The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told

11 Apr

Wait wait, the story doesn’t start here!  This is a blog hop, people!  Click HERE to start from the beginning.


The taller of the two figures looks straight at me and says,

“Is there something I can help you with?!”

He seems a little annoyed. I try to play it light,

“Um, your extension cord is showing…hee, hee…”

The shorter one frantically begins looking over the bundle. The droplets of sweat that have accumulated on his forehead spill to the ground in a salty typhoon for any passing by ants to enjoy. He spies the extension cord and reaches for it with one hand.

“No! Stop! We are dropping it!” the Tall one grits through his teeth.

The bundle starts to shift in their arms. Both men grasp for purchase, but gravity reaches up and yanks the package hard from their limbs. It hits the ground like a 300 pound professional wrestler hitting the mat in an over exaggerated, yet somewhat aerodynamic, death fall.

The metallic thunk reverberates off the pavement and bounces off the apartment walls.

The tall one hisses, “Jesus, we are going to wake up every make-up wielding dateless chick in the neighborhood!”

“Hey!” I said indigently. “Do not, and I mean, DO NOT call me a dateless chick! I am a dateless woman!”

“Sorry,” the Tall one replies.

Suddenly all eyes look at the plastic bag lying on the ground, which is now tiger stripped shredded from the contents within. What looks like a rather large lava lamp wearing a Christmas turtleneck is revealed. It also has two big hubcap wheels on the bottom of it, and two antenna sticking out of the top of it. The largest extension cord ever protrudes from a small compartment on it’s…butt? Duct tape is randomly stuck to it here and there.

“Poop on a stick, she has seen it!” hisses the Smaller one.

“Well, you know what we have to do now…” Tall replies with a rather wicked grin on his face.


Click HERE to continue the story.


25 Responses to “The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told”

  1. Eva April 11, 2014 at 7:35 AM #


  2. Nicole Marie April 11, 2014 at 9:11 AM #

    LOL I want to know what these two nerds were doing!

  3. R. C. Black April 11, 2014 at 9:52 AM #

    Fuuny shit. When I got your piece last night and was expected to continue with it I thought ‘jesuschristinasidecar! talk about a cliff-hanger’ glad I was able to contribute and enjoyed your fleshing out of Tall guy and Short guy. Too much fun for one sentient being.

    • Christopher De Voss April 11, 2014 at 10:44 AM #

      I felt the same way after getting Ned’s piece….Haha…I’m glad we could get it all together.

  4. Ned's Blog April 11, 2014 at 9:57 AM #

    I think whatever they are carrying could replace the leg lamp in my office…

    • Christopher De Voss April 11, 2014 at 10:42 AM #

      Is it an official Christmas Story leg lamp?

      • Eva April 11, 2014 at 10:44 AM #

        Haha! I love that lamp!

      • Christopher De Voss April 11, 2014 at 10:45 AM #

        I had no idea what I was doing, I was just trying to follow Ned’s excellent lead in.

      • Eva April 11, 2014 at 11:11 AM #

        I hear you. (still laughing)

      • Ned's Blog April 11, 2014 at 10:46 AM #

        Is there any other kind? I was actually going to get two, but that just looked weird.

      • Christopher De Voss April 11, 2014 at 10:47 AM #

        Oh yeah… I can see that… :p

  5. Kay April 11, 2014 at 5:33 PM #

    I love how you made gravity an active force! Very cool.

  6. Chowderhead April 11, 2014 at 6:12 PM #

    That was so funny, and so weird dude haha! I think we should do something like this on LAP. \m/

    P.S. Don’t forget to link to Rachael’s actual post – not her blog URL – so that we can keep the story intact!

    • Christopher De Voss April 11, 2014 at 6:13 PM #

      It should be linked.

      • Chowderhead April 11, 2014 at 6:14 PM #

        Ok cool – you gotta fix the link at the top too probably, just in case.

      • Christopher De Voss April 11, 2014 at 6:15 PM #

        Yes…your right on that one…

      • Chowderhead April 11, 2014 at 6:16 PM #

        Yes…you’re right

  7. jiltaroo April 11, 2014 at 10:43 PM #

    Awesome collaboration. Am I a bit stupid though? I didn’t understand the ending comic.

  8. Amy Reese April 12, 2014 at 4:09 AM #

    A ha! A Lava Lamp. Well, I thought as much. Actually no…That was a great turn. I hope the ants enjoyed your sweat droplets. Well done!

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