High School Musical Reunion (minus the Musical) Pt One

15 Apr

I’m about to date myself.

I don’t mean I was going to take myself out on a date, I haven’t had to do that since High School.

Speaking of  High School, my 25th Renioun is coming up.

I’m thinking about going since I didn’t go to the 5th year renioun…or the 10th, 15th, 17 1/2, or 20th High School Reunions.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about going to be honest. I can’t say High School was all that fun, or enjoyable, or even defined me as a person.

The first year and an half down right sucked.

I’m not sure I want to rub elbows 25 years later with people who used to stick gum in my hair and knock the books out of my hands while I was walking to class.

Ha, ha, guy who did that to me, scatering my books and notebook papers all over the hallway….

Good one.


…good one.

My High School was a big wrestling High School, and if you didn’t wrestle….well, you were not cool.

I didn’t have the competive spirit, nor the body, nor the stomach for sticking my face in some other kid’s junk, to really want to wrestle.

My talents lied elsewhere, like being rejected by girls.

I was really talented at that.

At least this was justly deserved, as I was a big old nerd…with a nerd’s haircut, nerd braces, nerd’s slouch, freckles, and my only impressive skill: folding notecards into frogs.

Which to preteen/teenage girls…not that impressive.

So for that, my books and notebook paper would be scattered on a daily basis in the hallways of my Alma Mater.

As well as they should.


If the wrestlers thought about it though, not really a good recuitment campaign to get me on the blue wrestling tights band wagon. I’m glad that  recuitment companies in the real world don’t use that same technique.

That would be really weird.

I pretty sure if I had joined the wrestling team, I would have had my ass handed to me, plus I’m a little nervous about heights, and I wouldn’t ever be able to do a flip off the top rope.

Which, I’m being told there is no ropes in High School Wrestling, so I guess that was not a valid excuse.

I did sit on the bench of the Freshman Basketball team to try to up my High School sports cred.

It didn’t work.

To be honest…everyone made the Freshman Basketball team.

I sucked so bad at Basketball. I really deserved to ride the bench. I was a pro at riding the bench though. I knew where to sit so as to not get any splinters in my bum, I could take a big swig of water from the sports bottle like I had just played hard…even though I didn’t, and I could cheer and get into a big game hudle with the rest of the team like I was important to the chances of winnig or losing.

I wasn’t.

If and this was a big if….I made it onto the basketball court during game time…like usually the last 30 seconds of the game, and you passed the ball to me, I would probably either:

A) Dribble it until it was stolen from me
B) Pass it right back quickly like we were playing hot potato
C) Shoot it towards the basket, having it fall three feet short of the net.

I ran up and down the court like a boss though. And my basketball sneakers were always clean and my socks were always knee high.

So, I turned to theater. Which I also failed miserably. In the fall we had a drama and in the spring we had a musical.

I can’t sing, so in the spring I would end up in the chorus. Sometimes there would be speaking parts in the musicals that didn’t require you to sing, but those always went to the same guy. As a matter of fact, most of the parts in any production we did went to the same people. I would get little tiny parts with one or two lines, which I would rewrite to be funnier or ad lib something during a performance. My enhancements would go over pretty well and the drama teacher would let me keep my new versions, but I’m pretty sure she would have rather me stick to the script.

I’m a more off the cuff type of actor, which eventually lead to me joining an improv troop much later in life, but that’s a whole different set of stories.

The only good thing that I got out of the drama department was I got to snuggle with some of the girls while I was waiting to deliver my one line.

I felt sorry for my parents. They sat through an entire season of basketball watching me and the bench become one. Then they had to sit through 2 hour High School plays of really bad acting so that could hear me say my one ad libbed line.

At the very end they were more than supportive,

“You were great as Soldier No. 4. You really nailed it! So much better than last year when you were Village Peasant No. 2!”

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I basically injected my lines myself, otherwise they would have been watching me just stand on stage for two hours doing nothing like the wooden trees built by the stage crew.

So scoring big zeros in sports and drama, I tried Art. One of the guys I went to school with could draw cars really, really well. Come to think of it, he could only draw one kind of car really, really well. Which he drew over. And over. And over.

And I don’t think it was an actual in production car. I think it was a bunch of different styles of cars mashed into his ultimate “cool” car creation.

My hand at drawing was simplistic at best. Stick figures having sex mostly. I learned to draw eyes pretty good though…not whole faces mind you…just eyes.

Art was out.

For my music venture, I tried Guitar. I was in the church guitar group for awhile and thank God there was four other guitars to cover up the horrible sounds coming from my instrument. I couldn’t read music nor play any cool rock songs. I was able to successfully get my pick stuck in the guitar hole quite a bit, thus turning the guitar into maraca. If I was smart, I should have invented the Guitaca.

Maybe I still will. I just copyrighted Guitaca(tm) before any of you guys get any ideas.

I left High School with no intentions to look back. College was a much, much better experience.

So what really brought on these ponderings?

A guy from my High School wants to friend me on Facebook. He was neither mean nor nice to me, but he hung out with the book slappers. I remember once he snapped the bra of a big boobed girl in class one day.

I thought that was cool. I wanted to do that so bad, but…you know…not a cool kid.

It wasn’t all bad. Things started turning around towards the end of Freshman year.

I’ll tell why in part two.

39 Responses to “High School Musical Reunion (minus the Musical) Pt One”

  1. Anisa April 15, 2013 at 9:53 AM #

    Ugh, high school. I’m with you. Our hs class sucked so bad that we’ve never even had a single reunion planned in 17 years. I talk to who I want to on FB and fuck all the rest.
    (I mean, I ignore them, I don’t actually fuck them. They only wish I’d fuck them. You know what I mean.)

    • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2013 at 11:46 AM #

      I know what you mean. I’m pretty much the same. If I miss it, I wouldn’t be crying myself to sleep.

  2. jayne April 15, 2013 at 11:31 AM #

    I don’t see the point of going – unless it’s for writing material. If it isn’t to visit friends you had fun with – forget it. I’ll save you some time. The jocks – won’t be able to fit in those WAY COOL 1920’s swimsuit stretchy outfits; Pretty girls you had crushes on don’t look at all like what you remember. You may not even recognize them ( you know, with hair dye and the effect of growing a human being within their abdomen and all…oh yeah, and TIME ravaging everyone ) There will be the couple people who surprise you by looking good and happy. If you get there, YOU just might find that YOU are one of the lucky ones I just described. Good Luck.

    • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2013 at 11:47 AM #

      That’s exactly what I’m thinking!

      • jayne April 15, 2013 at 12:00 PM #

        well, then, you may just find out that YOU’RE the cool one now. I mean, that you are one of the lucky people who still has a positive outlook on life and the best years ahead of you. You may also find that old friends are still great friends. There are positive reasons to go too.

  3. jennigreenmiller April 15, 2013 at 12:01 PM #

    So familiar. So very very familiar. Highschool… you just gotta live through it.

  4. MissFourEyes April 15, 2013 at 12:45 PM #

    I never understood those teenage girls that didn’t think folding notecards into frogs was impressive. It’s a notecard folded into a frog! What’s not to love?

    • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2013 at 2:38 PM #

      I know, right! It’s not easy…and they really hop if you press on their butts.

  5. rheath40 April 15, 2013 at 2:23 PM #

    I created a high school reunion of sorts back in November of 2012. It went well and was highly attended. Standing in the middle of the bar though I began to feel like the girl I was in high school. Shitty. I was not a popular girl. I had big boobs and boys thought that gave them license to touch me without my permission. I was the drama and choir nerd too

    Life didn’t really come together for me till I graduated and got married. It took many years to realize that I was creative, crazy, impulsive, a wife, a mother, a writer and a host of other things. All I wanted to do on the night of the reunion was hang with my close friends that I talk to still and have a drink with an old boyfriend. It sucked feeling unsure of myself and shitty again.

    My advice, don’t go. Hang out with your family and love the life you have now. Because it is so much better than high school ever was. That goes for the popular people too. It wasn’t any better for them. We’re all still living lives of quiet desperation, wondering what the fuck happened.


    • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2013 at 2:39 PM #

      I’m glad it came together for you. Now your published as well, so screw them. You should always ask permission to touch someone’s boobs. Jerks.

      • rheath40 April 15, 2013 at 2:47 PM #

        Sorry I went on my sweet. Do what makes you happy. 🙂

      • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2013 at 7:37 PM #

        No problem!

  6. The Bumble Files April 15, 2013 at 4:19 PM #

    Christ, I didn’t like high school at all! I didn’t go to any of my reunions either, although I had a friend who went and she had a great time. She told me everyone was really nice. I kind of regret I didn’t go now. So, if you have any desire at all to go, you should do it! You didn’t mention that you were a talented writer in high school. You left that one out!

    • Christopher De Voss April 15, 2013 at 4:36 PM #

      There’s more to the story. Maybe next post. Thank you for those kind words.

  7. ksbeth April 15, 2013 at 7:33 PM #

    can’t wait to read what turned things around for you. high school isn’t always the incredible experience everyone portrays – happy you finally found your place in the world and i’m ready to hear how you got there – peace,

  8. David Stewart April 15, 2013 at 8:31 PM #

    I found all the parts of high school where I wasn’t being depressed by girls or bored by schoolwork to be awesome. I wish I could go back and do just those parts

  9. Catherine April 15, 2013 at 8:37 PM #

    Eww, high school, the bane of every well adjusted person. I’ve skipped my ten year reunion and intend to keep up that streak until they stop having them.

  10. El Guapo April 16, 2013 at 9:35 PM #

    There’s are reasons I didn’t keep in touch with most of the people I knew in high school.
    No need to see them and be reminded why.

    • Christopher De Voss April 16, 2013 at 9:43 PM #

      The only ones I keep in connect with I already do on Facebook. No need for the others.

  11. calahan April 17, 2013 at 2:07 PM #

    This is the reason that I was only one Facebook for two days. It was a gigantic HS reunion and I hated HS, so why drag those uncomfortable memories out into my adult life?

  12. ohlidia April 18, 2013 at 10:26 AM #

    Although you might not want to hang out with those goons, you might go for the entertainment… you know, get caught up with some of those who made your HS years miserable and then write about them! Give them a taste of their own medicine!!

  13. Carrie Rubin April 19, 2013 at 9:38 AM #

    Your high school experience sounds much like mine. But I never wanted to snap any bra straps…

  14. Monk Monkey April 20, 2013 at 6:34 AM #

    This sounds like a book for boys! Diary of an Angsty Nerd?
    …man I hated school!

    • Christopher De Voss April 20, 2013 at 8:35 AM #

      It got better, but boy that first year…I learned a lot…quickly.

  15. filledandfooled April 24, 2013 at 12:55 AM #

    I laughed for over two minutes after reading “Guitaca.” You are really on to something there.

  16. Crazy_Lady April 24, 2013 at 8:31 PM #

    I thnk you should just go to prove to them you aren’t a loser. Oh, and show off your arm candy!

    • Christopher De Voss April 24, 2013 at 11:10 PM #

      I think you’re are right. I’ll show off my skittles.


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