Time Travelling Zombies Vs The Dinosaurs

7 Oct

If you are unfamiliar with SyFy Channels brand of movies, check out this post: My Simplistic Review of Sharknado.

If you don’t feel like clicking the link, and I know that you don’t…basically in a nutshell, SciFy Channels movies are weird, low budget, campy, and silly.

In other words: perfect.

Here is a short list of some of their offerings:

Alien Apocalypse
Rage of the Yeti
Dinoshark
Jersey Shore Shark Attack
Sharktopus

SO with that in mind, here are two movie concepts I would like to pitch to the SyFy channel.

Movie Concept Numero Uno:

Time Travelling Zombies Vs The Dinosaurs

Act I

The year is 3013 and Zombies have taken over the planet Earth. Only a few hundred uninfected humans are left including the evil Dr. Richard Dicks. The evil Dr. Richard Dicks has been building a time machine, unsuccessfully mind you, for the last twenty years. His plan is to go back in time before the Zombie Apocalypse and become rich off the stock market as inspired by the movie Back To The Future 2. Franklin Shallow and the Shallow Freedom Fighters learn of the evil Dr. Dicks plan and formulate a plan of their own to stop him. Franklin Shallow and the Shallow Freedom Fighters execute their plan in the middle of the night and everything goes wrong! As Franklin and the evil Dr. Dicks fight in hand to hand combat they accidentally start the untested Time Machine. Suddenly hordes of Zombies that have been kept at bay by the evil Dr. Dicks security systems break through and start eating all the Freedom Fighters and the evil Dr. Dicks evil Henchmen. As the zombies descend on Franklin Shallow and the evil Dr. Dicks, the Time Machine emits an eerie bright light and sucks all the Zombies into it, along with Franklin and the evil Dr. Dicks.

Act II

The Zombies, Franklin, and the evil Dr. Dicks find themselves back in time in the land of dinosaurs. The Zombies start attacking the dinosaurs. The big dinosaurs like the Brontosaurs and the T-Rex easily step and crush the Zombies, but the smaller Dinosaurs, like the  Compsognathus and the Velociraptor fall victim to the zombie’s bite and become Zombie Dinosaurs. Franklin and the evil Dr. Dicks realize they need to work together, along with the bigger dinosaurs to stop the Zombies and the Zombie Dinosaurs before the time line is drastically changed and man would cease to exist.

Movie Concept Numero B:

Crazy Grandma

The Stickman’s are an ordinary family. The family consists of Mom Stickman, Dad Stickman, Brother Stickman, Baby Stickman, and Grandma Stickman. Grandma Stickman often feels left out and ridiculed by the family.  The Stickman’s don’t mean to make Grandma feel this way, it just sort of happens. One Saturday night the Stickman’s decide to go out to their favorite fancy restaurant, The Olive Garden.  During the family’s fifth serving of the Never Ending Pasta Bowl Promotion, Grandma Stickman starts chocking on a meatball. The Stickman’s not realizing the severity of Grandma’s chocking start laughing and pointing at her. Not until Grandma starts turning blue does the Olive Garden waiter rush to her aid and applies the Heimlich Maneuver. Grandma passes out for a brief moment and goes to Hell. During her visit to Hell the Devil gives her special powers and super strength. When Grandma comes too, she goes on a rampage and kills everyone in the Olive Garden. She kills the Stickman’s by hanging them from the ceiling with Spaghetti. Then Grandma starts her killing spree through the small town with various funny one liners and new and crazy inventive killings.

Grandma Stickman is finally stopped by the Local Sheriff and the Local Demonologist in a show down that involves Ben Gay Ointment, Bingo Cards, and a car whose left blinker light has been on for the last seven miles.

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37 Responses to “Time Travelling Zombies Vs The Dinosaurs”

  1. ohlidia October 7, 2013 at 9:23 AM #

    You’ve got quite the imagination. Go for it! It’s just as creative as what they’ve got going now.

    • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 10:00 AM #

      It’s from being dropped on my head as a baby a lot.

  2. El Guapo October 7, 2013 at 9:26 AM #

    Dr. Dick Dicks?
    Really?

  3. dentaleggs October 7, 2013 at 10:12 AM #

    It’s all in the inflection — ‘Dick DICKS’, ‘DICK dicks’, or ‘DICK! DICKS!’ Or not, I don’t know.

    • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 10:34 AM #

      You just said ‘dicks’ like 6 times… 😉

      • dentaleggs October 7, 2013 at 10:43 AM #

        True. You just counted six dicks.

      • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 10:44 AM #

        I see what you did there…

      • dentaleggs October 7, 2013 at 10:47 AM #

        Haha… you’re so fucking funny.

  4. silkpurseproductions October 7, 2013 at 11:06 AM #

    I’m thinking both these ideas could work. I know I would watch them. Of course apparently I have a “problem” with watching TV. Yes, He-Who is planning an intervention.

  5. Blogdramedy October 7, 2013 at 11:31 AM #

    Fascinating. Whatever happens let’s hope Dick Dicks stays away from the Ben Gay.

  6. Ervin Sholpnick October 7, 2013 at 1:27 PM #

    Awesome!!!

    I’m going to the microwave now to make popcorn… How long until these can be made into movies???

  7. Katie October 7, 2013 at 5:17 PM #

    You forgot Ghost Shark on your list. Easily SyFy’s best movie ever made.

    • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 5:27 PM #

      I have heard about this movie, but have not seen it yet. Can it really be better than Sharknado?

      • Katie October 7, 2013 at 5:28 PM #

        The ghost shark can exist in any body of water. He ate a kid on a slip n’ slide. It was an amazing cinematic treasure.

      • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 5:30 PM #

        I need to see this movie!

  8. floridaborne October 7, 2013 at 5:23 PM #

    Can I play Grandma Stickman. I’m perfect for a SyFy movie. I can’t act and everyone will be rooting for the sheriff.

    • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 5:30 PM #

      Done! Do you need a Grandma wig?

      • floridaborne October 7, 2013 at 5:32 PM #

        Possibly. My hair isn’t entirely gray yet, and it’s waist length.

      • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 5:35 PM #

        That’s okay. We will need to granny bun that and spray paint it grey, and you will be good to go.

  9. Maddie Cochere October 7, 2013 at 7:37 PM #

    Time Traveling Zombies vs The Dinosaurs would be a smash hit. Crazy Grandma scared the snot out of me, and I’m never going to an Olive Garden again. Nor am I coming to your house on a night when you’re serving pasta, because this stuff waits in your mind.

    • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 7:42 PM #

      What’s funny is I served pasta tonight! Muah haha!

  10. ksbeth October 7, 2013 at 8:10 PM #

    love

  11. The Bumble Files October 7, 2013 at 8:13 PM #

    Boobs. I think you should just submit these! Yes, do it. They’re definitely wacky enough. What about a zombie/ghost story? Are you yawning…I assume that one has been done.

    • Christopher De Voss October 7, 2013 at 8:50 PM #

      I don’t know. All ideas are good! Thank you for the boobs!

  12. lifeissarcasm October 8, 2013 at 7:57 PM #

    I feel totally cheated. I was really getting into the story of the Dinosaurs vs. Zombies and it just .. Ends! I really need to know what happens next, please don’t leave us hanging. I like your zombie dinosaur pic too. 🙂
    As for Grandma Stick – the first inkling that story was going to go wrong was that they went to Olive Garden! I guess fake stick people like to eat fake Italian food. Personally, I’d like it if the stick family she killed became zombies. Stick Zombies, now there’s an idea!

    • Christopher De Voss October 8, 2013 at 8:00 PM #

      That is an idea…as far as the ending goes these are just pitches. SyFy has to pick it up to get an ending.

      • lifeissarcasm October 8, 2013 at 9:31 PM #

        No, you don’t understand, I need to know how this ends! Don’t Jones me dude.

      • Christopher De Voss October 8, 2013 at 9:50 PM #

        Give me a couple of days and I’ll get you an ending.

      • lifeissarcasm October 8, 2013 at 9:57 PM #

        Whew! I’ll name my first stick figure child after you. Thanks.

      • Christopher De Voss October 8, 2013 at 10:43 PM #

        No problem.

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