Tag Archives: call of duty

Preteen Vs. Call Of Duty Pt 2

5 Sep

Bang, Bang, Machine Gun Sounds, Explosion


Some cursing, Bang, Bang…More Machine Gun Noises, Someone yelling Help!


Some weird leveling up noise, a bit of music, shotgun noise


You know you love me. You know you want to play with me for hours…I’m your best friend!

Your so frustrating! I hate you!

Shhhh! Don’t talk that way. You are almost  to the next level. You are so good to me. Listen to my helicopter noises. Whirrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllll.

Do you really think so Call of Duty? Really? I’m good?

Of course Preteen. Let’s not fight…outside the game that is…

Ha Ha Ha!

Ha Ha Ha!

The End ????

Preteen Vs. Call of Duty

27 Apr

Preteen playing Call of Duty and talking smack to his buddies:

  • Dang it! Dang! Dang!
  • Oh, I hit the python! (I don’t know what that means. I think he meant pylon, but even then, it doesn’t make much sense.)
  • Oh, and a shot gun takes him out. That’s going to hurt in the morning.
  • That must suck for that guy that tried to kill me.
  • Hey, you took out your best player, me!


Yes, grown ups. He is that squeaky voiced tween that is kicking your butt and causing you to throw your controller across the room.

Me: Why do you sit so close to the TV, Preteen?
Preteen: It’s better to see.
Me: You’re going to hurt your eyes.
Preteen: I shall be fine.
Me: Back up a little bit.
Preteen: If I do I’ll die!
Me: It will be Ok, unlike real war, you’ll come back to life.

Preteen moves chair and dies.

(Editor’s note: In the game.)

(Editor’s other note: Dad secretly snickers.)

Preteen: Thanks, Dad!
Me: The Call of Duty Vision Insurance Plan sucks. I can’t afford the glasses.
Preteen: Huh?
Me: Don’t worry about it.

Life before Playstation.

Really Bad Ode To Call Of Duty MW3

9 Nov

My really, really bad ode to Modern Warfare 3. I apologize to real poets everywhere.


Every once couple of years

A great phenomenon appears

Which makes all the males diappears

For a while


From squeaky voice seven year olds

To out of work forty year olds

Game Stop for 5 dollars will holds

The game you await


For the game that will take hours

And cause lack of showers

As you play into the wee hours

With no potty break


There will be shooting and swearing

Rejoicing and tearing

Teeth gnashing and bearing

This is called fun, yes?


For Modern Warfare 3 is here

So grab your controller and beer

Get your calendar clear

The kids dinner can wait


Forget your girlfriend or your wife

Practice stealth with the knife

This game has great shelf life

I’m almost level 3


May your lag be unnoticable

May your points be uncontrollable

May your sniper be unnoticeable

And your sick days be plenty


For Modern Warfare 3 will be the stuff of legend and lore

Until Call of Duty Modern Warfare 4