Trashed Ideas::::::A Blog In Distress

17 Aug

(Side Note: If Marc Schuster was my writing teacher…he probably would have failed me…except this piece would have gotten an “A” based on title alone.)


Those of you who come around from time to time are going to find it hard to believe that I actually reject ideas for this blog….

Please stop snickering….

Ok, really. You don’t have to laugh that loud and that hearty.

No one really rolls on the floor laughing except apparently you.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. From time to time I get what I think is a good idea, and then have to trash it for whatever reason….

I would like you to leave the room now, spitting your drink out of your mouth and all over the dog in mock disbelief is not funny.

Well, okay…it’s a little funny.

Below is some rejected blog ideas:


~Animals That Would Have A Hard Time Masturbating (would include pictures and diagrams)

~The Tale Of Pancake Head (And his battle against his arch nemesis Sausage Hands)

~A Recipe For Monkey Bread (which in reality would end up being a recipe for jello with fruit floating in it. The problem is I would never get to see the poor person’s face who followed the recipe only to find him/herself with disgusting fruit filled jello instead of sweet, delicious, gooey, warm monkey bread. So the payoff wasn’t there for me. Selfish, I know.)

~A.D.D. Poems

(Would go something like this:

I love the way your hair smells
And the color of your eyes 
Love blooms eternal in your soul
Look, a squirrel )
~ Bruce (This was a story idea about a man named Bruce. His only ambition in life was to be the first man who could lick his own elbow. The story would take you from birth, through childhood, teenage years, marriage, divorce, and finally the death bed. Death himself would visit Bruce, where Bruce would tell Death about his life’s ambition to be the first man to lick his own elbow. Then Death would declare him silly, take his sickle, and slice off his arm a little above the elbow. Death would present the arm to Bruce, who would lick his elbow and die. In the movie version Jim Carrey would play Bruce and Samuel L Jackson would play Death.)

15 Responses to “Trashed Ideas::::::A Blog In Distress”

  1. Missus Tribble August 17, 2012 at 3:16 PM #

    Thank you – I am now trying to lick my own elbow. I can almost do it too (but I need a longer tongue)! 🙂

    • Christopher De Voss August 17, 2012 at 3:23 PM #

      Keep practicing…send pictures.

      • Missus Tribble August 17, 2012 at 4:40 PM #

        I shall, if I ever achieve it 😀

  2. Christopher De Voss August 17, 2012 at 3:24 PM #

    Thanks, that’s why we get along so well 😉

    • La La August 17, 2012 at 3:28 PM #

      Yeaaaah ya are.

  3. Christopher De Voss August 17, 2012 at 4:13 PM #

    Well…nothing is really trashed. If I get desperate for an idea, they will be at the top of the list.

  4. gingerfightback August 18, 2012 at 2:55 AM #

    Bruce looks promising – although Ben Stiller……?

  5. davidhardingblogs August 18, 2012 at 8:51 AM #

    Please, please, PLEASE do Pancake Head! You owe it to humanity! Pancake Head must be given the chance to live!

    • Christopher De Voss August 18, 2012 at 9:16 AM #

      All hail Pancake Head! (Alls I gots is the title…maybe some IHOP will inspire me.)

      • Christopher De Voss August 18, 2012 at 9:27 AM #

        Side note: Google image Pancake Head – funny. Google image Sausage Hands – not so funny

      • davidhardingblogs August 20, 2012 at 1:36 AM #

        IHOPe it does!

      • Christopher De Voss August 20, 2012 at 12:45 PM #

        I see what you did there….

        and you made me hungry.

  6. Dotty Headbanger August 20, 2012 at 3:51 PM #

    Dear Chris,

    Your poem is BRILLIANT. You need to write more of them.

    Love Dotty xxx

    • Christopher De Voss August 20, 2012 at 4:13 PM #

      I have had a lot of requests for that. I’m afraid they would all end in: Look a squirrel.

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