In Honor Of Breast Cancer Awareness Month

15 Oct

October is the month to recognize Boob Cancer.

I think it was the great Biz Marke* that once said, “Boobs make the world go ’round, bitch.”

One of my favorite charities is Rock Pink.  Check ’em out.

In honor of saving Women’s Breasts’s’ses I have assembled some little known boob facts. It took a lot of time, effort, and endless hours of looking at boobs to compile this list, so please enjoy:

1) The average woman has two boobs.

 Weird, but true. Sub fact to this is that there are never more than two. (That scene from Total Recall was not real.) 

2) Motorboating, a term that refers to sticking one’s face in between two breasts and pretending you’re** making bubbles in water, while shaking your head back and forth, was invented in the early 1800s.

France lays claim to the invention of motorboating, which was called: bateau à moteur. However, it has been widely proven to actually be invented in America by founding father Ben Franklin. At the time it was called; Paddling a canoe like you’re sinking. And instead of today’s : Brrrrrrrrr noise that you make with your lips, you made a Wishwishwishwish noise.

It has been modified over the years to bring it into modern times.

3) Man Boobs are becoming quite common. They first started appearing in the late ’80s and have been gaining un-popularity ever since.

— Man Boobs are not as sexy as their counterpart female versions. Men however can also get Breast Cancer, sporting man boob or not.

4) The smallest and largest boobs on record were held by the same woman!

— Stella Gray, now age 45, was lucky enough to be able to cop a feel of Abby Westmester’s -A’s and Norma Stitz’s  102ZZZ’s in the same day! When Stella was interviewed on the event, she had this to say,

“Well, we were sitting on the subway when it suddenly made a quick stop. I was thrown into Mrs. Stitz’s breasts quite by accident, but they did help cushion the blow of the sudden jolt of the train stopping. As I was trying to get to my feet, I reached up to support myself by inadvertently touching Mrs. Westmester’s chest, whom I thought to be a very cold boy. (Think about it.)”

5)   Women of all cultures, races, and religions have boobs.

— It’s true. I have counted something like 1,045,673,389,486,390,847*** boobs so far…and there are still more out there. You can find boobs in your community, in your neighborhood, at the mall, on TV, at a hockey game, near a restaurant…everywhere! I once saw boobs at a dog show!


Mostly because I would never go to a dog show!

*Not sure if he really said that
** See, I’m a real writer now!
*** The joke being the odd number.

18 Responses to “In Honor Of Breast Cancer Awareness Month”

  1. laketta October 15, 2012 at 3:18 PM #

    Reblogged this on Business Soup.

  2. becca3416 October 15, 2012 at 3:20 PM #

    I don’t know what you are talking about. I find man boobs to be totally irresistible on opposite day.

    • Christopher De Voss October 15, 2012 at 3:24 PM #

      Opposite day kicks everyone’s ass.

  3. Doggy's Style October 15, 2012 at 3:43 PM #

    Reblogged this on Doggy's Style and commented:
    You gotta love it.

  4. davidhardingblogs October 15, 2012 at 3:53 PM #

    You’re historical facts were very interesting and the quotes were relevant. Congratulations on a well researched piece.

    • Christopher De Voss October 15, 2012 at 4:09 PM #

      I was nervous you wouldn’t like it…yay!

  5. The Bumble Files October 15, 2012 at 4:01 PM #

    I think I’ll just touch my boobs right now. Really, thanks for supporting the breasts!

    • Christopher De Voss October 15, 2012 at 4:04 PM #

      I think that is a wonderful idea!

  6. Madame Weebles October 15, 2012 at 8:13 PM #

    Your dedication is so admirable.

  7. Christopher De Voss October 15, 2012 at 10:58 PM #

    Boobs. Beautiful.

  8. jiltaroo October 16, 2012 at 3:02 AM #

    That is a boobylicious post.

    • Christopher De Voss October 16, 2012 at 7:17 AM #

      I am a fan.

  9. The Good Greatsby October 16, 2012 at 9:45 AM #

    Thank you for doing your part to not only raise breast cancer awareness, but also raise breast awareness.

    • Christopher De Voss October 16, 2012 at 9:57 AM #

      Well, I need a place to rest my head…so it’s an important subject for me.

  10. rebecca2000 October 24, 2012 at 1:20 PM #

    Hahaha I love this. 🙂 Doggy Style Suggest I come read this post because of my post today. Thanks for the laugh.

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