If Blogging Invaded TV Shows

Local newspaper reporter Susie Stackedhouse knows how it feels to be an outcast. “Cursed” with the ability to post three times a day, she starts a blog about vampires and vampire culture. When  vampire/blogger Burt Romperton, a handsome 173-year-old living vamp comes to town, Susie is drawn into a series of journal blogs surrounding Burt’s mysterious penchant for only posting at night. Add in a blogging werewolf, several video blogging fairies, and a Tumblr addict shapeshifter, and Susie’s world will never be the same again.

The Blogging Dead tells the story of the months and years that follow after the internet is destroyed. A group of bloggers, led by a ranter blogger, Dick Grimey, travel in search of a new internet connection. Along the way they encounter dangerous groups of people with no internet…and nothing to do. This new people just stumble aimlessly around, lost and growling, looking for something…The group must survive these internet-less zombies…and each other…

“Blogging Bad” follows protagonist Willy Whipple, a copyright editor who lives in New Mexico with his wife  and teenage son who has dyslexia. Whipple is diagnosed with Stage 12 cancer and given a prognosis of two months left to live. With a new sense of fearlessness based on his medical prognosis, and a desire to secure his family’s financial security, Whipple chooses to enter a dangerous world of blogging with Amazon Advertisers to help pay the bills. The series explores how a copyright editor such as Whipple releases a typical How-To blogger from the daily care free post-whenever-the-wind-blows-world and follows his transformation into corporate spokesperson.

The show revolves around the conflicted world of Dude Dabbler, the biggest blogger in the business, and his co-writers. As Dude makes the decisions on which articles to post, he struggles to stay a step ahead of the rapidly changing social media fickle times and the young bloggers who just want to post boob pictures nipping at his heels.

Summers with kids out of school seem to span decades. Winters can last a lifetime. And the struggle for the Blogging Throne has begun. It will stretch from the south, where budding recipe bloggers think they should publish a cookbook; to the vast and savage eastern lands filled with fashion bloggers; all the way to the frozen north. Sex Bloggers, Ranters, Mommy Bloggers, Travel Bloggers, Reviewers, …all will play the “Game of Blogs.”

For Sammy and Rudolph, the awkwardness of being the new bloggers is made worse by the fact that their dad has taken a job as the High School Journalism teacher. The school is one big culture shock for Sammy, a sweet and friendly blogger with a passion for cutting and pasting google images, and Rudolph, a wiz at blogging lists, and who was adopted by the Wilton family after they took him in as a foster child. Sammy and Rudolph have a close sibling relationship, which they’ll need to help them cope with all the teen bloggers, including Naomi, who doesn’t use her real name on her blog; Erik, a popular video game reviewer; David, an aspiring blog journalist who heads up the school’s stamp collecting club; and Goldy, a rebel who produces and stars in a YouTube-type video series. The Wilton family has just begun to realize how much their lives are about to be published.

Protected: Not Really A Writer Pt Two

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Canceled Posts For This Week

Editor’s note: It is with much delight that I will have to cancel some of this week’s posts by the following staff writer’s:

Blogger: Toodles and Muffin
Title: Choosing Your Toddler’s Toys By Race
Editor’s Comments: Borderline offensive. I am afraid if we run this article not only will we lose followers, but will be sued by every minority on the planet. Also I don’t believe that Hindu One Legged Dwarfs is a niche that would require six paragraphs of specialized toy options, nor do I believe any of those toys actually exist.

Blogger: Cooking With Kitty Kitty Kat Kat
Title: Strawberry Pop Tart Crusted Steak With Blueberry Waffle Shrimp Pasta
Editor’s Comments: I understand the need to be creative and different, especially with as many recipe/cooking blogs there are, but fusing dinner and breakfast like this is not only a crime against humanity, but illegal in all the states in the central time zone. Besides sounding totally unappetizing, the wine pairing of Prune Juice Chardonnay makes me a little queezy.

Blogger: The Angry Peanut Farmer
Title: I’m Angry About Peanuts
Editor’s Comments: This is the tenth article on angry Peanut Farming. This blog has 5 followers and I’m pretty sure 3 of them are not even real, but are actually minor characters from the old Bugs Bunny Show. I actually recommending dissolving this blog and finding a new angry ranter. You know, someone who is angry about missing socks, red lights, and Thursday Night Football.

Blogger: Christopher De Voss (The Zombie Journals)
Title: Interviews From The Mime Convention
Editor’s Comments: I get it. Handing in 14 blank pages because you interviewed mimes may seem funny, but is unpublishable…and lazy. Your about 10 seconds away from joining the Angry Peanut Farmer.

Blogger: Life With Grandma’s New Hip Replacement
Title: Cute Adult Diaper Stories
Editor’s Comments: Didn’t read it. Not going to read it. Not going to approve it for publishing. I would actually like a family Blogger on staff under the age of 80…and with an actual family.

Blogger: Single And Lovin’ It!
Title: Just Knock On My Door, If You’re Breathing I’ll Marry You
Editor’s Comments: I think your missing the point of writing a woman’s single column with this one here. I realize, through your resent posts: My Eggs Are Dropping, Someone, Anyone, Please Fertilize Me and Anyone Know If There Is A Male Order Husband Service, Preferably One Where They Don’t Know English At All; that you might be a tad over the single life. However, this post was unreadable and writing 76 frowny faces does not really count as writing at all. 😦

I expect better next week.

What WordPress Recommends I Read Pt 1:

I was combing WordPress looking for some new stuff to read. I usually hit the humor section because…hey I like to laugh. I don’t know if your into that, but that’s cool, we are have are thing man. When suddenly WordPress decided to make some suggestions of stuff that I might like to read.

Thanks WordPress, that’s really cool of you, except….you used the thing I hate most:

Robots.

I am not talking about those big shiny metal things that are suppose to do our housework for us and make our lives easier, then take over the world and either in-slave us until we invent time travel or keep us as pets in pod like things while inventing a reality we think is real…yet is not! Take the blue pill dammit!

I am talking about computer programs that look for key words in things and then make suggestions off of these words. Twitter has robots on it. Sometimes I like to try to see how many robot responses I can get by just Tweeting random words. If you have a Twitter account, and you should, try tweeting the words: Call Of Duty, and you will see what I mean.

In building my reading list below, the robots took key words from my posts. It looks like from the titles of my posts, but I’m not quite sure. It made for a very interesting reading list.

Posts I Like  – Thanks WordPress for suggesting I read about things I like, because like an idiot I was reading about things I don’t like! Such as: lugnut wrenches, high school required reading assignments, and Ed Asner’s biography. I was getting no enjoyment from reading at all. Now, thanks to WordPress I read about the things that interest me. (This almost sounds like an infomercial.)

P2s – I’m not sure what this is…but I’m sure what whatever it is, it’s very important…more important than P1s.

<Toddlers – I have written about my toddler. I may want to read about other people’s toddlers, but I don’t want to read about less than toddlers. I might want to read about greater than toddlers, or algebraic toddlers, but less than toddlers do not interest me at all. You know…they are less than a toddler. Who wants to read about that? Wrong again WordPress robot!

// True + – //False –

4 Year Old – That is the age of my toddler a few months back. Now she is five. Keep up WordPress robot. You were at the birthday party. You ate four pieces of cake you pig!

Advil – Trying to rack my brain if I ever wrote about Advil, but it’s giving me a headache.

Africa – Now there is a fun place! Can’t see myself writing about, although I read a great book once called: The Hot Zone about diseases in Africa.

Aliens – Love aliens…the kind from outer space, not the kind from other countries.

Apps – I’m addicted to apps. Amazon.com gives a free paid app away everyday if you have an Android phone.

Back Pain – I have back pain, but I don’t ever remember writing about it, nor do I want to read about it.

Bacon – If you don’t write about bacon at least once, your blog is not worth reading.

Bad Dad – That’s me. I only had children so that I could legally mentally torture them. I could go to jail if I did that to someone else’s children.

Bad Teeth – Don’t think I would want to read about anyone’s bad teeth. That would not fall under Posts I Like.

Barney The Dinosaur – Although a hero to us all, Barney scares me. Luckily I only had one child out of four into Barney, and I still tease him to this day about it. You know who you are teenager!

Bears – I wrote about Zombie Bears once, however Robert Kirkman (Walking Dead) said there could not be zombie animals. I disagree, animals catch viruses too.

Beatles – I heard Ringo is a fan of my blog. 

Bigfoot – Hide and Seek Champion Of The World

Cable Tv – If I choose to pursue this topic, I’m sure every blog will be about how it’s over-priced and under-serviced, including the Cable TV company’s own blog. No thanks.

Chant – Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read. Bet that would be a fun read…

Chap-stick – Another exciting suggestion. Let’s see what could we say about chap-stick? It’s round, you’ll lose it before you finish it, it doesn’t fix video games like YouTube says it does…

Chicken – My favorite subject…how did you know? I talk and read about chickens all the time. I’m like chicken this and chicken that…I’m plucky like that.

Chicken Nuggets – These are like crack cocaine to Toddlers.

Children – Got ’em. Too many of them. Don’t want to read about them. I don’t even read what I write about my own.

Chuck Berry – All I know of this dude is that he wrote a song called: My Ding-A-Ling. And really that’s all you ever need to know of Chuck Berry.

I have more, but I’m going to save them for another day.