Protected: An Open Letter To Wil Wheaton

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How To Play Hiccup Dice

Inspired from the people who brought you Gorilla Dice.

Number of Players: 1 – 8

Ages 0 – Infinity

 

Contents of Box:

6 Official Hiccup Dice

8 Official Hiccup Sticks

8 Water Glasses

8 Spit Towels

8 Score Pads

1 Over-size Official Hiccup Dice Mustache

1 Square Official Hiccup Dice Arena 

 

Setup:

Assemble the Official Hiccup Dice Arena 

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Give each player a Official Hiccup Stick, a Water Glass, and a Spit Towel.

Official Hiccup Dice and Over-size Official Hiccup Dice Mustache go next to the Official Hiccup Arena.

Roll to see who goes first. High roll wins unless a six is rolled. Sixes don’t count. We tried to make a five sided dice, but it wouldn’t roll properly and cut the inside of our test panel’s cheeks. Once the first player has been determined, play goes clockwise, skipping every other person or gender.

Object:

Be the first player to roll a Hiccup (6 dice of the same number) and a Belch (5 dice in ascending order)

On each turn:

Player puts all the Official Hiccup Dice in their mouth. Tumble Official Hiccup Dice like you would be swishing mouthwash. Then spit in the Official Hiccup Arena. You get three tries to roll 6 dice of the same number or 5 dice in ascending order. You may leave the dice you need in the Official Hiccup Arena.

If you roll 3 sixes at any point, on your next “roll” you must place the Official Hiccup Stick in your mouth. Continue to roll with the Official Hiccup Stick in your mouth. If you roll 4 sixes on any given turn, you must place the Official Hiccup Stick in your mouth and  drink 1/4 cup of water from the Water Glass before “rolling” your next turn. If you “roll” five or six sixes, you have rolled a “Harding” and must wear the Over-size Official Hiccup Dice Mustache until the next person rolls a “Harding.”

Use the Spit Towel to wipe the Official Hiccup Dice off before passing to another player.

Alternate Avanced Rules:

1) The Person wearing the mustache can not win and must get rid of it before declaring him or herself the winner.

2) If you laugh with the Official Hiccup Stick in your mouth, the first person to call a LaLa can steal your turn.

3) You get one extra dice roll for playing the game while on top of a donkey.

4) Players have to exchange one article of clothing every time a two is rolled.

5) Anyone named Chuck is not allowed to play.

Protected: Behind The Scenes: The Making Of: The Picnic Lovers Association Tennessee Edition

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Reblog Thursday Pt 16

Let’s Party, Fiesta…come on and sing this song…Come check out the Brother Jon…

I think that’s how the song goes…Happy Reblog Thursday!

Protected: Not Really A Writer Pt Two

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Protected: Some Birthday Wishes From The Internet

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Protected: The Composer Of Deck The Halls Comes Clean

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Protected: Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

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The Not-So Magic Genie

Would you believe I found a magic lamp?

I did.

It looked like a stereotypical magic lamp…short and squat, long curly handle, and that snaky s-curve spout in the front.

So…….I rubbed it.

And rubbed it.

And spit-shined it.

And rubbed it between my legs…

Which was a bad idea, it looked like I was humping a snake that had just digested a rat…

So instead I rubbed it using my feet…

Then under the armpit…

Which seemed to do the trick because  suddenly a small puff of smoke coughed out of the spout, followed by another small puff, followed by a long billowy stream. This was followed by some small sparkler type explosions, and a disco ball type circling blinding light, and ending with an apparition of The Commodores singing, “Brick House”.

When the smoke, lights, and music cleared, a floating image appeared. It looked like a cross between the genie from Disney’s Aladdin and Elijah Wood as Frodo.

“I am the Genie of the Lamp,” he boomed just like all the Genie’s boom when they emerge from lamps. Wouldn’t it be funny if Genies lived in teapots. Then they would say, “I am the Genie of the Teapot!” Or better yet, what if we updated the whole Genie thing and they lived in USB Drives, “I am the Genie of this 40 gig USB Drive!”

Anyway, the Genie continued,

“I will grant you one wish…”

“Hey!” I interrupted. “I thought it was three! What happened to three??!”

The Genie smirked. “It’s been cut back to one. There is a lot that has changed in the Genie world. We are unionized, less wishes, less hours, better health insurance. The government came in and gave us a whole new set of rules and regulations. In some respects it sucks to you the Genie consumer, but it has been most beneficial to us, the Genie laborers.”

“Oh,” I say.

The Genie crosses his arms in typical genie style. “You should know all the yada yada, but I’m required to say it anyway…except now there is a whole slew of new rules…so I’ll just go over the basics. If something comes up foul, I’ll let you know. Sooooo….no wishing for more wishes, no bringing anyone back from the dead, and no making anyone fall in love. Got it?”

“Got it! I wish for a billion dollars!”

The Genie frowns, “Ok, I should have known that was coming. That’s…um…one of the new rules. No money. Throws countries into financial depression. All of this sudden money flooding the market with no gold to back it up kind of thing. I can’t grant you anything over 100 dollars without an IRS agent present…with an IRS agent present…no more than 2000 dollars.”

“Gee,” I scratch my head. “That’s not really going to do much. How about a new Ferrari?”

The Genie smiles. “No problem. I do need proof of insurance, import tags, and registration.”

“I wouldn’t get all that included?” I ask.

“No, you would need to wish for that.”

“I wish for that, then,” I say.

The Genie laughs and says, “You only have one wish, remember?”

“Damn you!” I say and shake my fist. “Ok, then….I wish for an elephant!”

Genie shakes his head. “Anything that requires a permit is out, such as elephants, fishing boats, buildings, entire Broadway show productions, strippers, farmer’s markets, etc.”

“People wish for farmer’s markets?” I ask.

“People wish for all sorts of things. Most of which I can’t grant anymore.”

“How about toys?” I ask.

“Copyright laws.”

“Food?”

“Health code laws.”

“Naked women?”

“City code laws.”

“What kind of wish can you grant?!” I scream.

The Genie pauses. “I can grant you one origami wish.”

“An origami wish?” I sputter. “You mean the ancient art of Japanese paper folding?”

“Yes!” The Genie says triumphantly.

“Do I need to supply the paper?” ask I.

“Yes!” The Genie says triumphantly.

I find a piece of paper and the next thing I know, after a huge cloud of smoke and quite possibly some grape Kool-Aid powder thrown in, the Genie disappears and I am left with this:

Gee, thanks!

Facebook Friday Pt 4

Click on them if you can’t read them…For some reason these are not displaying very big. I do apologize. I swear I’m not trying to strain your eyeballs…I would never do that. I can’t even watch a Visine without throwing up. To be honest, I’m not sure what that has to do with anything.

The one I crossed out was beyond stupid. And FYI, in case you didn’t know… asparagus makes your pee smell.

Got my balls busted! (love it)

Side Note: On WordPress there is a widget that you can use that displays a small picture and link to any post you click the Like button on…mine is on the right hand side. I would just like to thank all the hard working WordPress community and everyone in it…

and I know I have a problem…

I’m seeking professional help.