Half A ‘Stache

3 Aug

Here’s what happened:

My friend at work was talking. He was working at the computer, with his profile to me. I was concentrating on what he was saying really hard because my friend is Haitian with quite a thick Haitian accent.

You may not realize it, but often times you look at a person’s mouth to help you comprehend someone when their first language is not English. At this point I notice his pencil thin mustache has suddenly turned into a Hitler style mustache.

Examples, if you are unfamiliar with mustache styles:

Vincent Price sporting the pencil thin mustache.

Hitler sporting the Hitler style mustache.

So I say,

“Stanley, (name changed to protect the innocent) do you know you shaved your mustache into a Hitler style mustache?”

And Stanley says back to me,

“Crrisss, what are you talking ’bout?” (That’s how he says my name.)

But suddenly it occurs to me, that he doesn’t have a Hitler mustache after all. I grab his face by the cheeks and turn it full view to mine.

“Crrisss, let go of my face!”

“Stanley!” I yell. “Why do you only have half a mustache??!!”

And he did. One side was completely shaved off, and the other was fully intact.

And the bastard wouldn’t tell me why he had only had half a mustache!

I pressed him for the next four hours on why he only had half a mustache.

Each story he told was more ridiculous than the last.

My proof (sort of…sorry bad picture):

Blue Arrow – mustache highway. Red Arrow – mustache graveyard. I don’t know why he is trying to kiss me in this picture.

So I wrote this song/poem in honor of this….weird….thing….

Your half mustache is so funny
One side is bare
And the other has hair
I don’t know why
And you won’t share
If you had post nasal drip
One side would be blocked
And the other
Would be completely runny
This happened yesterday…and it’s still a mystery to this very day.

11 Responses to “Half A ‘Stache”

  1. Maggie O'C August 3, 2012 at 3:28 PM #

    Who doesn’t tell you why they have half a mustached?!

    • Christopher De Voss August 3, 2012 at 3:40 PM #

      I work with weird people, it’s really the only reason I can stand my job at all.

  2. La La August 4, 2012 at 10:13 AM #

    Who wants a half mustache ride?

  3. graysonjack August 4, 2012 at 9:04 PM #

    Is it weird that i watch people’s mouths when they talk? Im like, really deaf. Your randomness in posts inspires me.

    • Christopher De Voss August 5, 2012 at 10:10 AM #

      Nope, that’s kind of how I noticed. Sad thing is, out of 40 of us, I was the only one who noticed. Does that make me observant or weird?

      • Rhonda August 7, 2012 at 12:16 AM #

        is this a trick question?

      • Christopher De Voss August 7, 2012 at 12:41 AM #

        You’re right…observant.

      • Rhonda August 7, 2012 at 12:44 AM #

        haha. yup, that’s what i thought. weird huh?

      • Christopher De Voss August 7, 2012 at 1:08 AM #

        You Baltimore women and your love of creepy… Hmmm… Maybe I should relocate….


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