My Simplistic Review Of The Movie: Brave

25 Jun

Being a family of six, it’s a rarity that we go to the actual movie theater to watch a movie. It just costs way to much. So when it came to an unusual Saturday night when it was just me and the Toddler, we decided to go see Disney/Pixar’s Brave.

I got a free popcorn from my movie rewards card and purchased a small and medium soda which came to $10. I was at the Target earlier in the day where I could have purchased 4 twelve packs of soda for $11. Which means….for one dollar more I could have purchased 46 more sodas.

Who says movie theaters charge an arm and a leg for concessions?

I don’t feel ripped off at all.

The movie wasn’t what I expected, but then again, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew is that some red headed chick shot arrows. My knowledge was based solely on the packaging of the doll the Toddler wanted me to buy her the last time we went to the store.

Daddy, I want this!

The plot was the same old princess-is-suppose-to-marry-some-prince-who-she-doesn’t-want-to-marry-so-she-decides-to-rebel-in-some-way story.

This movie is Scottish in theme, so the princess had to choose between three Scottish clans. One of the Scottish clans had the blue war paint from Braveheart, the Mel “I hate Jews” Gibson movie, and the prince looked like the actor, Adrien Brody.

Copyright Disney/Pixar

Copyright Adrien/Brody

This another one of the suitors.

Who was modeled after actor Jack Busey…I think.

The third suitor I couldn’t find a picture of…

Anyway…

The princess turns her mother into a bear through a magic spell from a witch in the woods. This spell originally was just suppose to change her mother’s mind about forcing her to marry Adrien Brody or one of the other two goof balls. The witch was very vague about the spell. The red head should have seen it coming. Maybe she had never seen a Disney movie before?

You can figure out the rest the rest of the story, I’m sure.

I will say I was fascinated by the job they did on the princess’ red curly hair. It was incredible. I mostly focused on that the whole entire movie.

I’m thinking I should have sprung the extra couple of dollars to see this hair in 3D. This picture does not do it justice at all.

Some lady that sat next to us in the movie theater laughed loudly through the whole movie, even at parts that weren’t particularly that funny. I think she was a “plant” by Disney to…you know…start a laugh orgy so that everyone was brainwashed into thinking it was funnier then what it was.

All in all, I thought it was funnier then what it was…see what that laughing lady just did there…

Fans of Pixar movies know that John Ratzenberger is in every single one. I didn’t know what part he played in Brave, I didn’t hear his voice…which is pretty distinct.

Apparently he plays a guard named Gordon. I didn’t know until I read it in the closing credits.

Is it worth taking the kids too? Sure…

…or you could wait until BluRay/DVD combo comes out as well.

***Spoiler Alert***

My favorite part of the movie is where the princess is locked in her room and the only person who has the key is this heavy set woman with lots of cleavage, whom periodically appears here and there. Some sort of nanny maybe, or cleaning woman, or Aunt…I don’t know for sure what her job is…Anyway, she hides the key between her breasts, and one of the princess’ brothers dives into her shirt to retrieve the key and rescue the princess.

Best rescue. Ever.

***Spoiler Alert 2***

I saw a preview for The Hobbit. It didn’t look that great.

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2 Responses to “My Simplistic Review Of The Movie: Brave”

  1. La La June 25, 2012 at 3:29 PM #

    Sad news about The Hobbit…..as I am literally counting down to that. I’m glad you got to see some boobs, I know that’s important for you. Based on this review, I am absolutely seeing this movie.

    • Christopher De Voss June 25, 2012 at 3:56 PM #

      I stayed awake for the whole movie, that should tell you something.

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