Randoms Pt 16

Is it wrong that I thought the Asian lady speaking fluent Spanish was funny?

Am I being racist to two different cultures at once?

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My starfish is shrinking. I know this sounds like a sex joke, but it’s not. It’s actually getting smaller. Poor guy! Going to feed it some miracle grow.

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They made a version of Hungry Hippos for if you only have one friend! Some kids don’t have three friends, so the old version was kind of degrading to them. Now they need to make one for children with no friends.

Awwwww!

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This was left in the breakroom at work. A banana, a rotten avocado in a baggie, and a assortment of mayo, ketchup, and relish packets. I feel like I now need to randomize my lunches more. My fruit cup and gummy bears are definitely boring compared to this!

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Anyone else going to the Swallow My Pride Convention? What? Just me and my pink toy poodle?

Weird.

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How come most animals don’t use pillows? I know you dog lovers sometimes give your pets pillows, but if you didn’t they would be just fine.

I love pillows.

I think animals would eat each less of each other if they had more pillows.

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Headless Horseman Musings

Things That Would Make A Bad Present For The Headless Horseman

Dentistry
Hat Shop
Bib
Electric Razor
Chewing Gum
Eye Shadow
Pillow

Things That Would Make A Good Present For The Headless Horseman

Pumpkin Scoop
Gift Certificate To Capes R Us
A Book Of Pumpkin Carving Patterns
Large Corks For Neck Hole (For After Pumpkin Is Thrown)

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About Me Questionnaire:

1) Name: Headless Horseman

2) Birthday: Don’t remember, I’m a ghost after all. I will guess sometime around 1612?

3) Hometown: Sleepy Hallow

4) Relationship status: Single. Looking for a good ghoul friend. Ha Ha! Still funny after all these centuries.

5) Kids: None. Kids tend to not like me because I HAVE NO HEAD!

6) Eye Color: Umm…if you haven’t noticed….I HAVE NO HEAD!

7) Hair Color: COME ON!

8) Piercings: I have been stabbed many times, but since I am a ghost….what? That’s what that means?Why would you do that to yourself? You mean on purpose? God, no! What do you think I am? A savage?

9) Tattoos: One. On my back. It says: “Give me Liberty or Give me Head”. Why are you snickering?

10) Smoke/Drink: Smoking will kill you. I know ironic. Drinks go right through me.

11) Favorite color: Black on black or orange.

12) Favorite season: Halloween

13) Genre of music: Anything by Metallica or Peter Frampton

14) 3 things you cant live without: Scaring people. Killing people. Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs at Easter.

Some Versions Of The Headless Horseman That Didn’t Quite Work:

Headless Armless Horseman

Angry Birds Headless Horseman

The Headless Chicken

Modern Day Headless Carman

Meanwhile Somewhere On The Internet Pt 13

It’s Friday, casual clothes day at work. I’m wearing a red shirt and no pants myself. Accidental intentional theme this week.