Tag Archives: sharknado

My Simplistic Review of Sharknado

14 Jul

Take a tornado…

Add sharks…

Inside of the tornado mind you…

And you have Sharknado!

It’s another one of Syfy channels, Oh-So-Bad-They-Have-To-Be-Watched movies following in the footsteps of such great classics:

Chupacabra Vs. The Almo
Flying Monkeys
12 Disasters of Christmas
Aladdin And The Death Lamp
Arachnoquake
Jersey Shore Shark Attack
Piranhaconda
Mega Python Vs Gatoroid
Sharktopus
 

Those are 100%  honest to goodness real movies.

To start the movie off, after surfing for a millisecond Ian Ziering, of 90120 fame, has to warn people that the waters have become shark infested. No one listens, of course as the camera pans back and forth across a nice bikini clad bottom.  Then a shark bites his buddy on a jet ski, followed by a huge rain storm. During the storm the sharks are picked up out of the water and deposited into a nearby restaurant on the pier.

Some creative shark kills during the shark filled restaurant scene:

Pool stick through a shark’s head.
Bar stool to shark’s jaw.
Randomly stored explosive canister jammed into shark’s mouth and blown up.
Broken shark filled Ferris Wheel rolls off the hinges, chases everyone down the boardwalk, and finally crashes into a hotel.

Now it’s storming even harder and the coastal town is flooding. As the waters rise the streets become populated with all types of sharks.

Hammerhead Sharks…
Great White Sharks…
Mortgage Lenders…
 

Ian warns some stranded motorists of the shark filled streets, but nobody is listening to him today. They all get chomped into pieces by the never satisfied fishes. I think they were waiting on Luke Perry for confirmation. One of my favorite special effects is when they needed to drive through some waves to escape to higher ground and I swear they filmed someone flicking a hot wheel with their finger to achieve this dramatic shot.

I won’t give away the whole movie but here are some key moments to look forward to when you watch it with your loved ones:

Sharks being blown out of street manholes
Tara Reid’s bad acting
Trying to pull a guy from a Shark’s mouth by his feet
Sharks swimming in a living room
Shark period jokes
Completely flooded shark filled house…except the driveway where the escape car is sitting 
Ian stopping the car a lot to try to save random strangers and most of them not listening
Shark eating through the roof of a moving car
Random decapitated Shark heads in the street
An Australian with no Australian accent whats-so-ever, except he does say, “Mate” every time he opens his mouth
MacGuyver wheelbarrow weapons
Flying a helicopter through a Sharknado
Electrified Sharks 
Blowing up the Senior Citizen’s Shark infested pool
Sharks attacking a helicopter while in the air
Shark crashing through a billboard
Ian saying, “The waters are rising!” a lot
Chainsawing yourself out of a Shark while rescuing a girl from inside it’s belly* 
 
 
I give this movie a rating of 2988 of 3000 shark teeth.
 
*Greatest scene ever!
 
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