Jonathon “Jasper” Johns Guest Post Issue #2

12 Jun

Due to some family matters, my neighbor and biggest critic, Jonathon “Jasper” Johns has volunteered to guest write for me this week. I have given him free reign to write whatever he likes…god help us all.

My Fishing Story

by Jonathon “Jasper” Johns

My buddy Hector and I went fishing on the St. Johns River the other day.  It was about 6 am when Hector suggested that we open our first Bud Lights. So we did. I felt a little strange drinking beer before the sun even had fully rose, but what the heck. We are men after all, doing a man’s thing, fishing.

We quickly finished the beers. I told Hector, let’s have another. Hector nodded in agreement, and we both had another. Two beers each, just as the sun was beginning to break the horizon. This was good, good, man times. Good man fun.

Hector then broke out some chewing tobacco. Normally I’m not a big chewer, but what the heck. I dipped, he dipped, we dippty dipped. It was good. Men being men.

I opened up the cooler and pulled out some gummy bears. I offered Hector all the clear gummy bears because I don’t particularly like the clear ones. Men eating gummy bears, drinking, beer, chewing tobacco, fishing. Men stuff.

Hector pulled out some bubbles and challenged me to see who can blow the biggest bubble. We probably had a bubble battle for a good solid half hour. Right there on the river. Being men. I won of course. Hector smokes, so his lung power isn’t as good.

We dipped our fishing poles in the water, pulled out a couple of apple juice boxes, and enjoyed our man time.

Until Baylee-Ann called me and asked me to come home because she clogged up the toilet again.

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9 Responses to “Jonathon “Jasper” Johns Guest Post Issue #2”

  1. jayne ayres June 12, 2012 at 3:17 PM #

    The Manly Men Rule the World!

    • Christopher De Voss June 12, 2012 at 4:05 PM #

      Yes they do. Grrrr! That’s De Voss’ picture, not mine. I’m not that fat.

  2. Maggie O'C June 12, 2012 at 5:06 PM #

    You can’t Man up and eat the clear gummi bears??? kinda disappointed.

    • Christopher De Voss June 12, 2012 at 11:47 PM #

      A real man would not eat clear gummi bears, period. And in case your wondering, that’s not my picture. My forehead isn’t that high.

  3. Bumba June 12, 2012 at 6:35 PM #

    It was funny!

    • Christopher De Voss June 12, 2012 at 11:48 PM #

      Thank you. You must be a real man. By the way, that’s not my picture. My hair doesn’t look like I combed it with a weed eater.

  4. Dotty Headbanger June 12, 2012 at 7:02 PM #

    Dear Jasper,

    You’re hilarious, laugh out loud hilarious. Much funnier than that other bloke.
    What was his name again?

    Love Dotty xxx

    • Christopher De Voss June 12, 2012 at 11:51 PM #

      Thank you Dotty. You must be a woman of exceptional taste. I would just like to mention that that is not my picture. I don’t resemble the offspring of a woodchuck and an ostrich like that picture implies.

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