The Seven Year Old Learns To Text

The seven year loves to text. She texts from her ipod. She is still learning to read and write. (Like her Daddy.) Her best texts always come when she is upstairs and supposed to be sleeping.

Yes, I allow her to fall asleep to the TV. The frowny face is like the Bat Signal to something drastically wrong. In this case the TV was merely on the wrong channel, thus not allowing the ever present Disney Channel to lullaby her to sleep.

She got in trouble and was sent to her room. The modern parent texts her child when the punishment is over. I’m not sure what the double J is suppose to represent, and I’m not sure why I got a frowny face after I said she could come out. I should have gotten multiple happy faces. If this kid is going to make it in this modern age, she better step it up!

My daughter has invented a new emoticon the winky frown.It cracks me up every time I see it. At the end she is asking for her stuffed bear, Duffy. ;(

The master of the winky frown strikes again. ;(

She is very inventive with her emoticons. I like the second to the last one. I call it the Fu Man Chu. :(-

Awwww! What a good kid! No J, thacker you!

Predictive Text Story

Predictive text makes me laugh. I chuckle a little each time I text someone with what the phone seems to think I want to write. So I thought it would be fun to rewrite a story using the predictive text that the phone would like me to use.

Predictive Text Version:

Two rabbits were walking through the first, evern though rabbis don’t really walk…they story of hop walk…but I wanted to paint the picture that these rabbis we’re more out for a geyeiit sterol, a opposed yo heading windermere purposeful, like a business merging out a carryout bay opening.

Rube first rabbit turned to the serving fanboy and said, “This is boring. I really don’t feel like walking for leisure…evern though the sun is shinning, nothing our faces, warming our backsides….evern though the breeze is mighty and cool, and the broom is musical and refreshing…and evern though the trees are proving us shade and french clean oxygen. We have just done this so many rines before. I wish we has a businesses meeting our carryout bar opening yo go too.”

The second rabbit reunited to the first rabbit and said, “I didn’t know you spoke English…”

No, no that is not weighty. Leys try that again.The second rabbit turned to the fittest fanboy and said, “Leys go to the syrup club…”

No…leys try that again.

The second rabbit turned to the first tannoy and said, “Why don’t you go get vent you dumb ads. We are rabbits. This is what we do. We are part of nature. Screw the bishops and bustle of the big court life. Screw teases and death and inflation and debt ceilings and smart nutmeg children. Screw divorce and genocide and am radio. This is the life man. Do you know how hadn’t cripple world paddled south us right note?”

The second rabbit pipped a little, did that cure little mouth chewing thing rabbis do, gabe the first fanboy the finder, and went off to find somber rabbit bane who wanted to get lightly.

The End.

 

Original Version :

Two rabbits were walking through the forest, even though rabbits don’t really walk…they sort of hop walk…but I wanted to paint the picture that these rabbits were more out for a leisurely  stroll, as opposed to heading somewhere purposeful, like a business meeting or a carrot bar opening.

The first rabbit turned to the second rabbit and said, “This is boring. I really don’t feel like walking for leisure…even though the sun is shining, hitting our faces, warming our backsides…even though the breeze is light and cool, and the brook is musical and refreshing…and even though the trees are providing us shade and fresh clean oxygen. We have just done this so many times before. I wish we had a business meeting or carrot bar opening to go too.”

The second rabbit turned to the first rabbit and said, “I didn’t know you spoke English…”

No, no that is not right. Let’s try that again.

The second rabbit turned to the first rabbit and said, “Let’s go to the strip club…”

No…let’s try that again.

The second rabbit turned to the first rabbit and said, “Why don’t you go get bent you dumb ass. We are rabbits. This is what we do. We are part of nature. Screw the hustle and bustle of the big city life. Screw taxes and death and inflation and debt ceilings and smart mouthed children. Screw divorce and genocide and AM radio. This is the life man. Do you know how many people would trade places with us right now?”

The second rabbit pooped a little, did that cute little mouth chewing thing that rabbits do, gave the first rabbit the finger, and went off to find some rabbit babe who wanted to get lucky.

The End.