11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About

14 Apr

Long Awkward Pause:

By now you’ve probably heard the news that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are “consciously uncoupling” (which is trendy, new-age speak for “splitting up”) after 10 years of marriage.

By now you’ve also probably forgotten all about it because not one part of you remotely cares. Gwyneth Paltrow is awful, and Coldplay is overrated. (…Except for the song “Yellow” whose lyrics about bleeding yourself dry for someone sometimes seem touching instead of super clingy. I guess “Fix You” isn’t so bad. “Clocks” and “Viva La Vida” can be nice sometimes, too. I guess Coldplay is okay, but one should never admit that outside of parentheses.)

GP and Chris Martin’s split and the many epic celebrity breakups that precede it got me thinking about how devastated we would be if some of our favorite classic pairs decided to “consciously uncouple.” Here’s hoping these twosomes below don’t mutually decide to split up anytime soon…


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5 Responses to “11 Hypothetical Breakups You Might Actually Care About”

  1. rayworth1973 April 15, 2014 at 12:18 AM #

    I’m at a loss for words… except I just typed some.

  2. Kev April 15, 2014 at 2:56 AM #

    I like the long awkward pause. 😀

    • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2014 at 8:11 AM #

      Awesome! Thank you! (I do too!)

      • Kev April 19, 2014 at 4:28 PM #


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