An Error In Publishing

9 Jul

This little nonsense was in my drafts folder forever. It was something I wrote down one day in hopes that it might turned into a funny little diamond.

Sadly it stayed a piece of coal.

But I still kind of liked it, so I kept it in my drafts.

I was trying to find inspiration for something to write yesterday, when I pulled this up and reread it. There was a small grammatical error on it, a rarity for me because it’s usually a huge grammatical error, so I fixed it…and published it….accidently.

I meant to hit update.

Even though I found this piece somewhat amusing, it wasn’t publish amusing, so I was content just to keep it to myself.

I do think a handful of my close friends might find it extremely funny knowing me personally, but without that, I think it just reads as a strange, bizarre, “do you do drugs?”, thing.

I didn’t see a way to unpublish without deleting the whole thing…so now it’s out there, like a cat turd laying next to the litter box….with just a tiny bit of that rock looking litter on it, making it look like a turd from Tiffany’s.

The day I wrote this, I asked the Teenage Boy to read it and tell me what he thought. He read it, snickered a little, and said nothing.

“Well?” I asked.

“It’s not really funny until the last line,” he replied.

I paused and stared at him. He stared at me. I raised one eyebrow.

He said,

“What?!”

“So what your saying,” I said slowly. “Was that it wasn’t funny till the last line…like every joke in the world.”

“Yeah,” Teenager responded.

“Every heard of a punchline?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I shook my head, “Never mind. Thanks for the input.”

So with that…enjoy…or not.

It’s a free country.

—–

Hello?
*Adjusts microphone stand, makes it too short.*
Is this thing on?
*Looks around the room for reaction from audience. Doesn’t really get any. One person coughs*
Can anyone hear me?
*Blows into microphone several times*
Is this microphone on? Can you hear me in the back?
*Tries to adjust microphone cord. Knocks microphone off the stand. Ear piercing feedback from the speakers follows.*
Hello? Testing…1….2….3….4….
*Taps on microphone with finger*
Okay. I think everyone can hear me now.
*Looks crossed-eyed at the microphone, briefly falls asleep.*
Welcome to the annual meeting of: People Who Don’t Know How To Use A Microphone…

—————————————————————–

Hello?
*Adjusts submarine sandwich, makes a tomato fall on the floor.*
Is this thing on?
*Looks around the table for a napkin. Finds one and shreds it*
Can anyone hear me?
*Takes a bite. Mustard squirts on shirt*
Is this microphone on? Can you hear me in the back?
*Says this into the end of the submarine sandwich that has not been bit into*
Hello? Testing…1….2….3….4….
*Spills drink. Starts to cry*
Okay. I think everyone can hear me now.
*Looks crossed-eyed at the submarine sandwich, briefly falls asleep.*
Welcome to the annual meeting of: Crazy People Who Think Submarine Sandwiches Are Microphones….

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14 Responses to “An Error In Publishing”

  1. stuffitellmysister July 10, 2012 at 11:13 AM #

    Thanks so much for the humor you add to my days. There are some awards awaiting you, if you so choose, on my page today. Much appreciation! paula 🙂

  2. La La July 10, 2012 at 11:27 AM #

    Sometimes I think that in my own head, I am girl version of you.

    • Christopher De Voss July 10, 2012 at 12:53 PM #

      Then we are secret clones of each other…secret biochemical buddies…or S.B.B’s. Except you got the better body I’m sure.

  3. Rhonda July 10, 2012 at 10:56 PM #

    Either I’m retarded or the Teenager was. Or you are. Don’t have a clue…but I laughed through the whole damn thing. Oh wait, I’m drunk…maybe that’s why. Nah….this was damn funny.

    • Christopher De Voss July 10, 2012 at 11:13 PM #

      I am. Bottoms up! 🙂

      • Rhonda July 10, 2012 at 11:16 PM #

        phew….thought it was me! 😆
        bending the elbow as we speak. cheeeers. oops.

  4. David Stewart July 11, 2012 at 1:20 AM #

    “Spills drink. Starts to cry” For some reason this seemed hilarious to me. I could just see it. Great post.

  5. rayworth1973 May 22, 2013 at 12:15 AM #

    Ah, that punchline! Rock on Chris!

  6. dental eggs September 18, 2013 at 11:09 PM #

    Ha! Awesome. Now I want Subway.

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