The Work Week According To…

20 Sep

An Optimist’s View Of The Work Week

Monday – Fresh start! Time to get things done!
Tuesday – Yay! At least it’s not Monday!
Wednesday – Week is almost over!
Thursday – Tomorrow is Friday!
Friday – *singing Loverboy’s “Everybody’s working for the weekend”

A Pessimist’s View Of The Work Week

Monday – Ugh
Tuesday – Only One Day Away From Monday
Wednesday – Why is it only the middle of the week? Why is this week soooo long?
Thursday – Ugh, Not Friday
Friday – Damn, in two days it will be Monday again.
 

A Serial Killer’s View Of The Work Week

Monday – Got to kill someone. The voices are telling me to…
Tuesday – Do they know it’s me?
Wednesday – They know it’s me!
Thursday – I need a new place to hide the body!
Friday – Got to kill someone. The voices are telling me to…
 

A WordPress Addict’s View Of The Work Week

Monday – Oh, god! What am I going to write about?
Tuesday – Did my post suck? I only got three likes!
Wednesday – Checking stats….checking stats….checking stats…where’s Zimbabwe anyway?
Thursday – Got to catch up on everyone else’s blogs!
Friday – Why did the turduckin recipe get freshly pressed again?
 

Your Pet’s View Of The Work Week

Monday –
Dog – Let’s Play
Cat – Feed Me!
Fish – What’s that on the other side of the bowl?
Tuesday –
Dog – I love you
Cat – Who are you again?
Fish – Now that I’m on this side of the bowl, I wonder what’s that on the other side of the bowl?
Wednesday –
Dog – New Chew Toy?! OMG!!
Cat – I need my litter changed. ASAP!
Fish – I love when food falls from the sky!
Thursday –
Dog – The baby wants to play! Yay!
Cat – Keep that drooly kid away from me!
Fish – Is that a hand in my fish tank?
Friday –
Dog – I’m sorry I pooped on the carpet.
Cat – Dog is eating my turds like Butterfingers. Stupid dog.
Fish – *Floating at the top of the tank dead.
 

A Clumsy Mountain Climber Who Just Reached The Top Of Mt Everest, Only To Trip Over The Side Of It, View Of The Work Week

 
Monday – Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Tuesday – ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Wednesday – ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Thursday – oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Friday – *splat
 

A Gynecologist’s View Of The Work Week

Monday – Vagina
Tuesday – Vagina
Wednesday – Vagina
Thursday – Vagina
Friday – Golf 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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43 Responses to “The Work Week According To…”

  1. Brother Jon September 20, 2012 at 3:42 PM #

    Would there be the opposite for a golfer? Particularly one in mind?

    • Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:41 PM #

      Like a certain feline golfer maybe?

      Monday – Golf
      Tuesday – Vagina
      Wednesday – Golf
      Thursday -Vagina
      Friday – Golf, then Vagina

      • Brother Jon September 20, 2012 at 11:44 PM #

        Perhaps. Looks like there’s too much Golf in there though. Either way, it’s in the hole.

      • Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:52 PM #

        Ohhhh! Brother Jon in the house! Don’t forget to tip your waiters!

      • La La September 21, 2012 at 5:23 PM #

        hahaha, he’ll be here all week, folks

  2. becca3416 September 20, 2012 at 4:09 PM #

    Ok, this is officially my favorite post. Eating turds like butterfingers sounds like it should be in some sort of domesticated animal rap song.

    • Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:45 PM #

      Just make sure there is a siren in the domesticated animal rap song so it scares the living crap out of me while I’m driving.

      • becca3416 September 21, 2012 at 9:02 AM #

        I was already planning to do so. It is standard these days, is it not?

  3. boomiebol September 20, 2012 at 4:26 PM #

    I almost choked laughing. This gets freshly pressed in my books, good great stuff

    • Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:47 PM #

      The day I get freshly pressed, is the day I quit! (empty, passive/aggressive threat)

  4. Mike is Happy September 20, 2012 at 4:31 PM #

    Thursday – I hate you for coming up with this before me.

    • Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:47 PM #

      That’s what I usually say when I read your stuff!

  5. stuffitellmysister September 20, 2012 at 4:59 PM #

    Congrats…..you’ve made me LOL yet again! I agree with the above comment….FRESHLY PRESSED! 🙂

  6. Roxie September 20, 2012 at 6:37 PM #

    hugely entertaining! yes, will reblog this fer shore! you ROCK!! 😉

  7. The Bumble Files September 20, 2012 at 10:29 PM #

    You are so witty!

  8. Pigeon Heart September 20, 2012 at 10:30 PM #

    hmm if I had a job it would be like this…
    mon- hire new secretary and send sexy secretary man to fetch soy decaf lattes. it’s monday. Im exhausted from dazzling ambassadors.
    tues-practice dance to charm the Chinese business men for video conference
    wed- hump secretary in the name of the midweek
    thurs- embezzle a little more money from company assets for weekend
    fri- prepare electrolyte transfusion sacks for weekend bender to come. start looking for new secretary.

    • Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:51 PM #

      Wow, you really burn through the secretaries. You’re going to need a temp agency.

  9. Christopher De Voss September 20, 2012 at 11:44 PM #

    Ha Ha!

    our weeks are eerily similar!

  10. Bumba September 21, 2012 at 1:11 AM #

    Excellente! And extra kudos to you for not using the hump day “joke”.

  11. motivationalrants September 21, 2012 at 2:03 AM #

    Hahaha…great post,love the humor!! 🙂

  12. gingerfightback September 21, 2012 at 3:30 AM #

    I shed a tear for the rock climber.

    • Christopher De Voss September 21, 2012 at 7:48 AM #

      Me too. Amazing he even made it to the top….

  13. aFrankAngle September 21, 2012 at 10:04 AM #

    Well done … a something with endless possibilities.

    • Christopher De Voss September 21, 2012 at 11:12 PM #

      I think so. It was hard to stop. Had to force myself to…

  14. David Stewart September 22, 2012 at 8:23 AM #

    That WordPress addict’s week looked a little too familiar. I think I may have a problem…

    • Christopher De Voss September 22, 2012 at 8:25 AM #

      Only for talented WordPress-ers…the rest of us just bang the keyboard like monkeys and hit publish.

  15. Rhonda September 23, 2012 at 7:49 AM #

    The Work Week According To A Housewife

    monday – shit it’s monday
    monday – shit it’s monday
    monday – shit it’s monday
    monday – shit it’s monday
    monday – shit it’s monday
    monday – shit it’s monday
    sunday – shit tomorrow’s monday

    everyday is is either monday or the day before monday – wtf

    • Christopher De Voss September 23, 2012 at 8:27 AM #

      I could be a housewife. I would embrace the Monday!

      • Rhonda September 23, 2012 at 9:04 AM #

        well, you just might. monday is clean the bathroom day…

      • Christopher De Voss September 23, 2012 at 9:26 AM #

        boo!

  16. Aspergers Girls September 24, 2012 at 6:48 PM #

    Very clever. 🙂

  17. Maggie O'C September 27, 2012 at 7:45 PM #

    I feel bad that I’m just seeing this and it’s Thursday. This could have changed my week. Now I’ll never know. Stupid week.

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