Tag Archives: death metal

The Farmer In The Dell Pt One

29 Jul

The Farmer was in his dell. He was instructed to be there by a little piece of paper.

The paper simply said:

Go to the dell.
Wait for instructions.
Or Else.

Ok, thought the Farmer. I’m here. Now what? Or else what?

After about twenty minutes of nothing, the Farmer called, “Hi-Ho!…..Hi-Ho! Anybody there? Hello? Derry-o, anybody there?”

No answer. Apparently the country side of Derry was deserted today, which did not help with the mysterious note with it’s day wasting instructions.

The Farmer sat down.

Off in the distance several tiny dots appeared. As they got closer the Farmer could make out the Pastor’s wife, a small boy, a woman dressed in a nurses uniform, a cow, a dog, a cat, and a rat. Behind them were two big angry men carrying two big angry guns.

Oh my god, thought the Farmer. The Farmer had no weapons and those guys looked big…and angry.

The Farmer slipped back into the brush of the dell. He peeked out, easily concealed by the bushes.

What to do? What to do? The Farmer’s mind was racing.

The group was on the outskirts of the tree line now.

One of the men with the guns barked, “We rest here. 5 minutes.”

The humans looked exhausted. They sat down, no literally fell down where they stood. The Pastor’s wife flopped right in front of where the Farmer was hiding.

The animals huddled together, except the cow which began to graze on the grass.

The angry gun brothers put there guns against their legs and lit cigarettes.

The Farmer waited a minute then tried to get the Pastor’s wife attention.

“Psst, psst,” he hissed at her but she just sat there.

“Hey,” he tried a little louder, almost too loud, as he glanced at the men with guns.

They looked like they had begun arguing over something stupid like politics, or religion, or industrial death metal, or political religious industrial death metal. Whatever, it didn’t matter…what mattered was at some point they laid their guns on the ground. They seemed really preoccupied. Their backs were slightly turned away from where the Farmer was hiding. This was the Farmer’s chance.

In one quick ninja-like swoop, he put his hands on the Pastor’s wife’s hips and took her.

To Be Continued…