My Simplistic Review Of The Simpson’s Tapped Out Help Blog With Guest Blogger Tom

Hey…it’s me…Chris. I have an obsession…besides the one most of you know about (boobs)…it’s the Simpson’s Tapped Out Game. I play it at least three times a day…everyday. I got a bunch of my friends to play it too. We huddle in corners at work furiously tapping our Simpson’s communities to earn money and pink donuts, closed off from the rest of the world like tapping Simpsons vampires…

Ok, maybe not quite like that.

That actually may have not made any sense…ignore that whole tapping Simpsons vampire thing…. 

Anyway, my friend Tom from the blog, TSTOhelp (which stands for The Simpsons Tapped Out Help) and myself are going to give you a brief overview of the game.

Chris: Welcome, Tom

Tom: Thanks for having me here. Big fan of the game huh?

Chris: I love this game! Tom, I thought it would be really cool if we role play for a minute. I’ll be Homer Simpson and you be a random Springfield person.

Tom: Uh, OK.

Chris: Just pretend we are walking down the street and you run into me, but remember I’m Homer, not Chris.

Tom: Yeah, I got the premise.  Hi Homer.

Chris: D’oh!

Tom: How are you doing today Homer?

Chris: D’oh!

Tom: Thanks Chris, that’s not really working. Why don’t I talk about the actual game instead.

Chris: D’oh!

Tom: Moving forward….Simpsons Tapped Out has become a worldwide obsession with people of all ages within a very short period of time, generating millions of dollars for EA by the mere act of telling people to tap furiously on their screens all in an attempt to create a village that outweighs everyone else’s.

Chris: Did you say millions?

Tom: Yes. It’s their number one revenue producing game right now.

Chris: Really? Does it make more money than Madden Football?

Tom: Yes, I believe it does. I don’t work for EA so I don’t have the exact figures on all their games.

Chris: Does it make more money than Bejeweled Temple Run Tetris  Solitaire?

Tom: I don’t think that’s a game. I think you just randomly mashed together some famous game names.

Chris: Maybe I did…

Tom: Continuing to move forward, the story of Tapped Out follows a highly likely scenario in which, Homer, playing on his ‘mypad’, accidentally causes a nuclear meltdown in the Springfield Powerplant and causes the Springfield we all know and love to be blown apart leaving nothing but himself and a green square of land.  With the help of Homer and the ‘giant finger’ (i.e. you), the task is the rebuild Springfield from scratch starting with the Simpson house.  Much like fellow real-time games such as FarmVille or The Sims series, Tapped out involves putting in time and patience to restructure Springfield however you see fit, erecting buildings and decorations reaps rewards such as XP and cash with characters in the mix as well (build a kwik-e-mart and get Apu etc.)

Chris: I like when Ned says, ‘Oh noooo’ when you assign him a task. Even when you tell him to go to church, he says it. Ironic.

Tom: Yes, the voices are done by the actual actors. The buildings all have unique animations when someone is in them. All in the Simpson style and look.

Chris:  I also like the Playboy Marge task where she goes around flashing the other characters.

Tom: There is no Playboy Marge task. This is a family game.

Chris: Well there should be. Hey, you want to see some funny pictures I took of the game?

Tom: Um, sure.

This is Nelson laughing at Cletus…only I was never fast enough to catch him with his finger up and pointing.

I think that’s Ned they have in the barrel. I can’t remember. I also like that Willie is more concerned with raking leaves, instead of the drowning Ned.

Ned is in double trouble here, not only is this guy beating him up in front of Burn’s mansion, but look to the left…there is a machine gun pointed at him too!

 

Tom: Those were great. All I can say is, keep practicing taking screenshots.  Thank you Chris for being extremely generous in lending me your blog for an opportunity to advertise my blog briefly; TSTOhelp It’s a relatively new daily post blog in which I provide information on The Simpsons: Tapped Out.  Walkthroughs, Building information, Charater Quests and Design tips, I take questions through my Facebook Page and through E-mail @ nam-redips15@live.co.uk – all of which I attempt to answer as soon as I get them and to the best of my ability.

I would really appreciate it if you guys could take a look (if you play the game) and share your views on the site and your experience with the game so far, I offer the chance to get involved and show me your designs and share pictures of your Springfields too!  If you don’t play the game, you really should 🙂

Chris: I love this game so much, I sometimes play while having sex.

Tom: That’s a little personal to share, don’t you think?

Chris: Sometimes I get carried away and scream, ‘Give me your pink donut!’

Tom: Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…By the way Simpson’s Tapped Out is available on iTunes and the Android Play Market, and it’s free!

Facebook Friday Pt 8 Candy Crush Edition

If you have not played Candy Crush, it’s a game much like Bejeweled where you match the pieces and clear the board. If you have not played Bejeweled, then skip this post all together.

Candy Crush is a little more addictive because there are different levels and boards to conquer unlike the endless dropping gems of Bejeweled. I wasn’t going to get suckered into playing, until I got suckered into playing.

And all was good…until Level 65 came along.

Level 65 is a dick. I must have played it like 50 times before unleashing my disdain on the Facebook community.

Hate to complain…but it makes me feel better. FYI: The dinos refers to Jurassic Park which is a game I play in between playing my favorite game at the moment, Simpson’s Tap Out.

Then my friend Kenny came along. Kenny recently broke his foot, so I’m sure he had lots of time to master this evil, evil, foul smelling game.

A lot of time apparently.

I call this taunt Kenny Crush.

If you have played this game, you will understand how much this hurts.

If you clear a lot of pieces the game says, “Sweet!” It would have been better if the Keanu Reeves of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure said it. I thought it was funny.

Candy Crush depression or Candy Cression.

Kenny actually texted me with some tips and strategies. Like; did you know if they stripes on the candies are horizontal, they will blow apart the horizontal row away and same with vertical.

With Kenny’s advice, and a few exercises where he made me grab a fly from his hand with chop sticks, I was getting closer.

Until…I did it! Which means nothing in this world, but I’m so happy yay!

 

Until I got stuck on Level 78….

 

The Finals Of The World Championship Uno Competition

Welcome to the World Championship Uno competition brought to you by CardTV.  I’m your host Philip McCray.

In this, the final round, our players will be Jonathon Applebottom in the west position, Nancy Ficklestein in the East position, George “The Butcher” Butcher in the North position, and Gary, an Orange about to turn bad in the South position. (Playing as the orange’s hands will be Uno Grand Judge, Albert Unomasterson.)

It’s been a long…tedious…some what boring to watch and moderate competition to far.

Alright, the cards have been dealt, and a yellow number 5 has been revealed to start the round. Play begins with “The Butcher”, he looks at his hand in total concentration…after many minutes of senseless debate he plays a yellow 8. The crowd claps.

Now going clockwise to Nancy Ficklestein…she immediately lays down a Draw 2. The crowd gasps. What an bold opening  move! Albert draws two cards from the top of the deck for Gary the Orange. Gary the Orange doesn’t look happy and shoots Nancy a nasty navel look! Folks, this is going to get heated.

Play resumes with Applebottom. Applebottom is a four time World Champion Skip-Bo player, and has recently decided to try his hand at Uno. Smart call as he has made it to the final table in his very first tournament. Applebottom draws a card, a lackluster first move. The crowd sighs.

As the players take a quick over-priced bottled water break, I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize to our network president Brandon Smelker for sleeping with his one and only daughter…and then cheating on her with the Head of Programming’s favorite niece…oh….and then cheating on them both with three drag queens from Newark…

If any or preferably all of them could find it in their hearts to forgive me, and possibly give me back my old assignment at the World Series Of Poker Championships, I would be up most grateful and promise to keep Mr. Happy in my pants where he belongs.

I was dumb. I was stupid. And it will never happen again. I can’t take this Uno tournament anymore! It has been the worst, most boring, 112 hours of my life! Give me back my Poker Championships…please!

Wait, I have just been handed an important update…well, I guess it is more like a promo announcement…Ladies and Gentlemen join me next week for the World Series of Cribbage…90 and up Seniors division….next Friday night…4:30 pm early….before the buffet opens…applesauce night…

Damn….sigh.

Ok, now play resumes with “The Butcher” playing a Wild Draw 4 Card….

Thumper

I don’t know, out of nowhere, I was trying to remember this drinking game we used to play in college. This game would get us in trouble a lot in the dorm rooms…not so much for getting us super drunk, but more so for just being super loud.

The best gesture I saw was putting your thumb in your mouth and blowing on it as your middle finger rises. Once you read the description below, you’ll understand.

The drinking game is called: Thumper.

Below is a description from someplace on I found it on the ‘net.

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Simple game for highly energetic people. Low buzz factor. Required supplies: people and beer.

The first thing to do is for each person to choose a hand gesture that they would like to have represent him/her during the game. Can be simple, polite, or sexually enticing, but it must be SHORT.

Everyone sits in a circle, everyone starts the game by “drumming” their hands on the table or floor or whatever the playing surface may be. During the drumming, someone says “WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GAME?” everyone responds with “THUMPER!!!” then the leader says “AND WHY DO WE PLAY THE GAME?” responded with “TO GET F*CKED UP!!”

At this point the leader performs his/her own hand gesture, immediately followed by the gesture of any other player. This player then performs his/her own gesture followed by another players, etc.. and so on. When a cue is missed or when someone responds too slowly, the “violator” must drink. This person then is the leader for the next round.

Also be creative with what is said during the drumming, it’s not limited to the above two questions. You could also call a slo-motion or high speed switch at anytime.

The game takes a lot of emotional involvement, good when played when eveyones hyper because there’s no where to go, or nothing better to do.

Game source: The (Un)Official Internet Bartender’s Guide

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Editor’s note: Strip Thumper….not as sexy as one may think.