Tag Archives: Africa

The Inventor Of The Ice Cube?

15 Mar

Who put the first ice cube in a glass of water?

I’m asking because when I think of the dawn of civilization, the only people to have ice were the Eskimos.

Muckluc stacking his ice cube collection.

They probably were not icing their drinks.

The people who really needed the ice the most were the Africans.

Anybody seen a Diet Coke machine around?

The Africans were probably drinking warm to hot beverages thinking, “This sucks.”

The Eskimos were probably thinking, “There has got to be a way to turn a profit from all this free ice we have…”

So how could the Eskimos, who had no need for ice in their drinks, get together with the Africans, who desperately needed their drinks cooled?

Logistically they were too far apart to help each other.

If you don’t understand my quandary, here is a map to help explain:

See how far Ice is from Africa?

No one knows.

Not even the internet.

Of the first ice cube in a drink query this is all the information I could find:

The inventor of the refrigerator:   John Gorrie
The inventor of the rubber ice cube tray:  Lloyd Groff Copeman
The inventor of the metal ice cube tray:  Guy L. Tinkham 
And everything you ever wanted to know about Rapper/Actor: Ice Cube

Zombie Sniper

28 Jul

Tom had been called out to deal with the zombie.

Tom was a zombie sniper by trade which had become very lucrative over the last few years. Zombie snipers were in low demand during the war because let’s face it…a sniper is useless against hundreds of undead at once. It takes too long to aim and reload for that one kill out of a million shambling zombies coming your way. Also zombie groups seem to have a better sense of smell, and can find hidden people (like snipers) really fast, unlike if there was only one or two zombies by themselves roaming. Marines were much better fighting the large hoards. Now, however, that the bulk of the war was over, and you only saw a zombie here and there, zombie snipers were the ones to call.

The zombie Tom had been sent out to deal with was on the outskirts of a camel market in the Sahara desert village of Hassi Labied. The zombie had somehow gotten itself stuck on a palm tree and had been stuck there for about two weeks before anybody bothered to call the  Z.C.U. (Zombie Containment Unit) The villagers were ignorantly  waiting for the thing to die on its own, forgetting that it was already dead! Its not going to die, not even in the blistering sun, not even if you don’t feed it, not even if you throw rocks at it like the children had been doing the whole time it was stuck.

Not even if you ignore it like the elders had been doing the whole time it was stuck.

That’s alright because no one had gotten bit yet and the Z.C.U. got a chance to deliver their Zombie Do’s and Dont’s pamphlets that nobody back home seem to want anymore (and had cost a lot of money to print, and were now collecting dust in a storehouse somewhere). Too bad the pamphlets were only in English, French, and Spanish, but they had lots of pictures on them…and the villagers were able to use them as fans if nothing else. Some of the villagers spoke French and English and were helping those that did not, so maybe it was not a total waste of effort after all.

Well, the Z.C.U. office seemed optimistic anyway.

Tom setup his position about 65 yards away from the zombie and tree, giving himself enough distance from the monster to allow an escape route if something went wrong, yet close enough for an easy quick shot.

Tom adjusted his scope. Looking at the monster through the lens Tom could see the sun took a real beating on this sucker. The parts of it’s body exposed to the sun were redder than a vine ripen tomato. It’s face was black and bubbly like super burnt cheese on a pizza.

It had it’s toothless face turned upwards. Tom bet it’s eyes had been burnt out by the unforgiving desert sun.

Tom heard  rustling behind him. The village children were gathering. They stayed their distance back a ways. Tom noticed one of the kids held a rock in each hand by his side.

That’s cool, he thought. They came to watch me put down this zombie and save their village. I will be a big hero to them.

Tom smiled to himself and then turned his attention back to the zombie.

Looking through the scope, he had the monster’s head right in his cross-hairs. There was no wind, so need to calculate for that…deep breath…squeeze of the trigger…


The zombie’s head rocked back violently with the force of the bullet and then it’s whole body slumped against the tree. Whatever that ooze is that zombies ooze ran down from the bullet hole in it’s head and started to pool on the sand.

The children clapped and cheered and Tom smiled at them and waved.

Tom’s smile faded quickly as the children suddenly started running towards him.

“Hey, what?” Tom yelled but the children ran past him, heading towards the dead undead zombie.

“Hey, no! No! Stop! Don’t touch it! Stop!” Tom screamed. But either the children didn’t care or didn’t understand…

Tom understood though.

“Don’t touch it!” Tom screamed in vain. He grabbed his cell phone and called the African Z.C.U. office.

“Z.C.U. African office,” The voice on the other end said.

Tom hesitated. He knew what this call meant. Tom almost hung up, but they knew who called in anyway and would just call him back. Tom sighed. They might even know what has happened already. They have satellites everywhere.

“This is Tom. Zombie is down in Sector 2 Jacob Charlie…” Tom paused. “Regrettably we have a contamination. The children are…um…playing? Uh…playing with the zombie body parts.”

“What?” the voice on the end shouted. “Hold please.”

Tom briefly watched as two kids were using the zombie arms as swords, and two other kids were tossing the zombie head back and forth. A few more children were working on dissembling the legs from the torso.

Tom turned and started running.

Tom left the gun.

Tom dropped the phone.

“Tom,” the voice on the other end of the phone said. “You have T-minus four minutes until Hassi Labied becomes a crater….starting now.”

Tom didn’t hear, because Tom never stopped running.