The After Christmas Drinking Game + Bonus Cheese Rant

The After Christmas Drinking Game

Take A Drink…

…each time your kids tell you that they are bored even though they just got a bunch of new stuff from Santa Claus

…for each creative presentation of the left over Christmas ham for the next three lunch and dinners

…for each store the wife or girlfriend wants to hit to get next year’s Christmas decorations at 75% off, even though you will pack those away someplace and forget you bought them

…for every person that asks you, “So, how was your Christmas?”

…every time you have to vacuum up fallen needles from the Christmas tree as it slowly sheds itself to death in your living room

…for each fruit cake you throw away

…for each gift you find later that was hidden so well that it never made it under the Christmas tree

…for every time someone says, “This Christmas was pretty good, but next Christmas let’s…”

…for every Christmas present you didn’t really want and you re-gift it to someone else

…for every re-gift you receive

…for every time someone asks you why you weren’t at so and so’s Christmas party, when in fact the reason is you were never invited in the first place

—for every time Grandpa passes out in the lounge chair and you fear that he is actually dead

—–

Now forget all that drinking nonsense, because what I was really wondering is if all the cheese flavors of the world have been discovered. Do we have every possible cheese taste unearthed, or is there new cheese sensations yet to be discovered out there?

How do you invent a cheese flavor anyway?

I don’t know.

I really want to invent a new cheese flavor. I don’t know how to make cheese, but that’s what Google is for, right?

Maybe something smokey, or baconey, or cheeseburgerey…cheese that tastes like a cheeseburger…and then when you add the cheeseburger cheese to a cheeseburger, it tastes like a double cheeseburger.

I’ll work on it some more…

Reblog Thursday Pt 20

Hello Reblog Thursday. How are you?

Nothing says great times like Holidays, Family, and Egg Nog which is 90% Alcohol, and 10% Nog. Thank god the cavemen invented drinking games, and thanks to Cartopia you can ease your holiday woes with this version.

Cartopia

Ah the holidays, a time for sitting around the fire, singing songs and exchanging gifts. For eating ham and basking in your parent’s love, while everyone shares the joy of the season.

Yeah, well… Some people have families that aren’t quite Hallmark snapshots. As my gift to you this holiday season, I am offering a drinking game that will make things a lot more tolerable and interesting. I’m making this as generic as possible, since my family is a bit… odd when it comes to normal holiday traditions. My next few posts will be about the more unique aspects of my family’s holiday celebrations. For now, enjoy my gift to you.

Holiday Drinking Game for Dysfunctional Families

Take one drink every time:

• A family member makes a comment about why you aren’t married yet.
• A family member sneaks in a disparaging comment about your career choice.
• A family member talks…

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