Tag Archives: book

ZSC Recipe Challenge

15 Nov

The Zombie Survival Crew was looking to put together a recipe book.

Below is the actual blurb from the web site:

The ZSC is looking for original survivalist recipes. These recipes need to be easy to make over a campfire, or with no cooking at all. Utilize local fruits, vegetables, and protein—anything you’d be able to find on the run from zombies. We’re also looking for recipes which can be made ahead of time and stored for use in case of a cataclysmic emergency, both natural and undead, like jams, canned stews, etc.

I turned this in. I’m not a chef or very handy in the kitchen, so I turned in something a little different. Now keep in mind the ZSC is all about having a bag packed and ready at all times. This idea was done with that in mind.

I haven’t heard anything back, so I thought I would share my idea here:



You have been preparing yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse. You joined the Zombie Survival Crew and you have read every inch of the web site. You even have your survival go-bag packed and ready. Speaking of your go-bag, it’s pretty full, isn’t it? You’ve got your pillow, first aid kit, camping supplies, flint, manuals, flashlight, rope, tape, and whatever else came to mind…in other words, not much room for food. That means you are either going to need to hunt, forge, and/or scavenge for substance. What most people forget is that the key to good tasting food whether hunted or store bought, is good seasoning.

So after you hunt down that deer or forge for fresh carrots, before you cook them, you are going to want to season them. This is where a little preparation comes in handy. Grab several sandwich baggies and a sharpie marker to label your bags. The best thing about it, is that your seasoning bags will be compact enough to fit in your go-bag no matter how full it is.

Quick tips:

1) If you are using fresh herbs, you will need to dry them and chop them up fine before adding to your bags.
2) You don’t have to measure the herbs. Equal parts of each will do. If there are some that you like better or not so much, then you can add a touch more or a touch less. There is no wrong configuration.
3) You can use any size bag. It really depends on how much room you have in your go-bag.

Italian Seasoning Bag

A versatile seasoning that can be used on anything from meats to vegetables to even bagels and potato chips to give them a little zing.

Throw together in a bag equal parts:

garlic powder
onion salt

Seafood Seasoning Bag

Can be used on anything from fish to clams to crabs.

Throw together in a bag equal parts:

bay leaves
celery salt
ground black pepper
ground white pepper
ground ginger
crushed red pepper flakes
ground cloves
dry mustard
ground cardamom
ground allspice

Asian Seasoning Bag

Add a little kick to stir fry, noodles, and vegetables.

Throw together in a bag equal parts:

anise powder
ground pepper
ground cloves
ground fennel
sea salt

Cajun Seasoning 

The amount of Cayenne you use will determine the hotness, if you leave the cayenne out it becomes an all purpose seasoning.

Throw together in a bag equal parts:

onion powder
sea salt
garlic powder
black pepper
cayenne pepper
Some bonus treats you could keep in a baggie:
Trail Mix – any types of dried fruit, nuts, granola , chocolate or yogurt covered candies
Cereal Party Mix – any type of cereal, nuts, pretzels, bagel chips, onion powder, salt, garlic powder

Help Me Choose A Bio

29 Aug

Just recently got word that one of my zombie stories is going to make it into the up and coming 2nd  Zombie Survival Crew’s collection of short zombie stories, poems, and art.

(No title or release date yet announced.)

Yay! I’m really excited. A lot of movie/TV celebrities from the zombie/horror genre are members of/the ZSC. (Did you find that hard to read in your mind’s/voice?)

I’m very honored and it only took a bribe of $108, 6 Subway coupons, and a vintage Pearl Jam concert T-Shirt from 1995 to finally convince them to include me.

They have asked me for a short bio.

I’m not good at short bios. Or long bios. Or even staying awake while watching Bio-Dome.

I am playing around with a couple of ideas and need some opinions:

Option One:

Christopher De Voss, who resides in Orlando would do anything for money, including eating peanut butter out of a rhino’s butt…if the price was right, and the rhino was a hottie. Chris lives in his parent’s garage and sells lanyards made out of Alpaca fur to supplement his income as head fry boy at the local Fry Fry’s Waffle And Bait Shack (now open until 2 a.m.!). In his spare time he likes to write about Zombies and/or Zombies having sex.

Option Two:

Christopher De Voss currently lives in Orlando, Florida with his 3 wives and 16 children. He is the leader of the Zombie Free Society Commune. The Commune supports itself by selling Zombie Snow Globes to tourists. Mr. De Voss is currently under investigation for three counts of polygamy, 16 counts of neglect, and 4 counts of manufacturing and selling  poorly made snow globes.

Option Three:

Christopher De Voss is the pen name for the acclaimed Zombieologist Chris De Voss. Chris could not be found to actually write  a bio on, and is believed to have been dead for the last 15 years. These current writings are being released by his estate. Rumors do abound that Chris De Voss and Tupac Shakur are hold up somewhere  in an abandon Dunkin’ Donuts  in lower Philadelphia.

Option Four:

Christopher De Voss is the youngest of a set of triplets that never survived. He enjoys long walks on the beach, sunsets, pina coladas, and getting lost in the rain, he is not much into health food, he is more into champagne.

Option Five:

(Just a picture of me standing naked in a dandelion field.)


Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 4

16 Aug

My favorite book of all time. I've read it 4 times.

This pizza is dry. Oh crap, I didn't read the instructions. No wonder!

Who doesn't like free things?

Honey, why are we always out of post-it notes?