Shaking hands is a greeting ritual that dates back to the early Neolithic period, and it was somewhere around that time when people decided it was more appropriate than licking someone’s face to acknowledge a clan member.
This custom along with its many variations have lead to some confusion since the advent of Instagram, but fret not! We have officially been commissioned by The International Handshaking and Other Hand Gestures Council to construct a brief quick-reference guide to hand-humping. It was a free gig and we take what we can get.
Below you’ll find a list of handshakes that are internationally recognized by the council.
Please print this list and keep it for future reference in case you meet people not on Facebook.
1. The Double Embrace
This variation is a particularly intimate one which involves a two-handed grab, or embrace by one of the hand-shaking parties.
See below:
It’s…
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Christopher De Voss 
I still shake hands but almost prefer not to anymore because of my bad skin condition. Years of PD-680 cleaning solvent in the military leaves them cracked and bleeding all the time, especially when the seasons change. I hate bleeding all over someone trying to be friendly and/or sincere. Oh well…
That would be bad. Thank you for your service.