The Internet Slang Play

8 Aug

LOL, ROTFL, and BRB were sitting around the table playing cards. In walks their girlfriends, LMK, K, and OMG.

OMG: Oh my god, are you guys going to play cards all night? We are bored. We want to go out!

BRB: Excuse me. I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.

K: Okay.

OMG: Oh my god, I’m serious. I feel as trapped as a nun in a lesbian whorehouse.

LOL: (laughs a hearty loud laugh)

K: Okay. That was funny.

LMK: Ladies, let me know what you want to do…I’m up for anything.

OMG: Oh my god. I just want to dance. I want to dance with my friends. I want to dance and be free and get wasted.

ROTFL: The last time I saw you… (starts to snicker) dancing…(starts to laugh harder, slides out of his chair a little bit)…it looked like…(one knee hits the floor, he is holding his stomach because it’s starting to hurt from the laughing)…a drunk…(falls on the floor and rolls around laughing very hard) PENGUIN!

OMG: Oh my god, that is so mean.

K: Okay. That was mean. Okay!

LOL: (starts laughing again, out loud)

LMK: Let me know when you done laughing, so we can move on with our lives.

(LOL is in tears laughing and ROTFL is rolling on the floor holding his sides.)

K: Okay ladies, I just say we go without these jerks! Okay?

OMG: Oh my god, yes!

LMK: Let me know when you boys are ready to grow up! (snaps fingers)

(The ladies leave.)

BRB: (walks back in the room) What did I miss?

And scene.

—–

I thought I would share what I originally started to write and then scraped. Part of the problem I think is, I don’t watch football…so why I would attempt to write my idea of people being named after internet abbreviations into a football commentator’s commentary?

Stupidity.

Stupidity is the answer.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this, I guess I couldn’t bear to have it trashed forever or have it live in my drafts folder…looking at me like I had betrayed it’s birth…it’s chance to run free with the other blogs…

Anyway…here is the orphan:

Welcome to the opening high school football game between the South Orange Interwebs and the Meadow Creek HTTPs.

Let’s get right into the action as BRB kicks off for the Interwebs. MeMe receives and is quickly brought down on the 30 yard line.

The HTTPs have okay starting position as rookie quarterback, ROTFL takes the helm. We have a snap. ROTFL drops back in the pocket…and throws…OH! Intended receiver LOL just barely missed. A little too low of a throw by ROTFL. Second down…ROTFL drops back to throw again….connects with LOL this time! LOL is on the 50, LOL is on the 40, LOL to the 30, LOL…LOL…LOL…Touchdown! LOL! Score HTTPs! ROTFL to LOL for the TD!

HTTP kicker WTF signals he is ready to kick. WTF onside kick! I don’t know what WTF was thinking. An onside kick already? A poor decision by WTF. The Interwebs have the ball on the 40.

The Interwebs Quarterback OMG comes on the field. OMG might call it quits after this year, so he is defiantly looking to make this a stellar season. OMG recieves the snap and hands it off to ROTFLOLWBAG, who coincidently is ROTFL’s brother from the HTTPs. ROTFLOLWBAG runs it up the middle before he is brought down by IDK. IDK stats are sure to be looking good this year. IDK who had a baby this year, and is a new proud Daddy. OMG back at the line, hands it off to LMK. LMK looks confused. IDK is charging. LMK falls down. LMK loses yardage.

(And there is where I lost interest and realized it was going nowhere!)

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16 Responses to “The Internet Slang Play”

  1. Christopher De Voss August 8, 2012 at 4:03 PM #

    What was that quote from Get Him To The Greek? You might need a condom, because it’s a dirty mind, or it’s really dirty up there, or something like that….I’m really good at movie quotes.

  2. Rhonda August 8, 2012 at 11:12 PM #

    WTF?

  3. David Stewart August 8, 2012 at 11:21 PM #

    I love ROFL as a character. I can’t but laugh at him.

    • Christopher De Voss August 9, 2012 at 12:13 AM #

      While on the floor?

      • David Stewart August 10, 2012 at 1:29 PM #

        I like to imagine that everyone who writes ROFL is doing just that. It makes the world a very hilarious place.

      • Christopher De Voss August 10, 2012 at 3:57 PM #

        I wonder who was the first? “I’m so tired of writing this whole action out that I’m strangly doing. I need to abreviate!”

  4. Carr Party of Five August 9, 2012 at 11:18 AM #

    Dear Chris,
    You had me at….”I feel as trapped as a nun in a lesbian whorehouse”
    🙂
    Lis

    • Christopher De Voss August 10, 2012 at 8:02 AM #

      That needed a winky face!

      • Carr Party of Five August 10, 2012 at 9:49 AM #

        Dear Chris,
        I was worried about OVERdoing the winky, and now look. I’ve UNDERdone the winky.
        😉
        Lis

      • Christopher De Voss August 10, 2012 at 3:59 PM #

        No, no. That’s our thing. We have a thing now. It’s okay to tell your husband, it’s innocent. 😉

      • Carr Party of Five August 10, 2012 at 7:09 PM #

        Dear Chris,
        😉
        You are such a funny guy!!
        For real!!!
        Lis
        (!!!!!!!!) I like exclamations, too!!!
        There’s a Seinfeld about that!!!!!!!!

      • Christopher De Voss August 11, 2012 at 12:44 AM #

        Exclamations are good, but I like the winky faces the best, but your right…we need to switch it up every now and then. Don’t want this friendship to get stale.

      • Carr Party of Five August 11, 2012 at 9:43 AM #

        Dear Chris,
        I wonder what the world record is for comments and replies back and forth on someone’s blog.
        We should find out.
        I’ve always wanted to make the Guiness World Record book.
        😉
        !!
        Lis

      • Christopher De Voss August 11, 2012 at 10:57 AM #

        Do they even still publish that book?

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