Are you a Nursery Rhyme?
Are you tired of being bullied..harassed…or even repeated a hundred times by sing-songy snot nosed children or otherwise?
Then call the Law Offices of:
Gepetto, Horner, and Muffit
Are you a cat with a fiddle? Are you continuously being called hurtful names like: “Hey! Diddle! Diddle!”
Then get the Law Offices of Gepetto, Horner, and Muffit to fight for you!
“Sue the pants off of them like they were Winnie the Pooh!”
We specialize in Bovine Workers Union Issues as well! How many times will you be forced to jump over the moon for less than minimum wage? Not any more!
“We don’t get paid, unless you do! (And we except chocolate coins as payment!)
Are dogs laughing at you? Are your silverware stealing your dishes?
“We got Georgie Porgie off from numerous sexual battery charges!”
Call today. We have many lawyers to handle all types of cases! Some of them made out of gingerbread!
“It doesn’t matter if your peas porridge is hot, cold, or nine days old, we will fight for you!”
Read these testimonials!
“Gepetto, Horner, and Muffit got that stupid Old King Cole to finally pay us!” ~One of the Fiddler’s Three
“They handled my divorce from my 400 pound wife quickly and it didn’t cost but 2000 chocolate coins!” ~ Jack Sprat
“G, H, & M helped us quiet the neighborhood!” ~ Little Boy Blue’s neighbor
“They put my sick, sick, husband with his sick, sick gourd fetish behind bars! Where he belongs!” ~ Wife of Peter Pumpkin Eater
“I finally got paid thanks to Gepetto, Horner, and Muffit. Simple Simon can kiss my blueberry bum!” ~ The Pieman
“They help me get government assistance. Now I live in a steel toed work boot. So much better!” ~ Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe
“They helped me change my name legally. Now my credit can be repaired!” ~ Al Kayda formerly known as John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
“I’ll never have to work again after being trapped on that bridge when it collapsed. Gepetto, Horner, and Muffit got the city to give me compensation to last me for the rest of my life!” ~ My Fair Lady
Christopher De Voss 
Lol. Loved this.
Thank you!
I will be re-reading all the children’s classics to see if I can spy any possibly legal actions to be taken. I can then turn them into learning moments for my nieces and nephews.
You will find lots if you really pay attention to what you are reading. It’s actually kind of scary.
Awesome. “Al Kayda” is a much better name! Hilarious! Thank you!
Thank you for stopping by…I always appreciate it. (Almost as much as Boob Day.)
Ha!
Yay!
My second LOL moment of the day! This is priceless!
Smart witty men are so damn sexy.
They are. Let me know if you find one! 😉
(that sounded gay, which I’m not…not that there is anything wrong with that…)
I’ve seen which blogs you hang out at. I was pretty confident you weren’t gay. 😉
I’ll be on the lookout for those smart men, though. Might even write a post about them.
Busted! Looking forward to the post.
I’m with Jack Sprat on this – brilliant!
Jack and you have good taste.
We do – and thanks for the retweet
Brilliant.
You are too kind sir!
You’re right. Your piece was just moderately clever, then. Happy?
Yes. (less pressure.)
I stumbled across your blog and have been enjoying reading your posts immensely! You have provided me with some MUCH needed laughter…as well as a completely different take on nursery rhymes! I will never look at Mother Goose the same way… 😉
Thank you for the stumble. Yes, Mother Goose is evil. I have your blog out as well. Good stuff.
HA! HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Don’t forget to breathe!
This needs to be turned into a flash animation commerical. Not sure how to make that happen. But it needs too.
Ok. Make it happen! Oh wait, you just said you’re not sure how….nevermind.
I loved this, I love nursery rhymes , word play and clever writing.
Thank you. Two out of three ain’t bad…