LAP advisory: In the event of a Sharknado, find the nearest catfish noodler

24 Jul

Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado. Yes, Minnesota, even you have reason to fear a Sharknado.

We all know it’s only a matter of time before “The Big One” hits the West Coast, probably somewhere in California first because, let’s face it, they get everything first. The aftershocks will then spread north along Oregon’s coastline, which is exactly where I happen to live. I’ve prepared myself for The Big One as best I can but the truth is: How much can you really prepare for a Sharknado?

Earthquake.
Tsunami.
Volcano.

No problemo.

But you’re going to need more than a survival kit of granola bars and toilet paper when faced with a giant tornado full of hungry Great White sharks. Although the toilet paper will probably come in handy.

What you need is someone who knows how to handle aggressive fish. Someone who isn’t afraid to reach inside its gaping jaws and show it who’s boss…

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