The Combining Of The Two World’s Greatest Words

22 Feb

We are about to combine the two greatest words in the English language. These two words are so very polar in there uses, that I am a little afraid that once we do combine them, the entire Universe will collapse on itself.

But what makes these two words so special to begin with? Well, one of the words you can put in front of any other word in the English language (or any other language for that matter) and it becomes the ultimate insult. Likewise, the other word you can put behind any other word in the English language and it becomes the ultimate compliment.

These two words are the pinnacle Ying Yang of American vocabulary.

First up…the dark side:


Douche

The real meaning of this word is: The rinsing of any body cavity. However, couple this in front of any other word (or phrase for that matter) and you the ultimate insult.

For example:

Douchebag
Douche Canoe
Douchey 
Douche Pot Pie
Douche Pounder With Cheese
Douche Quake
Doucheprechaun
Douchepticon
Douche Rocket
Douchesaurus Rex
Douche Sauce
Doucheoroni
Douchey Douche (<- combined with itself for the ultimate in insult power)
The Douche Master
Double Douche Pounder With Cheese
 

On the opposite side of the coin we have the total compliment word. Put this word behind any other word in the English language and Voilà! the ultimate in recognition and/or awesomeness.

Ninja

And we all know a Ninja is a covert agent or mercenary of feudal Japan specializing in unorthodox arts of war.

Examples of Ninja salutations:

Birthday Ninja
Ass Ninja
Sex Ninja
Dirt Bike Ninja
Blonde Ninja
Drink Ninja
Dart Ninja
Bed Ninja
Apple Ninja
Google Ninja
Driving Ninja
Frog Ninja
Guitar Ninja
Guitar Hero Ninja
 

Now watch as we use the same everyday words to formulate either an insult or a compliment, just so you understand the power of these words.

Douche Pirate – Pirate Ninja
Douche Monkey – Monkey Ninja
Douchey Beer Dude – Beer Dude Ninja
Douche Driver – Driving Ninja
 

Much like the English language, there are a few rare cases where the rules don’t always apply.

For example:

Lord of the Douche – Ninja of the Dance
Night of a 1000 Douches – Night of a 1000 Ninjas
Hey Douchebag! – Hey, Ninja! (The coma is the key.)
 

Now for ultimate pairing, as if you didn’t already figure it out several hours ago. Word of warning: I am not responsible for any changes in the cosmic universe if you choose to say and/or use this word.

Douche Ninja

BOOM!

Now go call your neighbor a Douche Ninja.


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6 Responses to “The Combining Of The Two World’s Greatest Words”

  1. RFL February 22, 2012 at 9:22 PM #

    I don’t even think I can pick a favorite in all of these new douche terms! funny post 🙂

    • chrisdevoss February 22, 2012 at 11:28 PM #

      I thought it was a douchy post. Thanks for reading.

  2. emmahevezi February 26, 2012 at 3:19 PM #

    what a ninja writer 🙂 haha
    love it
    xx

    • chrisdevoss February 26, 2012 at 11:23 PM #

      Thank you, I try not to be a douche ninja.

      • emmahevezi February 27, 2012 at 4:00 AM #

        I’m sure you aren’t a douche ninja 🙂 to be a douche you have to wrongly use the word ninja.. SO from my powers of deduction i have established you are in fact most definitely not a douche 🙂 x

      • chrisdevoss February 27, 2012 at 11:35 PM #

        Thanks! 🙂

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