Take a tornado…
Add sharks…
Inside of the tornado mind you…
And you have Sharknado!
It’s another one of Syfy channels, Oh-So-Bad-They-Have-To-Be-Watched movies following in the footsteps of such great classics:
Chupacabra Vs. The Almo Flying Monkeys 12 Disasters of Christmas Aladdin And The Death Lamp Arachnoquake Jersey Shore Shark Attack Piranhaconda Mega Python Vs Gatoroid SharktopusThose are 100% honest to goodness real movies.
To start the movie off, after surfing for a millisecond Ian Ziering, of 90120 fame, has to warn people that the waters have become shark infested. No one listens, of course as the camera pans back and forth across a nice bikini clad bottom. Then a shark bites his buddy on a jet ski, followed by a huge rain storm. During the storm the sharks are picked up out of the water and deposited into a nearby restaurant on the pier.
Some creative shark kills during the shark filled restaurant scene:
Pool stick through a shark’s head. Bar stool to shark’s jaw. Randomly stored explosive canister jammed into shark’s mouth and blown up. Broken shark filled Ferris Wheel rolls off the hinges, chases everyone down the boardwalk, and finally crashes into a hotel.Now it’s storming even harder and the coastal town is flooding. As the waters rise the streets become populated with all types of sharks.
Hammerhead Sharks… Great White Sharks… Mortgage Lenders…Ian warns some stranded motorists of the shark filled streets, but nobody is listening to him today. They all get chomped into pieces by the never satisfied fishes. I think they were waiting on Luke Perry for confirmation. One of my favorite special effects is when they needed to drive through some waves to escape to higher ground and I swear they filmed someone flicking a hot wheel with their finger to achieve this dramatic shot.
I won’t give away the whole movie but here are some key moments to look forward to when you watch it with your loved ones:
Sharks being blown out of street manholes Tara Reid’s bad acting Trying to pull a guy from a Shark’s mouth by his feet Sharks swimming in a living room Shark period jokes Completely flooded shark filled house…except the driveway where the escape car is sitting Ian stopping the car a lot to try to save random strangers and most of them not listening Shark eating through the roof of a moving car Random decapitated Shark heads in the street An Australian with no Australian accent whats-so-ever, except he does say, “Mate” every time he opens his mouth MacGuyver wheelbarrow weapons Flying a helicopter through a Sharknado Electrified Sharks Blowing up the Senior Citizen’s Shark infested pool Sharks attacking a helicopter while in the air Shark crashing through a billboard Ian saying, “The waters are rising!” a lot Chainsawing yourself out of a Shark while rescuing a girl from inside it’s belly* I give this movie a rating of 2988 of 3000 shark teeth. *Greatest scene ever!
Christopher De Voss 
This sounds AWESOOOOOOOME!!!
It was awesome! Awesomely bad! What was also bad was the fact that this published a day early as well. 😦
ha! Awesome!
Do they have Sharknados in Australia?
Yes, it’s called “having a shower.”
If that was the case, you would think Australians would be stinky. Yet Australia isn’t considered a stinky country, which brings me to one conclusion…. Australians are bad ass.
Einstein, other guy, de Voss. The three smartest men in Christendom.
And the Oscar goes to…….
The Sharks!
The best shitty movie of the year! I live for these icky bug movies. I’m just pissed they moved them to Thursdays instead of Saturday when they used to show them. My astronomy buddy said they originally aired the icky bugs on Thrusdays and moved them to Saturday a few years ago. Moving them back to Thursday was a bad move to me. Now they leave room on Saturday for that dud, Sinbad or whatever. Shit.
Do you have On Demand on your cable, that’s where I watch most of this stuff. Then it doesn’t matter what night it’s on.
I cannot wait to see this! It is right up my alley and I also look forward to the others. Wow –
If you love bad cheesy movies, this was right up there!
It’s surprising what a successful B-movie formula that is: combine two dangerous things, including their name. I’m predicting Ebolanado, Tapewormtsunami, and Diabetesvolcano anytime now.
Diabetesvolcano would be a hit I’m sure. Bearnami is floating around the net as a possible sequel.
Bearnami sounds like it’s got some possibilities. I guess I should narrow it to the formula of: dangerous animal+natural disaster. In which case, I’d like to see Tarantulavalanche.
That’s a mouthful.
I don’t think I could force myself to sit through it…especially since I don’t like blood and gore. But now I don’t need to…yay!
It’s not too gory…and what little gore there is, is kind of funny.
Funny gore? Eh?
Yes. It’s meant to be tongue in cheek as opposed to gross out.
I’m still not interested in sharks in a tornado…my dreams are weird enough without the extra help!
I read 😉
I’m still trying to figure out why we lost 12 shark teeth on this rating. Do you just not like sharks or something? I mean come on, solid actors like Ian Ziering AND Tara Reid? 1 billion shark teeth right there to start. Sharks AND tornadoes? Who would have ever thought these two crazy things could ever go together? Damn. Butter me up some popcorn!
It was Tara Reid’s acting! Oh my god it was bad! I think they took away lines from her at the end and told her to just stand there and look worried.
Poor Tara. She should always be worried. Somewhere she took a way wrong turn. And correct me if I’m wrong but I could swear Ian Z. used to spell his name Iain. There’s part of his problem. Why do I think I know that? Many evenings well spent on 90210 – the original!
Maybe I got the name wrong…
Nope I googled it and it reads Ian, but I swear he had some Hollywood spelling back in the day. He’s made it disappear…. some stripper probably told him it sucked.
Hahahaha!
This sounds like it could be Godfather 4 – it is that good
Sadly, even Ian Zerling and William Heard can’t match the star wattage of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in the syfy classic Mega Shark vs. Super Python (or something)…
Yes, but that had a cat fight in it. It wins by default.
I love that you went with “mortgage lenders” instead of the easy choice of “lawyers”.
Sounds like this one is one to savour. Looking forward to it.
Let me know what you think!
Where do you get to see this kinda stuff? Also proof that there is life after 90210, even if it’s a crappy one.
I love bad movies. Syfy channel loves them too.
Ian Zehring stated in an interview that he was sure that this movie was going to be his ‘Pulp Fiction’. His ‘comeback’. Hahahahahahahahahahahah!
It just maybe. He actually did a good job.
I’m sure he did, with what he had. Sharks scare me enough. A Sharknado, would make me lose my ever loving mind.
If you want to watch a scary movie, check out Sinister with Ethan Hawke. I slept with the damn light on last night. OMFG!
I love scary movies. I will check it out.
;-p
This was on TV the other night and I thought it was the funniest/worst movie ever!!
Exactly
Reblogged this on Long Awkward Pause.
O. M. Effin’. G.
I love you Syfy.
Me too!
Pretty sure Chupacabra vs The Alamo is one I can’t miss!
I agree!
Especially since it stars Erik Estrada!
Even better!
Great review – can’t wait to read the one on the just-announced sequel. Hands down (or bitten off), Syfy is the best TV channel, and not just because everything broadcast is based on a true story. All of their movies are the most splendid crap-de-la-crap, especially the early ones made on a budget of less than $10 – combined. Animal Planet, you can keep your damn mermaids, bring on Sharknado 2!
Here here!
I so want to see Mystery Science Theater resurrected…It would be awesome to see those reactions! LOL
Agreed! Love that show!
Hey man, love the review, been reading a lot of ypur posts recently and I’m impressed! I was wondering if you could do a random post on my site to help boost traffic somewhat?
The site can be found at http://thesimpsonstappedouthelp.com/
Regards
I play the game. What kind of post where you thinking?
As do I! and many others. Anything really, just a post on your views of the blog, perhaps a personal review from yourself, something you readers can relate to 🙂 either that or a guest post that I can prepare if you’d prefer, let me know 🙂
OK. Sounds good. I have a new project, longawkwardpause.wordpress.com launching August 1st. After that I can do something.
Many thanks 🙂 your help is appreciated and if I can ever return the favour let me know 🙂 I shall be reading your new blog when it comes to light 🙂
Check it out now if you like. It’s up, but the official posts are on the 1st.
Ok, I will 🙂 thanks
Are you still planning on doing a radio play of Piranhaconda? If so can I audition? I’ve been reading a lot of books on radio acting, and think I can bring a sense of “art” to the production. Thank you ahead of time for your consideration.
You are in.
Thank you. I was worried I was wasting my time with all this practicing.