The After Christmas Drinking Game + Bonus Cheese Rant

28 Dec

The After Christmas Drinking Game

Take A Drink…

…each time your kids tell you that they are bored even though they just got a bunch of new stuff from Santa Claus

…for each creative presentation of the left over Christmas ham for the next three lunch and dinners

…for each store the wife or girlfriend wants to hit to get next year’s Christmas decorations at 75% off, even though you will pack those away someplace and forget you bought them

…for every person that asks you, “So, how was your Christmas?”

…every time you have to vacuum up fallen needles from the Christmas tree as it slowly sheds itself to death in your living room

…for each fruit cake you throw away

…for each gift you find later that was hidden so well that it never made it under the Christmas tree

…for every time someone says, “This Christmas was pretty good, but next Christmas let’s…”

…for every Christmas present you didn’t really want and you re-gift it to someone else

…for every re-gift you receive

…for every time someone asks you why you weren’t at so and so’s Christmas party, when in fact the reason is you were never invited in the first place

—for every time Grandpa passes out in the lounge chair and you fear that he is actually dead


Now forget all that drinking nonsense, because what I was really wondering is if all the cheese flavors of the world have been discovered. Do we have every possible cheese taste unearthed, or is there new cheese sensations yet to be discovered out there?

How do you invent a cheese flavor anyway?

I don’t know.

I really want to invent a new cheese flavor. I don’t know how to make cheese, but that’s what Google is for, right?

Maybe something smokey, or baconey, or cheeseburgerey…cheese that tastes like a cheeseburger…and then when you add the cheeseburger cheese to a cheeseburger, it tastes like a double cheeseburger.

I’ll work on it some more…

17 Responses to “The After Christmas Drinking Game + Bonus Cheese Rant”

  1. naughtynefarious December 28, 2012 at 7:56 AM #

    ‘…for each fruit cake you throw away’ – does this include the two legged variety?

  2. H.E. ELLIS December 28, 2012 at 8:03 AM #

    That Grandpa bit actually happened to me! I’d like to add, “For every Jewish friend that I forget is Jewish and then I say something about Christmas and then they verbally hand me my ass.”

  3. peachyteachy December 28, 2012 at 8:25 AM #

    I was embarrassingly thrilled when I saw that your post included a cheese rant. I am far too fascinated by the world of cheese. To the point of being a cheese dork. Please keep me posted on the R & D as you launch your cheese crafting career.

    • Christopher De Voss December 28, 2012 at 10:34 PM #

      I will… I may even name a cheese after you…

  4. MissFourEyes December 28, 2012 at 11:57 AM #

    Cheeseburger flavored cheese? Yes! Do this, I volunteer to be your taste tester!

  5. Christopher De Voss December 28, 2012 at 10:35 PM #

    Donald Trump

  6. Maddie Cochere December 28, 2012 at 11:16 PM #

    Come back to Ohio. I will take you to Heini’s Cheese House for inspiration.

  7. The Bumble Files December 29, 2012 at 2:15 PM #

    So, how was your Christmas? Oh, looks like I need to take a drink. Good luck on the cheese! How’s your move going? I’m so excited for you guys.

  8. David Stewart December 30, 2012 at 8:40 AM #

    I think most of the undiscovered cheeses are probably on the “extremely ripe and smelly” side of the spectrum. However, if you can make a ham-flavored cheese, I might buy that. Makes a ham and cheese sandwich that much easier to make (…because it’s so hard now).

    • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2012 at 8:50 AM #

      Yes, but even the easiest things can be made easier.

      • David Stewart December 30, 2012 at 9:00 AM #

        True. Someday they will make cheese that tastes like a ham and cheese sandwich…with a Coke on the side. Then we will know that the human race has made it.

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