I’m Sorry (For No Reason)

I’m sorry…

I’m sorry if the font on this blog is not good enough for you!

I’m sorry if sonetimes I misspell words, or, use, too, many, commas…

Or my sentence structure hard is to read!

I’m sorry if sometimes I use bold headers in inappropriate places.

I’m sorry if my socks don’t match!

I’m sorry if you don’t like the fact that I call my butt a bum and only British people generally do that!

I’m sorry if you find my jokes unfunny, or my Twitter/Facebook statuses unfunny. (I would include Google+, but I’m sorry, no one uses that.)

I’m sorry I don’t have a third nipple! All you high brow third nipple people can go have a dance party for all I care!

I’m sorry I’m using I’m sorry in this post a lot! I would use a synonym but that would require opening a new tab on the browser, and looking up one. I’m sorry, but I’m laying on my side while writing this, and that would require sitting up!

I’m sorry my taste in music makes you itchy.

I’m sorry that you disagree that Letters and Numbers should not be mixed together and therefor Algebra should be banned from the planet. Call me colonial purist.

I’m sorry you didn’t show me your boobs when I asked you too, and now you feel awkward about approaching me to ask me if it’s okay to show them now. Yes, it’s okay.

Speaking of awkward,                         I’m sorry for the awkward space in this sentence.

I’m srry yu disagree with my decisin t drp  a certain vwel ut f this sentence, thus rendering it hard to read. There are places where everyne uses every vwel in the English language, all the time.  Maybe yu shuld stick t thse places.

I’m sorry I’m not the poster child for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I will sympathize with yours, but I can not represent you in Congress.

I’m sorry you don’t find it funny when I replace words in songs with ‘Fart’ or ‘Penis’. If that makes my core audience consist of mostly boys ages 9 to 14, then so be it. I’m sorry but ‘Fart In The Wind’, ‘Penisrazzi’, and ‘I Left My Fart In San Francisco’ is funny!

I’m sorry there is 🙂 a smily face in the middle of this sentence.

I’m sorry I made this picture:

I’m not sorry I made this picture: