The Last Of The Jonathon “Jasper” Johns Guest Posts

15 Jun

For Jonathon “Jasper” Johns last guest post, I let him interview me.

The Interview

by Jonathon “Jasper” Johns

Jasper: Hello, today I’m going to interview Christopher De Voss on my blog, mostly because all the real celebrities were busy. So I settled for this Z-lister.

Chris: Um, it’s actually my blog, and thank you…I think.

Jasper: I must compliment you are your choice of guest writers, which would be me. Aren’t you happy you begged me to do it?

Chris: Actually you begged me to do it.

Jasper: How do like all the new followers?

Chris: Um, I lost 32 followers truth be told.

Jasper: And your stats went through the roof!

Chris: Well, not quite.

Jasper: Huh? I don’t think so.

Chris: Well, as of this morning my WordPress stats are down 40%, my Klout score is down to 21, and my Empire Avenue stock is -2.

Jasper: Which one of my posts do you think was the most genius?

Chris: To be honest I really liked the Fishing Story. It was open and honest and funny. It showed a unique side of you.

Jasper: No. That was a throw away. It was stupid. I think my post were I insult you was brilliant. I think it got the most views as well.

Chris: Yeah, yeah. It was great. I’ve heard them all before from you. It actually got the least number of views of all your posts.

Jasper: Are you looking at the same stats that I’m looking at?

Chris: Probably not. So, I know you had problems coming up with ideas. I bet you have a little more respect for the craft now.

Jasper: I found it quite easy.

Chris: Baylee-Ann said you didn’t sleep the whole week, and that you mostly sat in front of the computer and wept.

Jasper: I was…um…looking at a very sad website. It was about your blog.

Chris: Yup. I kind of expected you to say that. So, are you going to start your own blog?

Jasper: No, no. The Freezy Pleasy* takes too much of my time. I had to close it in order to cover your ass. So are you going to start your own blog? Because your current blog sucks. Except for this week. This week it was awesome.

Chris: Was that suppose to clever…or make sense?

Jasper: And that was my interview with Christopher De Voss. While he falls into internet obscurity, please visit The Freezy Pleasy for some great specials located in the heart of Kissimmee, Florida. Mention the code words: “Jasper for blog master!” and receive 5% off your purchase total.

*The Freezy Pleasy is the store that Jasper runs. They sell freeze dried foods.


4 Responses to “The Last Of The Jonathon “Jasper” Johns Guest Posts”

  1. pelicanfreak June 15, 2012 at 4:13 PM #

    Team Chris!!!!!

  2. Maggie O'C June 15, 2012 at 4:47 PM #

    Jasper we hardly knew ye.

  3. Dotty Headbanger June 16, 2012 at 1:53 PM #

    Dear Jasper,

    I’ll miss you.

    Love Dotty xxx

Comments are closed.

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