Tag Archives: breaking bad

Breaking Bad As Written By Edgar Allen Poe

29 Sep

Once upon a Sunday night, while I pondered channel surfing,
Over football, reruns, and 60 Minutes, Oh bore
In my seat, I nodded, nearly pondered a Tosh repeat
What was the answer, but a teacher dying of cancer
‘Tis can’t be entertaining,’ I muttered, ‘I will watch this one episode and nothing more.’

Ah, distinctly I was engrossed, this coward teacher host,
And his brother-in-law the DEA jerk
Whom he rode along on the meth bust, an undiscovered perk
Which sparked the idea for an empire desire
The angels name Jessie to help
Heisenberg here for evermore

At first the RV housed the cook
Tighty-whitey in the dessert, was the hook
It’s the purest of the pure, moving one rock at a time
Was not enough to pay the tough bill that the doctor’s inflict
On Heisenberg and nothing more

A finger lickin’ chicken came a knockin’
Knockin’ knockin on He Who Knocks Door
The money was flowing, as the meth was growing
Blue was the signature hue, that built the family vault
But only Flynn knew not the truth, his cereal spoon of youth
And Gus was in charge evermore

Until one fateful day, Gus was blown away
And Walt and Jessie fought, retiring to the car wash that he bought
Soon Mike was led astray, his men would get no pay
Cold, cold Todd would appear, and shoot a kid, oh dear
Causing Heisenberg to retire and nothing more

Complications would arise, much to everyone’s surprise
As Hank would die that day, and Walt would run away
Saul could not help, for his own spinoff show had been dealt
Jessie is captured and put in the ground to stay
While Todd looks like Matt Damon, evermore

Heinsberg doth Skyinsberg berate, what will be now be his fate
The show will come to a close, with Jessie and his broken nose
A Machine Gun and Ricin are the clue, graffiti on the wall in blue
All five seasons I did adore, although it probably could have ended in four

As I fear Heinsberg will be nevermore

Damn you Raven!

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Breaking Bad, Breaking Balls

11 Aug

Joe is the morning jock on one of the coolest stations in the country, CD102.1 FM. (I think…it used to be 101.1, but something happened. It’s in my hometown in Columbus, Ohio which is why I’m confused, ’cause I currently live in Florida. Anyway, it was one of the first stations to branch outside the mainstream of standard cut and dry rock and roll, and play whatever music they wanted. Enough background.)

Joe is a good guy, and has met more famous people than me*, but he is missing the mark here:

That

That Tim guy doesn’t watch the show, you can tell by the ignorant comment. Number one rule of social media, never comment on a show you have never watched. You will look stupid every time.

This...

This…

...blows up to this...Oh the irony because Game of Thrones doesn't take over the internet while it's on...except for maybe this year because it sucked.

…blows up to this…Oh the irony because Game of Thrones doesn’t take over the internet while it’s on…except for maybe this year because it sucked.

gh

Jeff, you are my favorite person I don’t know on this thread. (Joe, your still my favorite person I do know on this thread.)

I, of course, like someone who has a favorite sports team, have my Facebook timeline decked out for today:

It's my team's colors.

It’s my team’s colors.

The show resumes tonight, so if you need to get catch up:

*Which has nothing to do with this post. Just makes me jealous**.

**I’m hoping to be published again at the end of the year. I’m waiting to hear back from The Zombie Survival Crew.***

***I was supposed to meet Michael Rooker from the first time I was published with ZSC, so hopefully I can remind**** them of that if I’m chosen again for their new publication….’cause I never got to meet him. Maybe I can meet ‘Maggie’ instead…

****Although if I push the issue, they may not accept my submission***** because they may think I’m being a dick.******

*****I have to play it cool because this new publication is outside my comfort zone. So maybe I won’t push the issue until after the book hits the stores.

******I am a dick.

6 Dollar T-Shirts (dot) com

21 Dec

I’m a big fan of T-Shirts and the weirder the better…or with the word Irish on it.

Either one.

Should you find a weird T-Shirt with the word Irish on it, without a Leprechaun or the words Notre Dame, let me know…I want it.

I was looking for a Heisenberg T-Shirt, which if you don’t know who that is, shame on you! You are missing out on one of the greatest television programs in the history of television programs; Breaking Bad. It’s on Netflixs.

I came across this web site: http://www.6dollarshirts.com.

As in the title, all shirts are indeed $6, however they are kind of dicks on the shipping. I bought two shirts and the shipping was almost $7.

On an unrelated note, Christmas is coming if…you know…if you were looking for something to buy a certain T-Shirt wearing person who happens to be typing these words. (Don’t buy the Heisenberg T-Shirt, I already bought it.)

My new $6 shirt.

My new $6 shirt.

Some other good choices:

Jesus on a dinosaur. How could you go wrong?

Jesus on a dinosaur. How could you go wrong?

A Narwhale playing a Keytar. Not sure why...don't care. I need this!

A Narwhale playing a Keytar. Not sure why…don’t care. I need this!

The Oregon Trail was always a dick.

The Oregon Trail was always a dick with the dysentery.

Pink Freud...too easy? i still need this.

Pink Freud…too easy? I still want.

This is the perfect t-shirt for someone to ask you, wtf?

This is the perfect t-shirt for someone to ask you, wtf?

Poor Stormtrooper, lost his droid seeking friends...

Poor Stormtrooper, lost his droid seeking friends…

Stay Puff Marshmallow Man and Godzilla together? Genius!

Stay Puff Marshmallow Man and Godzilla together? Genius!

If you buy one for me, I will pose in the shirt for you. (Pants optional. XXL please. I’m not fat, just bad at laundry.)

Protected: Some Birthday Wishes From The Internet

23 Oct

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