Long Awkward Pause Presents: March 2014 Horoscopes

11 Mar

by Dr. Horatio Jackson-Smyth PhD, Psychic and Crypto-zoologist
March 2014 is a month with a lot of potential but complicated. March is a month of changes that will require flexibility, calmness and prudence to survive the upcoming Madness.

Mercury has resumed its straight movement after trying out that bi thing for a while and it will now start sorting out some things that have been rather mixed up in the past months. Specifically, all that gossip that lying bitch Barbara in accounting has been spreading around. Mercury’s specialties are communication, information, news, deals, papers and documents, Microsoft Excel, and knowing the “secret” menu at most fast food establishments. However, Mercury is not working at full capacity yet so decisions must be carefully weighed. Quite frankly, Mercury is still a little hung-over. Mercury is a lush.

Venus will finally leave Capricorn where it has stayed for 4 months. I never thought it…

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3 Responses to “Long Awkward Pause Presents: March 2014 Horoscopes”

  1. Amy Pinkrose March 11, 2014 at 6:13 PM #

    Christopher, I came here to personally thank you for liking my article I wrote for Fernando at The Talking Violin, regarding cellphones on planes. Your support meant a lot to me.
    xxoo, Amy

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