Tag Archives: cupcakes

An Uncomfortable Conversation Between A Unicorn And An Octopus

21 May

An Uncomfortable Conversation Between A Unicorn And An Octopus

So….you’re an octopus?

Yup

So…you like the ocean?

Really don’t have much of a choice do I?

Guess not. *Tee Hee.*

So…is it true you poop rainbows?

Ummm…I’m out. *Flies away*

A Second Uncomfortable Conversation Between A Unicorn And An Octopus

Show me that trick where you squirt ink out of your butt.

It doesn’t come out of my butt. And no. I only use it in defense.

That’s too bad. It’s really the only thing cool about you.

Tell you what…you poop a rainbow for me, and I’ll squirt some ink for you. Deal?

You’re gross! *Flies away*

A Third Uncomfortable Conversation Between A Unicorn And An Octopus But This Time Being Interrupted By Albert Einstein Asking For Directions To A Strip Club

Hey Octo…you don’t care if I call you Octo, do you?

I do, and say, aren’t you an imaginary animal? How can we even be having a conversation anyway?

Excuse me…anybody know how to get to Leave It To Beaver’s?

Uh…no

Hey! Aren’t you Albert Einstein?

Uh….no! *Flies Away*

The Inventor Of The Ice Cube?

15 Mar

Who put the first ice cube in a glass of water?

I’m asking because when I think of the dawn of civilization, the only people to have ice were the Eskimos.

Muckluc stacking his ice cube collection.

They probably were not icing their drinks.

The people who really needed the ice the most were the Africans.

Anybody seen a Diet Coke machine around?

The Africans were probably drinking warm to hot beverages thinking, “This sucks.”

The Eskimos were probably thinking, “There has got to be a way to turn a profit from all this free ice we have…”

So how could the Eskimos, who had no need for ice in their drinks, get together with the Africans, who desperately needed their drinks cooled?

Logistically they were too far apart to help each other.

If you don’t understand my quandary, here is a map to help explain:

See how far Ice is from Africa?

No one knows.

Not even the internet.

Of the first ice cube in a drink query this is all the information I could find:

The inventor of the refrigerator:   John Gorrie
The inventor of the rubber ice cube tray:  Lloyd Groff Copeman
The inventor of the metal ice cube tray:  Guy L. Tinkham 
And everything you ever wanted to know about Rapper/Actor: Ice Cube