Common Core – The Death Of Math As We Know It (And Not In A Good Way)

5 Sep Featured Image -- 6843

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

“Daddy, I need your help,” the 7 year old says to me.

“Sure honey…with what?” I respond.

“Homework. Math. I don’t understand it.”

Second grade math. Easy. Addition. Subtraction. Piece. Of. Cake. Now is my chance to look like a Super Hero! Captain Mathman! Super Subtraction-man! The Great Additionanator!

With great pride and bravado I say, “Let’s see what we got going on here. Show me the problem.”

She walks the computer over and stops with a jolt. It’s still plugged into the wall.

Cute.

Warning:

That is the very last cute thing of this horrible tale you will read. Proceed at your own risk of hair and brain cell loss.

The 7 year old is frustrated.

“I don’t understand this problem,” she says all cute and doey eyed.

Jenny has 37 nude pictures on her iPhone 18. A hacker steals 19 of the pictures and uploads them to the internet. How many nude…

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LYRICAL GRAFFITI

3 Sep Featured Image -- 6840

Originally posted on hastywords:

This duet is surrounded by a story written by Christopher De Voss with Long Awkward Pause.  The picture is of my friend Kristina Hickman and taken at an abandoned rail maintenance station in El Reno, Oklahoma.  I really love how this simple duet turned into a complete piece of mixed media.  Please visit Long Awkward Pause and give them a much deserved follow!IMG_0224 copyWritten by Christopher De Voss and Hastywords

On the south side of Hampton stood the projects.

The projects were several blocks of German brick townhouses and single story shops that were now vacant. It was once an artsy neighborhood where the upper middle class lived and played. You could walk out your front door, then walk down the street to the local wine and cheese shop for a quick sample every Saturday. Over the sound system some new age music of some sort or other would…

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The Over The Line Show #8 with Special Guest: Henry Rollins Plus Robin Williams Tribute

22 Aug Featured Image -- 6826

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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On Today’s Show:

Special Guest:

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Henry Rollins

Henry Rollins wears many hats; a musician, writer, journalist, publisher, actor, radio host, spoken word artist, radio show host, and activist. 

Rollins was the front man for the bands, Black Flag and the Rollins Band.

He  has also hosted numerous radio shows, television shows, and been in several movies. Rollins has also campaigned for various political causes in the United States, including promoting LGBT rights, World Hunger Relief, and an end to war in particular.

Plus:

A tribute to Robin Williams

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Listen to the Show Here:

You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-08-19T07_57_10-07_00

Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/

iTunes Link: Listen Here

You can contact Jack or Joe for topic suggestions or to be a guest HERE

You can download the podomatic app for your phone here:

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MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

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The Official Handshake Etiquette Guidebook

16 Aug Featured Image -- 6806

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Shaking hands is a greeting ritual that dates back to the early Neolithic period, and it was somewhere around that time when people decided it was more appropriate than licking someone’s face to acknowledge a clan member.

This custom along with its many variations have lead to some confusion since the advent of Instagram, but fret not!  We have officially been commissioned by The International Handshaking and Other Hand Gestures Council to construct a brief quick-reference guide to hand-humping.  It was a free gig and we take what we can get.

Below you’ll find a list of handshakes that are internationally recognized by the council.

Please print this list and keep it for future reference in case you meet people not on Facebook.

1.  The Double Embrace

This variation is a particularly intimate one which involves a two-handed grab, or embrace by one of the hand-shaking parties.

See below:

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It’s…

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The Sunshine State

12 Aug Featured Image -- 6803

Christopher De Voss:

Thank you for the feature. Go check a brother out…Brother John that is…

Originally posted on Brother Jon's Page:

As I mentioned here 2014 will be the year of bloggers, for bloggers. Influenced by, and dedicated to Christopher De Voss at chrisdevoss.wordpress.com and longawkwardpause.com, please enjoy the following.

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7 Reasons You Need to See Guardians of the Galaxy

7 Aug Featured Image -- 6794

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Even though it made $94 million its opening weekend and your one friend who knows a little too much about the Marvel Universe has been begging you to see it, you may still be on the fence about shelling out ten bucks for a ticket and forty dollars on concession stand goods to see Guardians of the Galaxy. Your skepticism isn’t unreasonable, but if you don’t see Guardians of the Galaxy, you’re going to be that weird person at parties who people don’t know how to act around. You’ll be missing out on talking raccoons, Groot, and amazing music. Below are the only seven reasons you need to be convinced seeing Guardians of the Galaxy is absolutely necessary for pop culture survival.

1. Your deepest Star-Lord fantasies won’t seem so delusional.

Ever noticed how most Marvel heroes seem like the kind of douchebags who’d be ordering fancy craft beers at the bar with a pompous demeanor that…

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The Saturday Six: Provocative Doodles

27 Jul Featured Image -- 6782

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

 saturday six

 David Jablow is a multi-media artist who took some suggestive mid-2oth century “doodle pads” and added his own creative flair to them.

Remember kiddies, this is back before internet porn.

This is what you call: Do-it-yourself-porn.

Hopefully you good at drawing…accessories.

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What doodles could we add here? Why did we pick the most unattractive position for breasts to hang….and what is she retrieving? Some dropped car keys?

doodleorginial2

At least this position is a little sexier and you could give her robot hands if you so desired…and we know you do!

Below is the doodle we picked to feature on this week’s SS6 because of it’s endless possibilities for sexy doodling…and also the hair cut reminds us of Snow White. We like Snow White.

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Happy Saturday!


1. Doodle Provocative Ninja!

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Omawarisan: “Everything was going well. None of them looked up. Not a one. And then, I fell.”

Ned: “And night after night, as the…

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Four Hot Rumors About iPhone 6

24 Jul Featured Image -- 6780

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

The release date for the iPhone 6, Apple’s latest iteration of its “must have” device, is approaching. The tech company is producing 70-80 million new phones to make sure they can meet the demand when it goes on sale this fall.

The hype over the new phone has started and rumors about its features are flooding the internet. But there is only one place on the net where you can find iPhone 6 rumors that are worth the paper they are printed on. You guessed it, Long Awkward Pause is your source for the best rumors on what you can expect when you reach the front of the line at the Apple Store.

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LAP advisory: In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler

24 Jul Featured Image -- 6775

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.

We all know it’s only a matter of time before “The Big One” hits the West Coast, probably somewhere in California first because, let’s face it, they get everything first. The aftershocks will then spread north along Oregon’s coastline, which is exactly where I happen to live. I’ve prepared myself for The Big One as best I can but the truth is: How much can you really prepare for a Sharknado?

Earthquake.
Tsunami.
Volcano.

No problemo.

But you’re going to need more than a survival kit of granola bars and toilet paper when faced with a giant tornado full of hungry Great White sharks. Although the toilet paper will probably come in handy.

What you need is someone who knows how to handle aggressive fish. Someone who isn’t afraid to reach inside its gaping jaws and show it who’s boss…

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The Over The Line Show #7 with Special Guests: Brooke Burns, Adam Baldwin, and Weird Al Yankovic

21 Jul Featured Image -- 6767

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

over the line banner

On Today’s Show:

Special Guests:

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Brooke Burns: actress / model / host of “The Chase” on GSN and “Motor City Masters” on TruTV

Adam Baldwin:  actor / co-star of the new hit TNT series "The Last Ship

Adam Baldwin:  actor / co-star of the new hit TNT series “The Last Ship

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to the Show Here:

You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-07-17T09_59_58-07_00

Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/

iTunes Link: Listen Here

You can contact Jack or Joe for topic suggestions or to be a guest HERE

You can download the podomatic app for your phone here:

gp-store-badge itunes-store-badge

—–

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag

Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic

Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP?  Click HERE.

 

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