Randoms Pt 15

27 Aug

I’m doing the laundry, a chore I hate immensely. While my head was in the dryer I hear the Toddler call from the other room:

“Daddy!”

Me: “What?”

Toddler: “Grandma gave me a surprise yesterday…”

Me: “Oh really. What?”

Toddler: “Jesus!”

Me: “Oh. Okay. Wait, what did you say?”

Toddler: “I said Mommy gave me a surprise yesterday. Chuck-E-Cheese’s!”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’ve got to get my hearing checked.”

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Words of Wisdom From The Teenage Boy:

I’m going to get a tattoo of a shirt, so it looks like I’m wearing a shirt even when I’m not. You can’t go wrong with a shirt tattoo.

Me:

Except when you want to wear a different shirt…

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The Teenage girl is obsessed with a boy band called One Direction. She has been obsessed with them for a long time.

A really long time.

A really, really, really, long time.

So she was looking at her Twitter the other day and says this out loud,

“(One of the boys in the band) He has perfect collarbones and he is ruining them with tattoos. And he has perfect arms and he is ruining those with tattoos of random objects that are important.”

Wife: Like refrigerators and toasters?

Then she shows us a picture of his perfect collar bones.

And his arms.

Me: What the hell are perfect collarbones?

—–

I like to send random texts to my friends because I think it’s funny.

They…not so much.

Here are some recent messages:

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32 Responses to “Randoms Pt 15”

  1. Maggie O'C August 27, 2012 at 3:17 PM #

    You should be friends with my brother then you two could stop harassing the rest of us.

  2. Maggie O'C August 27, 2012 at 3:18 PM #

    Oh! and enough with One Direction, they need to go away.

    • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 4:27 PM #

      Don’t say that to my daughters, they will kill you with dirty death stares!

      • Maggie O'C August 27, 2012 at 6:51 PM #

        One of my girls has pictures of those boys all over her walls and I could swear one of those boys is a girl.

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 6:57 PM #

        Haha…it’s the newest boy band. You can’t tell me you didn’t like one…New Kids On The Block, N’SYNC, Backstreet Boys…fess up…who was it?

      • Maggie O'C August 27, 2012 at 7:00 PM #

        I’m actually technically too old for boy bands although I loved Andy Gibb and Shawn Cassidy back in the day. Confession: I saw NKOTB with the Pointer Sisters at the Bahston Gahden in ’89.

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 7:12 PM #

        Whoa Oh Oh Oh…Hanging Tough!

      • Maggie O'C August 27, 2012 at 7:15 PM #

        You should see my buffalo stance.

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 7:21 PM #

        Lost me there….

      • Maggie O'C August 27, 2012 at 7:22 PM #

        That’s the pose they do with their arms crossed. Sheesh way to be younger than me.

  3. Madame Weebles August 27, 2012 at 4:05 PM #

    Did you worry for a minute that Grandma was telling your son all about the Good News about Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior? Because I would have.

    Those texts are good. I’ll have to remember this idea, I have a lot of people I’d like to mess with.

    • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 4:30 PM #

      Feel free to use anything you liked…just be prepared for a lot of: what? huh? what are you talking about? are you drunk? send me a topless picture! (oh wait, that last one is me)

      • Madame Weebles August 27, 2012 at 5:41 PM #

        I’m glad you clarified that last one because I get a lot of texts asking me for topless pix. So it’s helpful to know who’s asking.

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 6:30 PM #

        And I’m still waiting…don’t know if you sent it yet…

      • Madame Weebles August 27, 2012 at 6:42 PM #

        I sent a whole bunch–you didn’t get them??

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 6:59 PM #

        Nope. Your going to have to resend them. Hopefully you didn’t send the first set to some Buddhist monks. You’ll make them break their vows of silence for sure.

  4. Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 4:26 PM #

    Especially all the gay guys. He is in the teenage homophob years at the moment.

  5. The Bumble Files August 27, 2012 at 9:12 PM #

    Whoa! You’ve been having too much fun I think 😉

    • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 9:32 PM #

      Isn’t that what life is about?

      • The Bumble Files August 27, 2012 at 9:38 PM #

        Yes, that and zombies? Seen any lately? Written about them? I’m really laughing. It’s a very funny post. It’s fun to confuse people.

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 9:53 PM #

        Worked on a new zombie story today actually. Zombies are everywhere. Especially at Walmart.

      • The Bumble Files August 27, 2012 at 10:14 PM #

        Ha! Well, I suspected. Now I know. Do you go there to get your facts? 🙂

      • Christopher De Voss August 27, 2012 at 10:20 PM #

        How could you not?

  6. RFL August 27, 2012 at 9:18 PM #

    Wish you’d posted a picture of perfect collarbones.

  7. workspousestory August 27, 2012 at 9:19 PM #

    Oh oh oh this made me cry with joy. But hey, some of your friends already see through you, eh? 😉

  8. Marian Green August 29, 2012 at 11:41 PM #

    I think I like Tim. : )

  9. davidhardingblogs August 30, 2012 at 5:39 AM #

    Best blog post. Ever!

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