LAP’s 12 Step Guide to Assembling Cheap Furniture

28 May

issue #7_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Knowing how to assemble cheap furniture is an important domestic skill that is often overlooked today.  It’s not as valuable as learning how to iron out the perfect pleat, or how to remove alcohol-enriched vomit stains from your microsuede, but it’s up there.

Please note that no matter what type of cheap furniture piece you decide to purchase, the assembly procedure will always require a minimum of 12 steps.  If you follow this how-to guide accurately, the procedure should end up being a complete pain in the ass.  That’s how you’ll know you did it right.

Estimated time to complete average assembly: 7 hours – 2 weeks.
Level of competency required: none – very little.



After you’ve made your purchase, begin the preassembly stage by lugging the piece of shit into your living room, making sure to damage any walls and/or casual bystanders within close proximity to your…

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2 Responses to “LAP’s 12 Step Guide to Assembling Cheap Furniture”

  1. The Hook May 31, 2014 at 8:03 AM #

    What did the world do before LAP?

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