The Formula’s Of Life

Math equations and formulas run our daily lives, whether we realize it or not. Subconsciously your brain is constantly at work producing algebraic ways of dealing with life’s little and grand problems. You don’t know you’re doing it, your brain just does it.

If you’re a man, you’re in constant indecision and need these formulas to balance every day tasks.

Here are some situations where these formulas come into play:

(And you thought Algebra was a waste of time!)

    When Asking For A Tool You Can’t Remember The Name Of:
The Formula:

Size + Airplane Part + Bolt/Screw Name + Tool Type

Example:

1 & ¼ Wing Screw Ratchet or 9mm Propeller Nut Wrench

 

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     When Having A Secret Ingredient In A Recipe:

The Formula:

Any Country Or People + Adjective + Color + Vegetable or Fruit.
Example:

Japanese Sweet Purple Asparagus or Australian Sour Blue Pineapples

 

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   When Naming Your Own Microbrew:
The Formula:

Any City Or Place + Animal Body Part  + Type Of Beer.
Example:

West Side Bear Claw Pale Ale or New York Platypus Foot Amber

 

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  When Nick-Naming A Famous Sports Play:
The Formula:

Determiner + Adjective + A Last Name + “ski” + Sports Action
Example:

The Great Buddowski Slap or The Big Smithski Pass

 

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 When Naming An Elderly Dog:
The Formula:

Adjective + Old – “D” + Color (except rule: can be a southern stereotype)
Example:

Big Ol’ Blue or Great Ol’ Yella

 

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 For Picking Out A Porn To Watch:
The Formula:

(Boobs * X) / (Penis * Y) = Time Before Turning Off

 

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 For Buying A Car:

The Formula:

Cool Factor/(Mpg) > Price – Free Floor Mats

 

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 Determining When To Quit Playing A Video Game:
The Formula:

x/number of kills * <10 year old or > 45 year old = When To Throw The Controller Through The TV

 

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 Should You Take A Chick Home From The Bar:
The Formula:

Number of Drinks + Last Call/How Many Times She Laughs At Your Jokes – The Number Of Times She Touches Your Leg Or Arm = Is There Anyone Else Left In The Bar/ Her Weight

 

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 When To Ask For Directions From A Stranger:
The Formula:

Are You Lost * Wife (Girlfriend) In The Car = Over My Dead Body You’ll Ask For Directions – Act Like A Man Damnit!