Let’s Go Shopping Or Finally My Unicorn Fantasies Can Be Fulfilled

3 Oct

This is a busy time of year…lot’s of birthday’s coming up, Christmas is around the corner, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is in October,  International Orphan Disease Month is in November…so many things to buy for loved ones and orphans.

Here are some of my findings while browsing the Internet:

(you may have to click on the picture to make it bigger…stupid WordPress)

Hey, Glen. I have a credit card only. Oh, and do you deliver?

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Hard to shop for road crew person worker in your family? Maybe always losing a child in the mall? Just like the high belt/suspenders look?

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I know someone who could use a vaguely disturbing unicorn mask.

And of course, you need the squirrel head mask as well…kind of resembles my neighbor a little. Besides you can’t have a unicorn without a squirrel right? They go hand in hand like cars and washing machines.

Let’s check the reviews:

Cool. I have so many unicornical fantasies myself. I bet I know who’s wish list this is on!

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This would be better if it made my money smell like bacon whenever I took it out of the wallet.

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If your measuring that many poppy seeds, be sure there is not a drug test in your future!

And if anyone happens to be shopping for me…

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23 Responses to “Let’s Go Shopping Or Finally My Unicorn Fantasies Can Be Fulfilled”

  1. La La October 3, 2012 at 3:18 PM #

    That unicorn mask is creepy and I swear I will wake your ass up with it every day for the rest of your life if that’s what you got me for my birthday.

    Otherwise, a fine post indeed.

  2. becca3416 October 3, 2012 at 3:46 PM #

    Love how you brought that one home with the boob candy.

    • Christopher De Voss October 3, 2012 at 11:22 PM #

      Shouldn’t expect any less. I try to end everything with boobs..

      • becca3416 October 4, 2012 at 9:08 AM #

        It’s your trademark.

  3. dockfam October 3, 2012 at 5:21 PM #

    OMG I MUST HAVE the unicorn mask. I was just telling my husband how much I loved unicorns the other day…to which he replied “remember that movie with Tom Cruise where he was trying to catch the unicorn?” Errrrr…..nope.

    • Christopher De Voss October 3, 2012 at 11:23 PM #

      I remember the movie sort of…well just that it had Tom Cruise and a unicorn in it. I think it was called, “Cocktail”

      • dockfam October 4, 2012 at 12:31 PM #

        Aaaahhh maybe that’s what he was talking about haha

  4. David Stewart October 3, 2012 at 8:14 PM #

    Finally, a measuring cup that fits my needs. I’m tired of recipes telling me to “add 10,000 drops of water and mix with 4 billion grains of flour.”

    • Christopher De Voss October 3, 2012 at 11:25 PM #

      I know! Annoying! Especially when cooking meth. (Can you tell I’m a Breaking Bad fan?)

  5. Carr Party of Five October 3, 2012 at 10:01 PM #

    Dear Chris,
    I bet Dotty would LOVE this post. It’s right up her alley….but where is she? I’m starting to worry. And….the bacon wallet? I found myself singin…♫I can bring home the bacon…..in the BaCON wallET…(enjoli)…cuz I’m a woMAN…..ENJOLI!!!♫ Can you hear how I sung that?
    I seriously crack myself up.
    😉
    Lis

    • Christopher De Voss October 3, 2012 at 11:27 PM #

      I don’t know where Dotty is…but she is a hermit, remember? Bacon wallet rules! Nice singing!

  6. Maddie Cochere October 3, 2012 at 10:48 PM #

    Bacon wallet for my husband for sure. Thank you so much for doing the legwork, Chris! I’ll be sure to put a few slices in it before wrapping.

  7. gingerfightback October 4, 2012 at 6:51 AM #

    I like the look of the squirrel mask.

  8. Love & Lunchmeat October 4, 2012 at 9:01 AM #

    The real genius has yet to be invented. Bacon cologne. And it’s already so full of nitrates, it’ll probably last forever. (Don’t worry. I’ll still remember all of you when I’m a Bacon Cologne Millionaire.)

  9. Rhonda October 4, 2012 at 10:40 AM #

    You may just have discovered a way to save money Christopher. If that wallet DID make money smell like bacon…how many men do you know would let it go? I’m thinking….none.
    As for the boobie treats….yay you. How special. I can only imagine, but just how long did it take you to find THOSE magic mounds?

    • Christopher De Voss October 4, 2012 at 11:39 PM #

      That stuff just kind of finds me.

      • Rhonda October 5, 2012 at 6:24 AM #

        What a lucky fella. A real Boob magnet. Nice

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