If Taylor Swift Wrote About Real Life

22 Jul

McDonald’s Story

Standing in line waiting to order a burger

Your register girl is slow like a tumor

She doesn’t even know what a number 2 combo is

A number 2 is

The next thing I know

A wet floor cone is on the floor

I see no spill

So I walk around it

Walk around it

Chorus 1:

I ordered a 10 piece

You gave me 9 pieces

Where’s my Bar-B-Que?

It doesn’t look like the picture

Is this even real cheese?

This is my McDonald’s story

I look at the fry carton, it’s only half full

Just ’cause I’m skinny

Doesn’t mean I don’t like french fries

I like french fries

The drive through is backed up

People are screaming

Problem is the manager is only 14

He is only 14

Chorus 2:

I ordered a 10 piece

You gave me 9 pieces

I ordered a milkshake

You gave me a smoothie

Ronald kind of scares me

This is my McDonald’s story

Tags: 2013, blog, boobs, daytona, food, humor, humour, internet, lol, mcdonalds, poem, poetry, random, rant, ronald, scary, story, taylor swift

Comments 59 Comments
Categories Food, funny, Humor, Music, Ode, Photoshop, Random, Rant, Restaurant
Author Christopher De Voss

59 Responses to “If Taylor Swift Wrote About Real Life”

The Vanilla Housewife July 22, 2013 at 11:00 AM #

If I were Taylor I’d send you a thank you note 🙂
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 11:04 AM #
  
  She tried but Kayne took it.
  - The Vanilla Housewife July 22, 2013 at 11:07 AM #
    
    LOL damn Kanye
Mike is Happy July 22, 2013 at 11:00 AM #

I’m lovin’ it.
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 11:04 AM #
  
  Ba ba ba ba baaaaaa
omawarisan July 22, 2013 at 11:26 AM #

She’s still never ever getting back together with you.
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 10:38 PM #
  
  She might. I have M&Ms.
misskzebra July 22, 2013 at 11:45 AM #

To be fair, Taylor Swift already sings a lot about her real life, apparently she actually pointed at Harry Styles while singing, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in!” at some award ceremony.
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 11:56 AM #
  
  I know. I was with her at the Mickey D’s. She said it was okay to write about it.
Carrie Rubin July 22, 2013 at 12:39 PM #

With lyrics like that, I might actually listen to her music. Well, probably not, but I’d be one step closer…

Thanks for the retweet about the book contest. I appreciate you spreading the word. Very thoughtful of you!
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 12:39 PM #
  
  I entered too. I like free books.
  - Carrie Rubin July 22, 2013 at 12:41 PM #
    
    Yes, free is good. Unless it’s a free STD. Then that is not good.
  - Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 1:36 PM #
    
    Agreed, but readily available…
Ervin Sholpnick July 22, 2013 at 1:19 PM #

You could have background singers, Harmonizing…
Super sized… Super sized… Would you like that super sized???
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 1:35 PM #
  
  Perfect!
Fat Bottom Girl July 22, 2013 at 1:29 PM #

That would be a definite improvement over most of her music! lol
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 1:36 PM #
  
  Not a fan?
  - Fat Bottom Girl July 22, 2013 at 1:47 PM #
    
    Could you tell??
  - Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 1:48 PM #
    
    I won’t send you her boxed set of unreleased love songs then.
  - Fat Bottom Girl July 22, 2013 at 2:04 PM #
    
    That would be appreciated since my love reads like some sort of tragic novel with Jerry Springer-esque qualities. 🙂
sagedoyle July 22, 2013 at 4:18 PM #

hahahahahaa
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 4:19 PM #
  
  But were you rolling on the floor?
  - sagedoyle July 22, 2013 at 4:32 PM #
    
    Oh yeah, just got up now as you were replying lmao
  - Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 8:34 PM #
    
    😉
David Stewart July 22, 2013 at 8:32 PM #

I think this might be a good opportunity for you: singing Taylor Swift-esque songs about everyday problems.
On a side note, I once got nuggets and my wife ate one while I was getting straws. I opened it, saw one was missing and went up and complained and they gave me a new one. I didn’t find out she had eaten one until I got back and she asked why I went back up.
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 8:35 PM #
  
  Haha! That’s awesome!
Andrew July 22, 2013 at 9:13 PM #

I’m going to copy and paste this in my “That is so Taylor Swift” diary.
- Christopher De Voss July 22, 2013 at 9:15 PM #
  
  Don’t say that outloud!
  - Andrew July 22, 2013 at 9:17 PM #
    
    Shit! Delete! Delete!
Monk Monkey July 23, 2013 at 2:05 AM #

Hello.
gingerfightback July 23, 2013 at 11:04 AM #

Beautiful absolutely beautiful
- Christopher De Voss July 23, 2013 at 11:06 AM #
  
  Too bad Taylor isn’t a redhead…
  - gingerfightback July 23, 2013 at 11:38 AM #
    
    Could you do a Ginger song a la Taylor Swift? I’ll provide the sausage photo and ginger wig!
  - Christopher De Voss July 23, 2013 at 11:41 AM #
    
    Not a bad idea. I’ll look into my inner ginger for inspiration. (I can grow flecks of red in my beard scruff)
  - Christopher De Voss July 24, 2013 at 10:33 AM #
    
    How’s this?
    
    “We Will Never Ever Be Redheads Together”
    
    I remember when we hung out the first time
    Saying, “Your Hair is so red, it shines in the sun
    My hair is dirty blonde
    When you said you’re natural. (What?)
    Then I ran to the CVS
    To dye my hair red, it was the store brand
    Remember how you laughed that day?
    As all my hair ended up grey
    Ooh, we could try it again
    But ooh, this time I’m telling you, I’m telling you
    
    We are never ever ever going to be redheads together,
    We are never ever ever going to be redheads together,
    You go gingering again, I’m bald again,
    But we are never ever ever ever going to be redheads together
  - gingerfightback July 25, 2013 at 3:42 AM #
    
    Love it! Having a break from things for a while so will sausage and ginger Taylor in a while and send them over to you! – cheers
  - Christopher De Voss July 25, 2013 at 8:13 AM #
    
    🙂
ksbeth July 24, 2013 at 12:16 AM #

luv this. can i supersize it?
- Christopher De Voss July 24, 2013 at 12:18 AM #
  
  Yes, except in New York.
  - ksbeth July 24, 2013 at 12:20 AM #
    
    if spitzer and weiner can make comebacks after their arrests, i can easily make my comeback after my big food/drink bust.
  - Christopher De Voss July 24, 2013 at 12:22 AM #
    
    True…and you said bust…
  - ksbeth July 24, 2013 at 12:23 AM #
    
    true – guess it would have been funnier if i was dyslexic and said, ‘big bust drink food.’
  - Christopher De Voss July 24, 2013 at 12:24 AM #
    
    Haha!
denmother July 24, 2013 at 1:08 PM #

Taylor’s 21 year old emotions are real life, Christopher!
- Christopher De Voss July 24, 2013 at 1:11 PM #
  
  As were mine at that age.
Christa Thompson @ChristaTravels July 25, 2013 at 10:23 AM #

I just pissed my pants…. Brilliant! x
- Christopher De Voss July 25, 2013 at 2:49 PM #
  
  Sexy!
  - Christa Thompson @ChristaTravels July 25, 2013 at 2:52 PM #
    
    Yeah, it’a a curse what can I say.
  - Christopher De Voss July 25, 2013 at 2:53 PM #
    
    😉
1jaded1 July 28, 2013 at 10:06 AM #

Hi. The food doesn’t look like the pictures? Devestated.
- Christopher De Voss July 28, 2013 at 10:09 AM #
  
  The pictures are of plastic food usually…just a little FYI…
  - 1jaded1 July 28, 2013 at 10:19 AM #
    
    Got it. Another instance of marketing magic. Thanks for the FYI.
The Bumble Files July 28, 2013 at 12:37 PM #

This song rules, Chris! Haha!!
- Christopher De Voss July 28, 2013 at 12:40 PM #
  
  Thank you, so do you!
  - The Bumble Files July 28, 2013 at 6:05 PM #
    
    🙂
Sandee July 28, 2013 at 9:43 PM #

Gee I dunno about this song Chris, but, I do like Taylor Swift — so two thumbs up!
- Christopher De Voss July 28, 2013 at 9:46 PM #
  
  I’ll take it!
Kendall F. Person, thepublicblogger July 30, 2013 at 1:55 AM #

You are funny and clever…lol.
- Christopher De Voss July 30, 2013 at 2:02 AM #
  
  Thank you. I appreciate that!

Comments are closed.

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