My Simplistic Review Of Boardwalk Empire (Season 3 Only)

12 Oct

*Warning: Spoiler Alert*

My Simplistic Review Of Boardwalk Empire (Season 3 Only):

It sucks.

The End.

Oh, ok.

Boardwalk Empire (Season 3 only) is chalk full of dialogue. If you like to listen to a lot of people talking about things you don’t understand or even have the vague notion of what is going on..or if you like rewinding a scene six times over so that you can try to figure out who that character is and if you have seen them before, then Boardwalk Empire is the show for you.

Seriously, why do they dress everyone the same?

The End.

Boardwalk Empire used to be a great show about the Prohibition Era starring Steve Buscemi and a bunch of unknown people…except for one guy who I saw play a creepy dude that killed a family in a movie once. At the end of Season 2, they killed that guy, whose name was Jimmy in the show, thus setting up the suckitude that has become Season 3. I recommend watching Seasons 1 and 2, and then pretending that the show got cancelled. I would even recommend walking around and telling your friends that you “can’t believe they cancelled Boardwalk Empire, it was so good!” And how you wish they renewed it for a third season. When your friends tell you there is a third season, scream: Noooooo! and start pulling on your hair like it’s on fire and run out of the room.

You bastards pay me nothing. I do this shit for free.

My Simplistic Review Of Boardwalk Empire (Season 3 Only):

It sucks.

The End.

Some “revealing” swimsuits from the show.

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27 Responses to “My Simplistic Review Of Boardwalk Empire (Season 3 Only)”

  1. RFL October 12, 2012 at 3:32 PM #

    I really like your post-its from the editors. I watched the first season, but I haven’t seen two or three, so thanks for the warning on three!

  2. becca3416 October 12, 2012 at 3:46 PM #

    Second girl from the left must be a huge slut.

    • Christopher De Voss October 12, 2012 at 11:15 PM #

      That’s my mom!

      • becca3416 October 13, 2012 at 10:08 AM #

        You’re mom is very promiscuous. That’s how you were invented.

      • Christopher De Voss October 13, 2012 at 11:31 AM #

        ouch!

  3. Sword-chinned bitch October 12, 2012 at 3:54 PM #

    I always wondered about this show. It’s on cable and I only have basic cable so I can’t watch it. I suppose I’m ahead of the game. Keep the reviews coming!

    • Christopher De Voss October 12, 2012 at 10:41 PM #

      My simplistic reviews always amaze and delight.

  4. Dotty Headbanger October 12, 2012 at 4:31 PM #

    Dear Chris,

    I’m the same as Swordy, I only have Freeview so I haven’t seen it – I refuse to pay more for my telly, we pay enough for our TV Licence as it is.

    Love Dotty xxx

    • Christopher De Voss October 12, 2012 at 10:41 PM #

      Love HBO shows. Worth every penny.

  5. Maddie Cochere October 12, 2012 at 5:59 PM #

    Ooh, pink borders and shiny paper clips.

    • Christopher De Voss October 12, 2012 at 10:40 PM #

      The manly stuff!

  6. Christopher De Voss October 12, 2012 at 10:43 PM #

    Oh, Boner. Go to bed! Or I’ll hammer you down!

  7. gingerfightback October 13, 2012 at 7:23 AM #

    I haven’t seen series 2 yet and Jimmy dies? I liked him as well. Shame. I won’t tell the wife. Is Kelly MacDonald still in it?

    • Christopher De Voss October 13, 2012 at 7:26 AM #

      Damn! I’m sorry. I should have put spoiler alert in the post. Going to edit that now. Which one is Kelly MacDonald?

      • gingerfightback October 13, 2012 at 7:38 AM #

        She was the Woman who became Buscemi’s moll in series 1 – Irish, couple of kids and was beaten by her old man. She is married ot the drummer in a Scottish Rock Band (not in Boardwalk Empire but in real life). I think I will stop now.

      • Christopher De Voss October 13, 2012 at 7:43 AM #

        Yes, yes she is…although you never know who is going to bite it on the show.

      • gingerfightback October 13, 2012 at 7:44 AM #

        After hearing about Jimmy…..

      • Christopher De Voss October 13, 2012 at 7:45 AM #

        Exactly. And the last episode I watched in Season 3 was pretty good…so we will see….

  8. Love and Lunchmeat October 13, 2012 at 11:43 AM #

    I haven’t watched any of it, but I wanted to see it. Until this. Now, I can tell I’d be better off watching paint dry, or perhaps just reruns of Mad Men.

    • Christopher De Voss October 13, 2012 at 12:26 PM #

      No watch it. Incredibly good. Just this season doesn’t compare to the first two.

  9. The Bumble Files October 15, 2012 at 11:54 AM #

    Is this why I can’t get into this show? I’ve tried several times to watch it because it’s supposed to be so good. Yet I just end up feeling like an idiot because I can’t figure what the hell is going on in this show. The guy with the mask is creepy. That I know for sure.

    • Christopher De Voss October 15, 2012 at 12:03 PM #

      It is good, but you do need a scorecard.

  10. Carrie Rubin October 15, 2012 at 12:13 PM #

    Good. Now I don’t feel guilty for not watching it.

    • Christopher De Voss October 15, 2012 at 12:21 PM #

      Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a good show. But it’s not for everyone.

  11. Jillian October 22, 2012 at 6:03 PM #

    Serious lolz. (Though I’ll admit to not reading completely through as I didn’t want spoilers – but the editor comment notes: hilarious! ^.^)

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