviously too much of a homebody! 🙂

  2. chrisdevoss January 24, 2012 at 10:39 PM #

    That’s crazy. Bill Keane was the Family Circus guy I think. All I remember from that strip was the Not Me ghosts. If I have anyone famous in my family they would be for something obscure like inventor of the lug nut or ghost writer of Abraham Lincoln’s autobiography. Then I can be that guy that says, “You know those lug nuts on your car…yup, my pa invented those in 1902. Changed the whole nut and bolt industry. Sad thing is he blew all his money on one legged prostitutes.”

    • Christine Smith-Johnson January 25, 2012 at 11:08 AM #

      lol You crack me up! I actually have something I invented but did not receive credit for. You just brought that to mind. When my husband was killed, his murderer kept coming into my home, setting the alarm off. (He lived next door before we moved.) It was a nightmare! I was at work, and by the time the police got there, he was gone. Every single time! Before I installed cameras, I asked the alarm company if they had a mobile phone app with a camera viewing system. They replied they did not, but would pass the word on. I was in shock and only had staying alive on my mind to even think of protecting my idea. Well, several years later, ADT now has a mobile phone app, that allows you to control your alarm and view your entry ways at home. How crazy is that?! I could be sitting on a pretty penny right now.

      I love your sense of humor! I hope you are having a great week.

      • chrisdevoss January 25, 2012 at 10:13 PM #

        Thank you. I hope you have a great week as well.Your husband was murdered and the killer lived next door? I can’t even imagine!

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