Things I Wished My Smartphone Would Do…

29 Oct

Things I Wished My Smartphone Would Do…

(Redneck translation: Things I Wish My Cell Phone Done Did!)

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, sure, Smartphones are really cool and all, with their technology, and their apps, and the texting, and the music, and the TV….

Annnnnnnd sure they are improving them all the time with the better screen resolution,  and the faster processors, and the iPhone version X coming out every six months…

…but I still want more.

Maybe some everyday household uses as well could be built into the phones, such as:

Electric Razor

TV Remote

Projection TV

Keys For My Car

A Comb

Knife and Fork. (I realize you need two phones.)

Portable Paint Brush

Bottle Opener

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43 Responses to “Things I Wished My Smartphone Would Do…”

  1. Sword-chinned bitch October 29, 2012 at 3:40 PM #

    Love the knife and fork and the can opener!

  2. Brother Jon October 29, 2012 at 3:50 PM #

    You know, I’ve seen a tablet with a TV remote app, so I’m sure cell phones aren’t that far away.

    Question? I hear that Florida is the only state where the more north you go, the more southern you get. I might have asked this before, but is this true?

    • davidhardingblogs October 29, 2012 at 4:06 PM #

      All awesome ideas! I’d also like to use a smartphone as a bar of soap, toilet paper and shampoo dispenser so never again would one need to be asked “why are you taking that in there?!”

      • Christopher De Voss October 29, 2012 at 4:25 PM #

        Would you still put it next to your head after using it as toilet paper?

      • davidhardingblogs October 29, 2012 at 5:20 PM #

        Umm… haven’t thought that one through… it probably wouldn’t be very absorbant either…

    • Christopher De Voss October 29, 2012 at 4:27 PM #

      Orlando is not very “Southern”. We are very Spanish. To the North and South of us is Southern, except Miami and Key West.

  3. Christopher De Voss October 29, 2012 at 4:59 PM #

    I’ve dropped my phone in the tub before. No bueno…actually, no work-o.

  4. Maggie O'C October 29, 2012 at 5:33 PM #

    I bet cell phones will do plenty of those someday. I still think the bottle opener is the most important, a Swiss Army Phone.

  5. Maddie Cochere October 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM #

    Love the electric razor and the accompanying picture. 🙂

  6. jayne ayres October 30, 2012 at 12:12 AM #

    I’d like a vacuum or computer cleaner – UV Ray beam and one of those sticky apps that will remove lint from your clothes. Thanks.

    • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 12:16 AM #

      I’ll get right on it. (The vacuum will have to be bagless)

      • jayne ayres October 30, 2012 at 12:22 AM #

        … while you’re at it, can it have a transporter to the US Enterprise? Beam Me Up Chris.

      • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 12:27 AM #

        I’ve been working on it. Small glitch. Everyone that beams up, ends up naked. Not really sure if I’m going to fix this or not.

      • jayne ayres October 30, 2012 at 12:58 AM #

        Oh, after a few shocks, I think you’ll fix it. Sometimes mystery is GOOD thing. It adds anticipation. Convinced yet?

      • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 1:21 AM #

        Nope. I like to live on the edge.

      • jayne ayres October 30, 2012 at 1:23 AM #

        LOL!

  7. Bumba October 30, 2012 at 1:05 AM #

    Very cute. We enjoyed. And I’m glad you stayed away from the toilet jokes. Altho perhaps you could use a smart phone to ………

  8. Zen A. October 30, 2012 at 3:06 AM #

    Your post reminded me of this phone: http://pomegranatephone.com/

    Doesn’t have all the functions you wanted, but it does come close! I pined for it for a long time before eventually realising it was a hoax, haha.

    • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 7:37 AM #

      If I only knew how to code in Flash…that was pretty funny!

    • workspousestory October 30, 2012 at 7:55 AM #

      I need to have it.

      • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 8:28 AM #

        Takes great pictures is my understanding.

      • workspousestory October 30, 2012 at 8:48 AM #

        It’s more the harmonica for me.

  9. Jen and Tonic October 30, 2012 at 3:11 AM #

    I need a cellphone that will make a 2AM run to Jack in the Box when I’m drunk, and in need of their tasty tacos.

    • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 7:34 AM #

      We don’t have Jack In The Box in Florida, but I ate there once when I was in Las Vegas. Pretty good, except for the scary giant head mascot plastered everywhere.

      • Jen and Tonic October 30, 2012 at 11:32 AM #

        You don’t have Jack in the Box?! What do you guys eat when you’re drunk?! Denny’s or Taco Bell?

      • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 8:22 PM #

        IHOP

      • Jen and Tonic October 30, 2012 at 8:30 PM #

        You mean “IHOPe I make it through the night without dying of food poisoning”?

      • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 11:06 PM #

        What you don’t like pancakes?

  10. gingerfightback October 30, 2012 at 7:16 AM #

    Ironing clothes would be cool too

  11. workspousestory October 30, 2012 at 7:41 AM #

    I’m in for the projector and paintbrush, totally.
    But, re: car key? Get a bmw, they have a cool button instead of the key. I smile every time I use it 😉

    • Christopher De Voss October 30, 2012 at 7:44 AM #

      That is cool, but the whole motion of the thing made me giggle. Just picture it in your head…see you’re giggling.

      • workspousestory October 30, 2012 at 7:47 AM #

        Hmmm…. giggling is sort of smiling so it just proves my point! ps. But in fact the button is ultra-cosmic and magical, not funny! Pff.

  12. Giggles McGill Jill October 30, 2012 at 8:12 PM #

    Some phones actually are getting projectors in them!

    http://www.neowin.net/news/samsung-galaxy-beam-combines-phone-with-projector

    They started a couple years ago, apparently it wasn’t very good quality though.

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