A Play By Play Of The Oscars 2014 (In Case You Missed It)

3 Mar

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8:30 pm:  The Oscars begin. Ellen DeGeneres is wearing something from the Liberace collection. She is immediately played off the stage for taking too long.

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8:31 pm: June Squib from the movie Nebraska is old. Ellen points this out to America.

8:32 pm: The Somalian man nominated for Captain Phillips does not get Ellen’s joke about him being a Sommelier.

8:35 pm: Ellen calls out Amy Adams for not going to college. Stay in school kids.

8:36 pm: First reference to Jennifer Lawrence’s tripping on the stairs last year.

8:40 pm: The first award of the night. It took ten minutes to get to it (not bad). Catwoman Hathaway has to navigate the bizarre transparent life sized Oscar statue maze in order to present Best Supporting Actor.

8:43 pm: Jared Leto (who apparently is also filming a movie where he is portraying Jesus Christ) accepts the Best Supporting Actor award with…

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