LAP Investigates: The Ice Cream Shoppe

31 May

issue #7

Here at LAP, we keep our finger on the pulse of all the latest controversies and sources of political discord. Perhaps the most significant and polarizing issue facing the modern world has come to a head recently, and in an unprecedented exposé, we’ve gone undercover at the very source of the conflict—no, not Ukraine—the local ice cream shoppe.

One weekend afternoon, when the weather was forecasted to be hot, but not so hot you want to take off all of your clothes and sit in the air conditioning like the Coca-Cola bear in his trailer on a fifteen minute break, LAP correspondents donned jorts and a tee shirt they didn’t care about spilling ice cream on and breached the ice cream shoppe fortress to get a first-hand look at cone prejudice.

Cone prejudice has been taking place in neighborhood ice cream parlors for decades, but with the pro-bowl pundits staking…

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