The Saturday Six: Provocative Doodles

27 Jul Featured Image -- 6782

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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 David Jablow is a multi-media artist who took some suggestive mid-2oth century “doodle pads” and added his own creative flair to them.

Remember kiddies, this is back before internet porn.

This is what you call: Do-it-yourself-porn.

Hopefully you good at drawing…accessories.

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What doodles could we add here? Why did we pick the most unattractive position for breasts to hang….and what is she retrieving? Some dropped car keys?

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At least this position is a little sexier and you could give her robot hands if you so desired…and we know you do!

Below is the doodle we picked to feature on this week’s SS6 because of it’s endless possibilities for sexy doodling…and also the hair cut reminds us of Snow White. We like Snow White.

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Happy Saturday!


1. Doodle Provocative Ninja!

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Omawarisan: “Everything was going well. None of them looked up. Not a one. And then, I fell.”

Ned: “And night after night, as the…

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Four Hot Rumors About iPhone 6

24 Jul Featured Image -- 6780

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

The release date for the iPhone 6, Apple’s latest iteration of its “must have” device, is approaching. The tech company is producing 70-80 million new phones to make sure they can meet the demand when it goes on sale this fall.

The hype over the new phone has started and rumors about its features are flooding the internet. But there is only one place on the net where you can find iPhone 6 rumors that are worth the paper they are printed on. You guessed it, Long Awkward Pause is your source for the best rumors on what you can expect when you reach the front of the line at the Apple Store.

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LAP advisory: In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler

24 Jul Featured Image -- 6775

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.

We all know it’s only a matter of time before “The Big One” hits the West Coast, probably somewhere in California first because, let’s face it, they get everything first. The aftershocks will then spread north along Oregon’s coastline, which is exactly where I happen to live. I’ve prepared myself for The Big One as best I can but the truth is: How much can you really prepare for a Sharknado?

Earthquake.
Tsunami.
Volcano.

No problemo.

But you’re going to need more than a survival kit of granola bars and toilet paper when faced with a giant tornado full of hungry Great White sharks. Although the toilet paper will probably come in handy.

What you need is someone who knows how to handle aggressive fish. Someone who isn’t afraid to reach inside its gaping jaws and show it who’s boss…

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The Over The Line Show #7 with Special Guests: Brooke Burns, Adam Baldwin, and Weird Al Yankovic

21 Jul Featured Image -- 6767

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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On Today’s Show:

Special Guests:

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Brooke Burns: actress / model / host of “The Chase” on GSN and “Motor City Masters” on TruTV

Adam Baldwin:  actor / co-star of the new hit TNT series "The Last Ship

Adam Baldwin:  actor / co-star of the new hit TNT series “The Last Ship

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic

Musical Legend: Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to the Show Here:

You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-07-17T09_59_58-07_00

Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/

iTunes Link: Listen Here

You can contact Jack or Joe for topic suggestions or to be a guest HERE

You can download the podomatic app for your phone here:

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—–

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag

Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic

Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP?  Click HERE.

 

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Hip To Be … –.- ..- .- .-. .

10 Jul Featured Image -- 6754

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

Sometimes ironic, sometimes retro-chic, hipsters are the compass that points our culture toward cool.

The horn rimmed glasses and skinny jeans have almost become the uniform of the mainstream, wanna-be hipster. Anyone wearing these is usually a poseur to the Nth degree or a model in a J. Crew ad. To keep themselves one step ahead of what society holds in high regard, hipsters often look towards the past to determine what is ironically fashionable.

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This is how a hipster hitches a ride to Boston.

Today’s hipsters have traded in their iPods for old school cassette players. 52″ flat screen televisions are disdained in exchange for a 1972 Zenith Chromacolor. The Blu-Ray movies so sought after by others take a backseat to a thrift store-rescued VCR. The Wii? That’s been tossed aside for an Atari 2600. At a certain point, though, even these items become cool again to the mainstream. As a result, hipsters must find something else…

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Helpful tips for Southerners dealing with Fornicating Locust

12 Jun Featured Image -- 6741

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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It’s June 2014, and that means a new generation of newlyweds in The South will be racing past family and friends while being showered with frantically mating cicadas. What are cicadas you ask? Think really big crickets.

No, think grasshoppers on steroids.

Actually, think “Hopper” from A Bug’s Life.

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For those who haven’t experienced cicada season, it’s easy to imagine if you keep one thing in mind: For six weeks, wherever you go and whatever you do, you will be doing it within the general vicinity of at least 200 cicadas, each of which will be participating in something generally reserved for late night cable. To make matters worse, thousands of male cicadas will be attempting to attract disinterested females by repeating a series of deafening mating calls, which entomologists, after years of research, have finally translated to mean: hey baby hey baby hey baby…

Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey Baby! Hey…

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The Overly Attached Girlfriend Meme Turns Two Years Old!

11 Jun Featured Image -- 6726

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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Overly Attached Girlfriend is a meme featuring a screen capture from a webcam. The picture is of a girl and various captions portraying her in the stereotype of an overprotective and clingy girlfriend.

On June 6th, 2012, (the 68th anniversary of the D-Day landings in Normandy) YouTuber wzr0713 uploaded a webcam video titled “JB Fanvideo” in which she performs a parody rendition of Justin Bieber’s latest single Boyfriend with personalized lyrics. At the time of the writing of this article, that video has 16.8 million views on YouTube. Please, go watch it, it’s about as entertaining as watching paint dry.

The next day (June 7th) it was all over Reddit and another annoying meme was born!

Once again the internet in a spectacular example of mirroring the lack of originality in Hollywood, the Overly Attached Girlfriend meme is nearly identical to an older meme series known as

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Daytime TV: Stealing Your IQ Points One Channel At A Time

5 Jun Featured Image -- 6718

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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Occasionally I leave the office and eat my lunch at home. I get to spend an hour away from the LAP compound (where the microwave still hasn’t been repaired since Chowderhead’s famous Chef Boyardee incident) [Editor's Note:  it was a faulty fuse], plus I get the added bonus of catching a few minutes of daytime TV.

Sometimes though, no matter how many times you change the channel, daytime TV makes you stupider by the minute.

tooth– POWER ON –

“…and our guest today is 20-year-old Janet, a mother of seven, who is here today to confront her cheating boyfriend and ask him once and for all if he has…”

– CLICK –

“…poor credit, no credit, or bad credit? No problem! Come on down to Wacky Jerry’s Used Car Emporium and we’ll get you on the road! Visit Wacky Jerry, and before you know it you’ll be…”

– CLICK…

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The Over The Line Show with Special Guest: Kevin Spacey

4 Jun Featured Image -- 6711

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

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On Today’s Show:

Special Guest: Actor Kevin Spacey from House of Cards:

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Jack and Joe talk to Kevin Spacey who rose to stardom in the ’90s with the films; The Usual Suspects (1995) and Se7en (1995). Other notable films include LA Confidential, American Beauty, Beyond the Sea, and Superman Returns. In addition to film acting, Spacey also is a film producer, director and writer, and a well-respected theater actor. Most recently, you can catch him on the hit Netflix show; House Of Cards.

Kevin talks about his recent documentary, Now In The Wings of A World Stage which chronicles the international tour of Shakespeare’s Richard III in 12 cities, over three continents in just 10 months time,

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Listen to the Show Here:

You can download the episode or listen on the Podomatic App here: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/entry/2014-05-29T16_19_19-07_00

Official PauseCast Page: http://longawkwardpause.podomatic.com/

iTunes Link: Listen Here

You can contact Jack or Joe for topic…

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LAP Investigates: The Ice Cream Shoppe

31 May Featured Image -- 6705

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

issue #7

Here at LAP, we keep our finger on the pulse of all the latest controversies and sources of political discord. Perhaps the most significant and polarizing issue facing the modern world has come to a head recently, and in an unprecedented exposé, we’ve gone undercover at the very source of the conflict—no, not Ukraine—the local ice cream shoppe.

One weekend afternoon, when the weather was forecasted to be hot, but not so hot you want to take off all of your clothes and sit in the air conditioning like the Coca-Cola bear in his trailer on a fifteen minute break, LAP correspondents donned jorts and a tee shirt they didn’t care about spilling ice cream on and breached the ice cream shoppe fortress to get a first-hand look at cone prejudice.

Cone prejudice has been taking place in neighborhood ice cream parlors for decades, but with the pro-bowl pundits staking…

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