Tag Archives: Gatorade

Sticks The Zombie

19 Sep

Article taken from The Orlando Gazette Online Edition Sept. 19, 2010

Police Officers are baffled as late last night someone has stolen the Sticks The Zombie display from the Zombie Natural Museum Traveling Show And Monster Truck Rally.

“Currently, we have no clues or evidence,” Det. James A Baker was quoted as saying. “Nor do we know why any perpetrator would want a preserved Zombie to begin with, I mean what are you going to do with it? Stick it in the yard? Put it in your living room? Have it babysit your dog? I don’t get it.”

Sticks the Zombie is one of the more famous attractions in the Traveling Museum And Monster Truck Rally, drawing some 10,000 visitors a day.

Donald Ricks, the Museum’s owner is currently unavailable for comment and is rumored to be contemplating suicide. Ricks has come under fire for “losing” his displays, one in every town for the last seven towns, and is accused of insurance fraud on said displays.

Sticks the Zombie was the Museum’s center piece, a unique and quite visual piece. Sticks, as the name implies, had several long sticks lodged in it’s stomach and back.

Sticks was acquired from a small town in Ohio, which is currently under quarantine. The zombie was recovered from the drinking supply station where it was poked into it by the town’s children with long sticks. The children never informed anyone that they killed a zombie and it had fallen into the drinking water, thus over time giving everyone in the town Zombinilla.

Zombinilla, an un-curable disease in humans, can only be attained by drinking zombie fluids. Zombinilla symptoms included coughing, sneezing, bloody diarrhea, bloody eye sockets, bloody ear drums, bloody nose bleeds, and dry mouth. Any one catching Zombinilla will eventually bleed to death and never be able to satisfy their thirst. (Although fruit punch flavored Gatorade has been rumored to slow down the symptoms.)

If you have information that may help Police Investigators, you may call anonymously at either CrimeLine or ZombieLine, rewards up to 1000 dollars, or 3 night getaways to the Holiday Inn CoCo Beach are available for any tips leading to an arrest.