America In Crisis: Clown Shortage 2014

19 Feb

National Clown Week is celebrated the first week of every August. This year’s festivities might be in jeopardy due to a record drop in enrollment of the world’s famous Clown College.

That’s right, not including the politicians, America might finally be running into a critical shortage of clowns.

For over 30 years anyone and everyone who dreamed of becoming a politician   clown attended Clown College in Sarasota, Florida. There they learn the fine art of makeup, juggling, stilt walking, over-sized shoe dancing, car stuffing, and water turned into confetti fire fighting. The creme of the creme clowns made it into the big show; The Ringling Barnum and Bailey’s Circus. The students in the bottom half end up taking out ads in Craig’s List for snotty 8 year old’s birthday parties and bar mitzvahs. 

We here at Long Awkward Pause are a little sadden by the potential clownpocalypse and started…

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4 Responses to “America In Crisis: Clown Shortage 2014”

  1. ksbeth February 19, 2014 at 7:10 PM #

    i hate clowns and could not be happier about this

  2. rayworth1973 February 22, 2014 at 11:40 AM #

    Clowns always creep me out. Madonna Wayne Gacy anyone… wait a minute… he was in Marylin Manson’s band… and I liked him. Forget it.

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